How To Resolve Your Burnout

A vacation to Paris, although pretty great, isn't going to fix it.

One word for you. Burnout.

I hear about burnout a lot. Any of this ring true for you?

  • Exhaustion
  • Lack of motivation
  • That sick feeling on Sunday afternoon
  • Wondering if you need to quit or work at Target

A number of my clients have taken sabbaticals or in some cases, lengthly leaves which might end up lasting forever. Friends have resolved their burnout by quitting intense jobs to become baristas.

You think you can fix your burnout with a fruity drink under a beach umbrella? The thing is, when you return to work and life, all the conditions that led to your burnout are still there.

So it becomes a cycle.

Burnout, rest. Burnout, rest.

The exhaustion and lack of motivation never resolve.

Does this sound like you or someone you know?

Good news! I'm going to give you all my best tips and strategies for managing your energy at the live event, Energizing U. You'll be able to take what you learn into your life to change the conditions and resolve the exhaustion so you feel more energized and motivated in your work and life.

If you're not burned out, please come. What we're talking about has universal application wherever you are in life.

Energizing U is 11:00am - 12:00pm CT on Thursday October 26. If you want to amp up your energy and movtivation, this one's for you! Sign up here.

 

For Those Of You Who Are Burned Out, Stressed Out, And Tired

Time to read: One little minute or less

When you are stressed out, stuck, frustrated, maybe even angry, working crazy hours, falling into bed exhausted, feeling unmotivated or just plain burned out, what do you do?

As a first step, assess, what is the structure of your situation?

Within every circumstance, structural issues contribute to the experience you are having. Here is what I mean:

  • You operate within a matrixed reporting structure with many leaders giving direction. This creates confusion and makes determining priorities hard if not impossible.
  • Your role serves multiple stakeholders who have no visiblity to each other. They all believe they are the only one pulling on your time and talent.
  • Your industry has seasonal pushes, like tax time, a semester, or summer programming that pre-determine your annual schedule.
  • Your role is global so your colleagues are in Asia which means early morning meetings.

The bad news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. Of course you can advocate for changes, and if you put all your energy into trying to change the macro structures, you will deplete yourself.

The good news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. This means that you DO have agency over how you navigate a tricky structure, how you operate day-to-day, the ways you care for yourself, and frankly to decide if this structure is something you can tolerate, or not.

You always have choices.

It's not the structure that exhausts you. It's fighting the structure that exhausts you. Separate out the structural issues then look for places to claim your agency and power. You will find yourself with more energy and less stress.

I hope this helps!

 

What's the Common Denominator In Your Stress?

Time to Read: 1 minute, 38 seconds (maybe two minutes if you read every detail to the bottom)

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Hello Rebels!

In my late 20s, I got a PhD. While writing my dissertation, I ate at strange hours, stayed up late, and became crabby and unreliable to my friends and loved ones. Once I graduated, I ran from becoming a professor. I never wanted to repeat the pattern of behavior that burned me out so thoroughly.

So, I went into business. The corporate world was a great fit. I loved the stimulation and the people problems in my HR and Compliance roles. Then the company got acquired, the industry was being overhauled by the government, and I was involved in creating a significant cultural change in our sales and marketing practices. I was staying up all hours and became crabby with my children and unreliable to my friends. I quit and vowed never to take another corporate job because I was exhausted and burned out. (Hmmm... Are you seeing a pattern yet? At the time, I didn't.)

So, I got retrained as a coach and started my own business. I was my own boss, could set my own hours, and determine my own priorities. Three years into my coaching business, I launched a big project and became crabby and unreliable and once again, burned myself out so thoroughly, I literally had to lay on the couch for a week.

At that point I was like, "wait… a… minute. I'm in my own business. I can do things however I like, and I'm still burning myself out. Damn it. The common denominator is me."

Insert wake up call.

Can you relate?

Do you see a pattern that you repeat again and again even when you are sure that changing the circumstances (job, marriage, location, weight) will fix it? Maybe you don't see the pattern, and you simply find yourself stuck in the same situation over and over.

Personal experience taught me that changing the circumstances fixes it for a few months or a couple of years and then you find yourself watching the same movie and wondering how it happened again.

