Time to read: It's a long one. 1.5 minutes!
Arguing over walks and feeding your Covid pup? Design your alliance!
Hello Rebels!
As you start to slowly emerge from isolation and find your way back to life, the risk of conflict is great. Returning to the office. Kids back at school. Families with different values. Reuniting with friends and loved ones. Travel. The tool I'm going to share today is a game changer. I use it all the time.
(First, welcome all y'all who came over from Jason Lauritsen's group. Jason is an amazing public speaker, author and world changer. I'm lucky to call him a friend.)
Jason shared the Designed Alliance* process, and here's more to help you get the most out of it. For those of you who have been in the Corporate Rebel Community for a while, you can get the download here.
Here are three things that will make you a powerful Designed Alliance Ninja Wizard.
1. This process is about being in intentional relationship. It's about how you work together rather than what you'll do.
The mistake I see in partnerships and groups is starting with the work. For example, you volunteer for a committee at your children's school and at the first meeting, you do some intros and dive right into the details for the graduation party. Inevitably, someone steps on someone's toes or gets hurt when someone squelches their ideas. All of that drama is preventable with a little up-front conversation.
2. A designed alliance creates strong relationships and makes the actual work much easier. It's worth the up-front investment. Think about any team or group you've worked in. When relationships are sound, the work runs smoothly, even when you run into bumps. When people aren't getting along, it's almost impossible to do the work and hours of your time get wasted in navigating interpersonal landmines.
3. The designed alliance process works for big and small situations.
When my husband and I renovated our house, we used all 8 steps because the risk of marital disaster was great. The process went smoothly and we actually had fun. (And thanks to our alliance, I didn't have to care about dimmer switches.)
If a friend calls and you only have 10 minutes before your next meeting, a quick, "I have 10 minutes. If we need more time, I can call you later" counts as a designed alliance.
One of my clients used this process with her family (including small children) before a vacation and reported that, "It was the best vacation we've ever had."
I taught this process to my parents this weekend. They've had some change and an alliance will help things go smoothly.
Without conscious relationship, we bonk into each other's assumptions, try to read each other's minds, and give people what we think they want (which often isn't what they actually want).
As you start to get back to life, design your alliances early and often. Then hit reply to this email and tell me what happens. I love to hear your stories.