What I Learned This Summer Part 3: You'll Know When Its Time

Time to read: 36.25 seconds

Last week I told you I took the month of August off. The truth is I was bone tired. Not burned out because I love what I do, and after the pandemic and a bunch of personal stuff, I needed to put everything down and recover.

I was unmotivated. I slept until 8:30. Going to the gym was a victory. Major sources of entertainment were walking my dogs, hanging with friends, and reading. I could not muster the energy for anything related to work. I couldn't even talk about it. (You'll hear more about that next week.)

A little voice wondered if my drive would ever return. If my new normal would be nothing but dog walks and tea.

Then, in the past week, as I've started seeing clients again and planning for a new cohort of my signature group program, Clarity U (more coming about that later), I started to imagine a couple of free online events and what I wanted to write in my newsletter. Ideas started flowing, and I'm excited to create events and content for you.

The takeaway for you is that you can trust yourself to know when it's time to turn it off. And when you're ready to turn it back on. Your motivation and energy ebb and flow. Be ready to move when it flows, and honor your need for the ebb.

You can get more information and sign up for Creating U here and Energizing U here.

Challenge #6: Yes!

Time to read: Short and fun!

Welcome to week 6 of your summer challenge!

You said no and you've quit! Yay you.

Now you have extra time and energy in your life. Your reward is the chance to say YES!

A friend of mine told me something she heard about fashion choices. If a piece of clothing isn't a Hell Yes! then it's a Hell No! So this week, I want you to look for the Hell Yes to yourself.

Maybe it's a new outfit or spending time in your garden or picking up an old hobby or starting a new one. Maybe it's asking for a challenging project at work or organizing a party. Whatever it is, feel into the energy of Yes! and go for it.

Then email me and tell me all about it. Even better, send photos! I love to hear from you.

If you're enjoying this challenge, please invite your friends and colleagues to join you. All they have to do is sign up here.

For Those Of You Who Are Burned Out, Stressed Out, And Tired

Time to read: One little minute or less

When you are stressed out, stuck, frustrated, maybe even angry, working crazy hours, falling into bed exhausted, feeling unmotivated or just plain burned out, what do you do?

As a first step, assess, what is the structure of your situation?

Within every circumstance, structural issues contribute to the experience you are having. Here is what I mean:

• You operate within a matrixed reporting structure with many leaders giving direction. This creates confusion and makes determining priorities hard if not impossible.
• Your role serves multiple stakeholders who have no visiblity to each other. They all believe they are the only one pulling on your time and talent.
• Your industry has seasonal pushes, like tax time, a semester, or summer programming that pre-determine your annual schedule.
• Your role is global so your colleagues are in Asia which means early morning meetings.

The bad news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. Of course you can advocate for changes, and if you put all your energy into trying to change the macro structures, you will deplete yourself.

The good news is that you have little influence over these structural issues. This means that you DO have agency over how you navigate a tricky structure, how you operate day-to-day, the ways you care for yourself, and frankly to decide if this structure is something you can tolerate, or not.

You always have choices.

It's not the structure that exhausts you. It's fighting the structure that exhausts you. Separate out the structural issues then look for places to claim your agency and power. You will find yourself with more energy and less stress.

I hope this helps!

Why Your Energy Matters

Time to read: 35 seconds

Happy September!

Lately, I've been thinking and talking a lot about energy. What it is. Why it matters.

The bottom line: The energy you put out into the world matters. A lot. To you. To those around you. Even to the wider environment.

I'm about to share a personal story, and the point is not to toot my horn but to show you the impact you have, even when you don't realize it.

A thank-you note arrived in the mail from a graduation party I attended for one of my daughter's friends. I interacted with this lovely girl a handful of times and wouldn't say I know her well. Here's what she wrote,

"I would like to say thanks for modeling kindness and positivity in all of our interactions. Seeing an adult act the way you do has shaped me into a better person, and for that, I am thankful."

I was touched. Our world is filled with animosity, conflict, anger, and separation, and it doesn't have to be. If you choose to be kind and positive and you choose to be kind and positive and you choose to be kind and positive, then we end up with a very different atmosphere. How you choose to be matters. Today, I want you to see and own your impact…in every interaction. Big and small. Make them count.

