For Those Of You Who Are Burned Out, Stressed Out, And Tired

Time to read: One little minute or less

When you are stressed out, stuck, frustrated, maybe even angry, working crazy hours, falling into bed exhausted, feeling unmotivated or just plain burned out, what do you do?

As a first step, assess, what is the structure of your situation?

Within every circumstance, structural issues contribute to the experience you are having. Here is what I mean:

  • You operate within a matrixed reporting structure with many leaders giving direction. This creates confusion and makes determining priorities hard if not impossible.
  • Your role serves multiple stakeholders who have no visiblity to each other. They all believe they are the only one pulling on your time and talent.
  • Your industry has seasonal pushes, like tax time, a semester, or summer programming that pre-determine your annual schedule.
  • Your role is global so your colleagues are in Asia which means early morning meetings.

The bad news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. Of course you can advocate for changes, and if you put all your energy into trying to change the macro structures, you will deplete yourself.

The good news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. This means that you DO have agency over how you navigate a tricky structure, how you operate day-to-day, the ways you care for yourself, and frankly to decide if this structure is something you can tolerate, or not.

You always have choices.

It's not the structure that exhausts you. It's fighting the structure that exhausts you. Separate out the structural issues then look for places to claim your agency and power. You will find yourself with more energy and less stress.

I hope this helps!

 

The Downside of Everything

Time to read: short and sweet 38 seconds

Bookkeeping time!

Tomorrow is tax day. For those of you who work for organizations, we entrepreneurs have get to pay "quarterly estimated taxes" 4 times a year since our earnings are variable.

I'm tired. I coached all day. I parented all day. I walked dogs and did laundry. I still have to get dinner on the table. And….bookkeeping and taxes are part of being a legitimate business so despite how I feel, I'll sit down now and get 'er done. I can imagine a thousand more fun things to do.

Can you relate?

This is the sh%$ sandwich that comes with owning my own business. It's easy to fantasize about how great "that job" will be; or how much better your life would be if you had a different career (I hear things like "a non profit would be more meaningful…." and "if only I had the benefits in a big company…."); or how much freedom you'd have if you went out on your own.

It's all about choices. I have freedom. I love what I do. The impact of coaching is meaningful to me. Being my own accounting and IT departments aren't my favorite.

When you look around your world, have you made choices that align with what you want? Are you getting results that align with your sense of purpose and meaning?

In the words of a graduate:

"When I came to Clarity U, I was depleted. If you are not getting what you want, I highly recommend Clarity U. I am now moving forward with renewed confidence and a zest for life." - HR Director and Bicycle Enthusiast

Intrigued? Let's talk. We start in early October so the opportunity is ticking. Grab your spot here.

Can't wait to connect!

 

Give Yourself Permission

Time to read: 46.5 seconds

If you need uplifting, today isn't it.

Today is about the permission to feel however you are feeling.

Here's me: I'm weary.

I got Covid in NYC. (I'm fine.) Everyone in my family and many of my friends either have Covid now or had it recently. Then there's Ukraine, and Buffalo. And Uvalde.

I'm tired of bad news. I'm tired of children getting killed. I'm tired of black people being killed. I'm tired of Asian people being killed. Frankly, I'm tired of all kinds of people getting killed. I'm tired of wearing a mask. I'm tired of trying to keep my parents safe. I'm tired of figuring out every day how to pull two teenagers through this world with hope and optimism.

I am fundamentally optimistic. I am grateful for many things (although today I'm just not feeling it, ya know?). I know that this will pass, and I'll be my cheery self again in no time.

And sometimes, my job as a coach is to model the full range of human experience and emotion so you have permission to have your full range of human experience and emotion.

Today, I'm weary.

I called a friend and she said, "welcome to Blue Island." If you're weary, too, or just not feeling it, pull up a beach chair. Blue Island a hopping place with free drinks. If you're feeling great…well….great! Free drinks for you, too.

Here's the message for today. If you are also feeling blue…or if you feel blue tomorrow or in a week…it's ok. You can simply feel blue and keep going. It's normal. Even desirable. The world is worth your weariness, sadness, even your despair.

If you know someone who needs permission to feel down, share my newsletter with them! Anyone can sign up here.

 

Exhausted? Foggy? Here's What's Happening...

Time to read: Less than a minute

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How are you doing around 5:00?

I bet you find yourself reaching for a glass of wine, exhausted, barely able to put two sentences together. Without the wine, that's exactly what I'm like every evening.

so

so

tired

On the Corporate Rebel Daily call, everyone does a two-word check-in about how they feel in that moment. Lately words like, "weary," "exhausted," and "tired" have been popular.

What the heck is going on? We have more free time. We aren't rushing around. We're eating meals at home. It seems like we should be better rested, not worse.

Here's the answer. It's called allostatic load. Read about that here. The executive summary is that your brain is working on overdrive even if your body isn't. One of my coaches, Ann Betz, used the apt metaphor of your cell phone: All the apps and systems run down the battery even if you're not using your phone.

That is your brain right now.

You have stress and anxiety running in your operating system which explains why you can only handle The Bachelor after 6:00 and can barely muster the energy to pull yourself off the couch to go to bed.

The danger is that you start to feel that it is your inadequacy that causes you to be so tired. Now you know that allostatic load is a real thing and has nothing to do with your character or abilities. So, enjoy the Bachelor and take care of yourself.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Here are two free resources to help you and yours during this challenging time. Spread them around and enjoy!

1. Rebels at Home Challenge: This challenge is a series of eight 3-minute daily video exercises to uplift you and help you find your place in this global pandemic. And it will give you something new to talk about at your next Zoom happy hour. Sign up here.

2. The Unconventional Guide to Working from Home: This is a downloadable pdf of practical tips and big picture strategies to help you be efficient, focused and effective at home. Click to download the pdf here.