Feeling All August-y?

Time to read: 45 seconds. It's August.

A client asked this week, "what's the deal with August?" She is having difficulty finding solid ground and if she's honest, she wants to sit on a porch and read a book. I'm hearing similar things from many clients this week.

So, what's the deal with August?

After 10 years of working with clients, here are my observations about August:

1. You're in-between which is disconcerting. It's no longer summer, and it's not yet fall. It's hard to know how to be. (If you're curious, check out the concept of liminal space.)
2. The engine is revving and you're not ready to drive off yet. You feel like you'll be ready to go soon. But not yet.
3. The air is filled with anticipation. Back to school. Back to the office? (who knows about that one anymore)
4. Fall is around the corner and there's a lot of uncertainty. Will your 3rd grader like her teacher? Will projects at the office increase? Will your family's schedule take off like a rocket? Will your senior get into college?
5. Add the Delta variant, international and national politics, and ugliness in the news and you have a recipe for stalling.

The good news is that the solution is simple.

Wait.

August will turn into September which becomes October. I don't get to guarantee much in my line of work, and I can guarantee this. When September rolls around, you'll be ready to go.

Happens every year.

Happy August.

#1 Mistake When Making a Change

Time to read: 47 seconds.

There’s a lot of movement these days. Clients getting promoted. People changing companies. Relocations. New jobs. New apartments. When you make a change, you move from one thing to another (duh).

In change, I see people make the same mistake over and over.

You move on too quickly.

In your haste and excitement to get to The New Thing, you forget to close The Old Thing.

The consequences are The Old Thing becomes sticky. It follows you. It clogs your energy. Think of people you hear still complaining about a job, apartment, or relationship they left years ago. Think of a job or relationship that you can’t seem to shake. That’s what sticky looks like.

Leave The Old Thing behind by doing these two simple things:

• Don’t leave before you’re gone. You mentally leave before you are actually gone. Stay present until you actually leave so you can enjoy your final days or feel your sad feelings.
• End well. Say good-bye to the people. Walk around the empty apartment. Share memories. Write notes. Say farewell to your cube. Mark the end with a short ritual or acknowledgement. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Do be conscious that “this moment is the end.”

When you allow yourself a good ending, you become more open and ready for the new beginning.

Enjoy your New Thing! (And write to tell me all about it. I love your stories.)

How're You Doing?

Time to read: Less than 1 minute.

I was talking to a colleague earlier this week, and she observed that there are, like, 16 crises going on at once. There's pandemic news. International news. The verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial. Feelings about returning to the office and school. Kids struggling academically. Kids struggling mentally. Then it's not like regular life events stop happening.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could say, "no thanks on the car trouble today. There's a pandemic."

I'm going to keep this short because it's a lot and your brain needs a rest. Here are two thoughts:

1. Have grace for yourself and others. You are carrying a lot. So are they. Be gentle and kind.
2. Take good care of yourself physically. Eat. Sleep. Rest. Walk. In an intense week, go back to the basics.

How are you doing? Feel free to email me. I always love hearing from you.

Love to you.

I Take Issue With Boundaries. Here's Why.

Time to read: maybe 2 minutes?

Hello Rebels!

Imagine you have a boss who sends emails on weekends. Or you volunteer for something and scope creep turns the one thing into 15 things that dominate your life. At this point, I hear clients say, "help me learn to set some boundaries."

Boundaries. Bleh.

Here's why:

Boundaries are inherently about a response to something outside yourself. The frame of reference is the thing - the boss, the volunteer job, the needy relative. Boundaries are about creating barriers, resistance, and building up defenses to deflect the intrusion. When you are operating in resistance to or in response to something, the something maintains the power and you block and tackle your way through. What I hate about this concept is that it robs you of your power and agency.

Try this on instead:

What if instead of boundaries, you have ownership?

You are the creator of your life and work. You make the choices. You get to decide what fits into your daily life and your vision of your future. Instead of blocking and tackling, let your purpose, energy and preferences drive what you will and won't do. You don't owe anyone a justification and your choices are simply that, your choices.

Here's how ownership could look:

• Your boss sends emails on the weekend. That's your boss's choice. If you don't want to email on the weekends, let your boss know that he can expect a reply on Monday. Simple. Clean. Clear. You can also decide to reply on the weekend if you'd like. The choice is yours, and simply own whatever you choose without complaining about your boss emailing on the weekend. (Hint: The complaining is a waste of your weekend.)
• You volunteer and the role grows and dominates your life. Decide the best use of your gifts. You are not obligated to say yes to 15 more things because you said yes to one. Choose to say yes or no and whatever you choose, own it.

Ownership requires you to:

• know what you want and take responsibility for it own your gifts, purpose and energy and make clear decisions about how to use them
• let go of the feeling that everything is on your shoulders be transparent and clear in your communication

Ultimately, ownership is clean, clear, simple and liberating.

Try on this perspective change and let me know what you think. I always love to hear from you.

When You Bump Into a Problem...

Time to read: still grooving - 5 seconds

Consider: There is no problem here.

What if this idea applied to everything?

Love to you,

Christina

Do You Lack Clarity?

Time to read: the best 5 seconds

You think you lack clarity.

Try this on: You're clear. What you don't have is permission.

Love to you,

Christina

Powerful Wisdom From the CR Pop-Up Cafe

Time to read: Time for a few more words. 45 second read.

There was a wealth of wisdom in last week's Corporate Rebel Pop-up Cafe. We talked about recovery and healing. The conversation was so good, I wanted to share it with you.

We've lived through a lot for the past few years, months and weeks. I was consulting with my favorite therapist yesterday and he said, "we are in a 2nd pandemic of mental health issues." Teens and young adults are collapsing. Adults are exhausted. I see it in my coaching clients. Therapists are full. You hear the call for healing on a national and personal level, but what does that mean for you?

The hive on the Corporate Rebel Pop-up Cafe shared what they know about recovery and healing from the challenging times in their lives. Here is their wisdom for you:

• Time: You have to give yourself time to recover and time to heal.
• The basics: Sleep, nutrition, movement, and quiet time (maybe meditation) are all crucial to recovery and healing.
• Individuality: Healing is an individual process. What works for you will be different than what works for your best friend.
• Feelings: You gotta feel 'em. Without drama or story. Simply feel your feelings. Even the despair.
• Compassion: Mostly for yourself. Be where you are without judgment or criticism that you "should" be doing better or "should" be farther along.
• Connection: Connect with others. Recovery and healing is better in relationship.
• Responsibility: You have choices. You choose your path and how you will treat others and yourself as you recover and heal: with anger? with love? with violence? with patience? You choose when to get help.
• Celebration: Celebrate your progress. Yesterday, I put on a dress. I noticed when I drove my car, I was focused in a way I haven't been for months. Those small wins are a cause for big celebration!

I'll put one final thought here: The two important first steps in recovery and healing are knowing that you need it, and giving yourself permission to put your energy toward healing, which can mean going quiet for a while or lowering the bar on "accomplishment" and "success," whatever those mean anyway.

I'd love to hear your wisdom about healing. Or your questions. Please email me and tell me what you're thinking. I always love hearing from you.

Not sure yet when the next Corporate Rebel Pop-up Cafe will be. Watch for it. I hope you can join. The conversations are always amazing and people leave feeling uplifted and calm.