It All Starts With YOU

Time to read:

Lilies from my garden

A few weeks ago, when I asked what keeps you up at night, overwhelmingly you answered, "the state of the world," "how to go about daily life when so much is going on," and "people no longer caring for each other."

First, I want to acknowledge that you are right. There is so much going on. It's a constant barrage of bad news, chaos, and reasons to despair.

And…I hope.

I believe in the power of humans. Humans get seduced by power, money, greed, and ego and justify terrible things to ourselves. That is not all we are.

The world you want starts with you. Each of us has a responsibility, a duty to put out into the world the energy and behavior you wish to see in other people and in our culture.

That means:

• Be kind, even when others are not.
• Take care of yourself so you have the energy to choose your behavior. Being tired leads to unconscious reactions which are often not helpful or productive.
• Actively find ways to serve the people around you in big and small ways. What do you have to share? What can you give? As an example, we have a cherry tree in our yard, and I invited folks from my Buy Nothing FB page to pick cherries. People brought their kids. A refugee family was so happy to have a taste of home. Sharing those cherries was not a big thing. And it breathed the energy of generosity and abundance I want to feed.
• Take responsibility for yourself. This is a big one that I will break down over a few weeks. You are the agent of your life. Make your choices accordingly.

This is a start to a bigger conversation. More to come....

Do You Worry If People Are Still Kind?

Time to read:

Beautiful flowers

A few weeks ago, when I asked you what you need this summer, many of you said you worry that people have lost the ability to be kind or care about each other. I plan to write about that A LOT because I have opinions. I always have opinions. :-)

When I wrote about my father's death last week, you all flooded me with love -handwritten notes, emails, texts, cards, and even more surprising, donations in honor of my father to the Lamu Center for Preventative Health (that's the link if you are so moved). Someone even sent me a rose bush.

Many of these kind expressions are from those of you I've never met. I'll grant that we "know" each other through this forum and email. And, if you worry that people have lost the ability to be kind, not in this group of 2000.

We are a micro community in a wider community, and even though what you see in the news shows a lot of crappy behavior, humans are programmed to be kind. You prove that every day.

And I will write about this more and the ways that you feed the world you want.

Rembemer That Left Turn?

Time to read: 60 seconds. 3 minutes if you read the obituary

This is my father, Alan Boyd.

Remember when I wrote about hard left turns? In the same week, my father became gravely ill and a friend was diagnosed with a terrible cancer. Then my father died a few days later. It's been an intense 10 days, to say the least. Hence, the silence.

I use the tools I talk about with you. Every day. I've learned a lot during this time:

• Stop. Just stop. I hit a wall and had to stop. I had to stop doing. I even had to stop thinking. I cleared my calendar so I could float around in my garden, walk my dogs, and rest. It's ok to admit when you have no capacity and stop.
• You are loved. My FB feed is filled with condolences from people in every corner of my life. Friends have shown up to help. Clients understood when I said I was taking a break. People get it. Everyone has challenges. We still know how to be human and care about one another.
• Live your life. Stop waiting. Life is too short not to live to the fullest.
• End well. My father had a full life and a beautiful death. He was surrounded by his family, friends, and music. Thanks to one of my clients, the Threshold Singers sang him home. If you'd like to read the obituary my mother, brother, and I wrote, it is here.

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. You can always begin again. And whenever it's time for something (job, relationship, life phase) to end, end well.

What To Do When Things Go Sideways

Vintage malachite and sterling necklace. Currently for sale!

You're walking along in your normal life when ka-pow! Something whacks you out of left field.

My life recently took a couple of hard left turns. Where there is before and after. When you know life will never be the same. I tell you this not to invite you to caretake me (no need; I'm good). I tell you this so you see that I understand the experience of life going upside down.

As many of you wrote to me, for all kinds of personal, professional, and political reasons, things feel topsy-turvy.

So, what do you do? That is my next series, starting today.