If you get the concept that energy and who you are matters, and you feel stuck or like you'd like to figure out how to unlock the best parts of you, let's talk! I open my calendar once a year for free 30-minute chats. We'll talk about what's going on for you and develop a solution or two. I'm also enrolling the 2023 class for my signature group coaching program, Clarity U.

Here's what one graduate has to say:

"Clarity U allowed me to remember who I am and show up authentically. As a result, I made a career change after 25 years. It would not have happened without Clarity U! The ride is worth every minute." -Director of Qualified Plans and Nurturer of Curiosity

Intrigued? Let's talk. We start in early October so the offer to chat is only open in Sepember. Grab your spot.

Can't wait to connect!

Finally! Something From Me To You!

Time to read: 48 seconds

I'm excited to announce a FREE live experience for you! (If you already know you want to sign up for Hope in the Everyday do so here.)

Early in the pandemic, back when we all had oodles of energy, I offered free classes, a daily check in on Zoom, and written resources about working from home. Then we got tired. And busy. Then, frankly, exhausted. You (and I) did not have one tiny shred of energy for anything else, even if that thing was good.

We're back! We're not back to 100% yet, and I've noticed recently that my clients and students have more mental bandwidth to reflect, ask big questions, and make conscious decisions. I also have more energy to create.

Many of you have reached out to ask when I'll offer free resources again. The answer is NOW!

You are invited to a 3-part live experience called Hope in the Everyday.

In three 60-minute live events (August 25, September 8 and 22), we'll assess the current state of your work and life, build skills for hope and well-being, and create an action plan to bring all that learning into your real life and career. If you've ever attended one of my events in the past, you know they are lively and relevant. If you haven't, you're in for a treat. Get more info and sign up to join Hope in the Everyday.

The Most Important Skill In Conflict

Time to read: 34 seconds

Here's a little secret about me. I love conflict. Conflict breeds clarity. Energy. Possibility. If handled well, conflict invites change, understanding, and creativity. (To clarify: I'm not talking about violence or war. I'm talking about interpersonal conflict at work and at home).

You only need to handle all types of conflict in your life, no matter how uncomfortable.

Listening.

If a co-worker is angry because something you said made them feel thrown under the bus in a meeting, what do you do?

Listen.

When your boss disagrees with a decision you made?

Listen.

When your tween screams, "you don't understand!"

Listen.

When your partner complains that all household chores fall to them....

Listen.

Listening is easy. You don't have to have an answer. You don't have to know what to do. You only have to shut your mouth, manage your feelings, and listen. Maybe ask a clarifying question or two to keep the person talking.

Oh...and when you listen, you are seeking to understand. Not planning your response.

Give it a try. Next time you find yourself in a conflict big or small, try saying nothing and simply listening. For as long as it takes. Then let me know what happens! I love your stories.

Share my newsletter freely! Anyone can sign up here.

Take Action!

Time to read: Action! Action! Action! 46.5 seconds

Today a client (let's call her Jane) told me she was waffling about sending a text to a neighbor to hang out after a frustrating day at work. She wanted the company and feared she was bothering her neighbor or asking for too much. She swallowed the second guessing, sent the text, got an instant "yes!" and enjoyed a glass of wine and her neighbor's companionship. She felt better after a hard day.

What I love about this story is the action orientation. Jane didn't analyze why she was afraid to send the text. She didn't succumb to not sending the text. She simply sent the text and got a result.

Action produces results. Guaranteed.

• You can plan to share a new idea with your boss. Sharing the idea will generate feedback, additional ideas, and energy. Even hearing "no" will generate energy.
• Joining a new club will instantly lead to new relationships and experiences.
• Applying for a job will create an updated resume, interview planning, and momentum even if you don't get the job.

Action leads to more action. On and on it goes.

So, make the call, book the trip, send the email, sign up for the class, say the thing. You'll be glad you did.

If you are one of the many people who forward these emails to your friends and colleagues, please make sure they know they can sign up for this newsletter here

Have a great weekend!