I've spent the past two years diving deep and developing a sense of self worth that is not founded in my production and external success. I've learned tools and developed a relationship with myself and my purpose that is grounded in trust, joy, and fun. I've learned to work differently. I get just as much done. (In fact, frequently, I get more done.) I just don't go to burn out anymore. It's wonderful.

It's time to share all this learning and these tools with you.

Anne and I are excited to announce an exciting new group coaching program, the Corporate Rebel Clarity U.

This group is for you if...

  • You react instead of actively making decisions which leaves you feeling depleted and second-guessing your choices.
  • Life and work feel chaotic and disjointed. You find yourself running from place to place, slamming out emails, and feeling like you're not actually accomplishing anything.
  • You fall into the same ineffective patterns that have held you back for years.
  • Every year you think, "This is the year things are going to be different." Then they are not different and you keep going with the same old, same old.

Starting in early October, you'll learn how to...

  • Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be calmer and work more fulfilling.
  • Gracefully navigate transitions so you feel confident in the unknown and able to handle the changes that work and life throw at you.
  • Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation. You will look back and wonder why you didn't address this stuff sooner.
  • Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
  • Get clear about what you want and bravely take action toward making your goals real.

We'd love to chat to see if The Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group is a good fit to help you put work and life on your terms. This link will take you to Christina's personal calendar to schedule a casual 30-minute chat. We'll talk about what's going on in your life, develop a solution or two, and determine whether our group program is the right next step.

You can also hit reply to this email to set up a time in the next few week or reach out to Christina or Anne privately with questions or inquiries.

christina@boydsmithcoaching.com

annelippin@gmail.com

We'd love to work with you. Truly.

With Rebel Hugs,

Christina

P.S. Are you ready to take action in your life? Let's talk! Click this link to choose a 30-minute spot on my calendar. We'll talk about what's going on and whether Corporate Rebel Clarity U is a good fit.

P.P.S. We are hosting the Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group online so you can participate from anywhere in the world.

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to join you. Simply forward this email to them. They can sign up to chat here.

 

Do You Hate It When People Tell You How You Feel?

Time to read: 1 little minute and 15 tiny seconds

My corporate campsite this week.

My corporate campsite this week.

Do you hate it when people tell you how you feel?

Let me begin with a little story then tell you what to do when someone inaccurately insists you must be feeling something you are not.

I'm at a client site this week doing 2 intense days of back to back private coaching for a big corporation followed by a third day of team building sessions. When I return home, I head to another big corporation to coach all day in their women's leadership program. When I tell people about my week, they say, "that must be exhausting!",

When I hear that, I'm like, "hmmmmm….," or I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed because other people's opinions can muddy the water and make it hard to listen to your own feelings and trust your own experience. With their suggestion, you might start to wonder, "Am I exhausted? Maybe I should be."

By becoming aware when other people are imposing how you should feel, you can commit to listen to and trust how you actually feel.

Here's how to do that:

  1. Check in with yourself. When you hear a suggestion for how you should feel, use it as a reminder to pause and check in. How are you feeling? Is there something you need to express, process alone, or adjust? What will get you on track with where you want to be?
  2. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself. Are you telling stories that are empowering or disempowering? Is telling yourself that you are exhausted or overwhelmed enabling you to be your best self and do your best work or is it sapping your energy?
  3. Choose your feelings. You get to decide if you are exhausted, overwhelmed or frustrated. The circumstances don't dictate your feelings, and other people's suggestions certainly don't. It is true that I may be tired when I get on the plane to go home, and while doing the work, I choose to be energized and inspired by my clients.
  4. Clarify. If you want to, you can clarify how you really feel to the person who is asking. Assume they care about you and had the best of intentions when they made their comment. Something like, "actually, I love these clients and get in the zone when I do back-to-back coaching."
  5. Get curious. If you notice yourself "suggesting" feelings to others, get curious. Instead of telling them how they feel, ask, "How do you feel about that?" You might be surprised by what you learn and amused to see the assumptions you make, too.

I hope this helps!

Christina

P.S. Are there people to whom you'd like to give a big, fat hint? Use this email to tell them to stop suggesting how you should feel! They can join to receive this newsletter right here.

This Is For All the Overachievers!

Time to read: A reasonable, not-overachieving one minute and thirty-six seconds

(No photo this week because I'm not overachieving today!)