The first thing you do is hyperfocus. When your world feels chaotic and out of control, set your sights on two things:

1. Your doing: What are your priorities? Make those front and center, and let everything else go. Drop balls. Remove things from your life so you can do and be what you need to do and be. If you need to care for someone, make that #1. If you need to make doctor's appointments, do that. If you need to pursue an opportunity, charge forward. Your garden can wait. Those emails can wait. Your weekend plans can wait. Your vacation can be canceled. In some extreme situations, even that work project can wait.
2. Your being: Who do you want to be in this situation? How do you want to show up? For others and yourself. Anxious? A chaotic mess? A drama queen? Calm? Loving? Present? Connected?

Then choose accordingly. I am referring to emergency situations here, and the same principles apply to what has become our regular daily chaos (sigh, ugh). You choose who you will be, how you show up, and what you will do, no matter what is happening outside.

I'll talk more about this in the coming weeks. Stay tuned. And feel free to continue to send me your thoughts and questions.

Here's What You Are Worried About

Time to read: 10 seconds

My puppy, "helping" me in the garden

You are generous, kind, and transparent. I'm grateful to be able to spend this summer writing about what matters to you! You shared stories, thoughts, and the things keeping you up at night. Here is a short list of what you said so you know you're not alone:

• life balance
• the intense job market
• how to design the next phase of life (ie retirement)
• AI
• self care
• caretaking like aging parents
• too many emails
• your mindset around money
• family drama

And overwhelmingly, you wrote about your distress over the state of the world and our country. Many of you lie awake at night worried about the cost of gas, groceries, the job market, climate change, and the feeling that humans have stopped caring about each other.

All of these subjects share common themes, like change, living with uncertainty, managing fear, trusting life and yourself, and sustaining hope as a way of life.

I'll tell you up front: I am hopeful. I believe in the power of human ingenuity, resilience, and care.

I will be writing about all these things. Stay tuned.

Love to all of you, and thank you!

Know someone navigating a demanding season at work? Share this blog article with them. They can subscribe here

Questions about focus or making the most of an intense stretch? Email me . I read every one.

What are you worried about these days?

Time to read: 10 seconds

I don't drink, and last week, I had one, ok, two, cocktails at our daughter's college graduation

I'd like to create a series or two for you this summer, and I want to address the topics you care about. Please email me and let me know what you think.

Use these questions as inspiration. Then I will use your emails as inspiration.

• What are you thinking about these days?
• What keeps you up at night?
• What would you like to process or know more about?
• What issues are front and center in your world?

I love to hear from you, and I am excited to take the pulse of this community and create some content just for you!

Know someone navigating a demanding season at work? Share this blog article with them. They can subscribe here

Questions about focus or making the most of an intense stretch? Email me . I read every one.

Bonus: Celebration!

Time to read: 87 seconds

This is me, snuggling my dog

You did it!

Six weeks of building a new relationship with your focus. That deserves a moment. Pausing to celebrate locks in new habits — and honestly, it's just fun.

I'll go first.

I recently came through one of those intense stretches — constant travel for work and pleasure, back-to-back client work, and time with people I love scattered in between. To move through it calmly and collected, I put everything we've talked about into practice.

When it was time to write, all I did was write. Bags were packed days before travel. My to-do list was sharp — what must get done, and a separate list of nice-to-do if time allowed. I used plane rides the way I recommend…no one knows where you are, no one can reach you. Maximum focus.

And because of that focus, I still walked my dogs, made it to the gym, ate real meals, and watched The Pitt. I was fully present at every work event, every client meeting, every family visit.

I'm proud of how I navigated it. I hope you're proud of yourself, too.

I'm celebrating with sleep, vintage buying and selling, dinner with my husband, and dog snuggles.

What about you? Even if you changed just one small thing over these six weeks — celebrate. You deserve it.

Email me and tell me all about it.

Know someone navigating a demanding season at work? Share this blog article with them. They can subscribe here

Questions about focus or making the most of an intense stretch? Email me . I read every one.