Hi, my name is Christina, and I'm an overachiever. It's been 2 months since my last overachievement, and it's been going ok. Well, if I'm honest I've been jonesing for another overachievement and fighting the weak parts of myself to not fall off the wagon into overwork and stress.

It's nice to meet you. Can you relate?

Over-acheiving is an addiction because your brain gets a delicious hit of dopamine every time you check one more to-do off the list. Ahhh…..so good.

So, in the absence of over-working, I've been uncomfortable. I don't mean the pillow-on-the-couch-is-squished-in-a-weird-way uncomfortable. I mean a deep down in my gut uncomfortable. I feel antsy and discombobulated. I have more than enough work right now, and I'm learning a ton about myself and my emotions in an advanced coach training course. There's a lot going on at home, too, so it's not like I'm sitting around eating bonbons and watching Oprah all day (and, hey, no judgment if you eat bonbons and watch Oprah). My plate is full, and I'm uncomfortable because it is not over-full, and I'm not ploughing ahead on a big project.

If you are a chronic overachiever and cycle through burnout and exhaustion, here are some thoughts:

  1. The messages around you state that more is always better. Bigger portions. More with less. Faster results. Higher salaries. More responsibility. You find yourself on a constant hamster wheel in pursuit of "more." I'll tell you this, it will never be enough. There is no "ahhh…I made it" at the end of that game.
  2. Notice if you use work to avoid discomfort. A friend of mine once observed, "Christina, you work to manage your anxiety." You may be using work to numb uncomfortable feelings (like fear, doubt, or uncertainty).
  3. Notice how your sense of self-worth and value is wrapped up in what you produce. Overachieving has made me successful. It got me a PhD, corporate promotions and a successful coaching business. And each time, there has been a price to pay to my relationships, wellbeing, and happiness. The price isn't worth it anymore (and probably never was), and I'm determined to learn how to be successful without the overworking.
  4. See what it happens when you give yourself permission to stop overachieving and just be with the discomfort, even if it's only for 2 seconds. Start small and work up from there. I have a feeling the secret to peace, flow, and ease is weirdly in the discomfort.
  5. Ask yourself, "for the sake of what?" What's the purpose behind the achievement? Is it joy and learning or is it the outcome and recognition? Align your work to your values and align your daily choices to what you want for your entire life, including family, self-care, hobbies, and relationships.

I don't have the answer to this one yet as I'm on this journey with you. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

For now, you are enough. You have enough. You're doing enough.

More soon!

Christina

P.S. Think of 2-3 friends who need to hear the message that they are enough and are doing enough. Send them this newsletter with your love and this link so they can sign up to hear more!

 

The way you spend your day….

Estimated read time: 1 minute

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I want to check in with you about how things are going in your job.

I know you struggle with burn-out, overwhelm, and what to do next. You keep thinking things will change if you just work harder, take on more responsibility or give the changes in your company more time. Being stuck is a total drag.

These struggles have me thinking about a funeral I attended for a colleague from my corporate days. He worked hard, sometimes staying at the office on Christmas Eve, traveling internationally, sacrificing for the company and putting many things off “until retirement.” The church was simultaneously crying and laughing hysterically at the stories his children told of the things their dad was finally doing in his retirement. He was just beginning to enjoy all the things he had worked for when he died 2 years in.

When I hear you say, “I’ll wait until next year. Maybe things will get better on their own,” or “I can put up with anything until my kids are out of college,” it breaks my heart. Time is short. Your life is valuable. The time to bring back joy, balance, health, and meaning is NOW. Retirement is too far away. Even next year is too far away.

This quote makes me think of you everyday:

How you spend your days is how you spend your life. ~Annie Dilliard

You are the one with the power to make things better for yourself. Waiting for your company to make things better for you is only going to make you another year older.

If you are:

  • waiting to see if things will get better on their own;
  • procrastinating on making a change because you’re scared of the financial consequences;
  • skeptical that things can ever be better in your job;
  • wishing you had the roadmap to professional fulfillment,

Let’s hop on the phone. Email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com to schedule a session with me.

I promise you they can be better. Don’t wait another year to create your life and work on your terms. The time to be happy at work is now.

We’ll spend 30 minutes creating an inspiring and empowering plan for things to be better NOW.

Whether we end up working together or not, I can't wait to connect.

Happy Halloween!

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.