Motivation Low?

Time to read: 1.07 minutes

Hey Rebels,

Last week, we talked about over-performance as a response to stress.

Today is "help, I can't get motivated" day.

We've established that we're living in stressful times. People have different responses to stress. That may even be true for the individuals who live under your roof. (Hello potential for conflict and more stress.) Or you may over-perform in some situations and under-perform in others. No judgment.

Uncertainty breeds stress, and stress breeds under-performance. (It also breeds over-performance which was the subject last week.)

Do these symptoms of under-performing feel familiar?

• Hiding
• Avoiding
• Becoming overwhelmed and freezing
• Numbing with substances, video games, Netflix
• Worried you'll make a mistake or say the wrong thing so you don't say or do anything at all
• Avoiding risks
• Not taking time for fun and joy

You can take simple steps to bust out of under-performing. Here are a few:

• Recognize when you have crossed the line from healthy rest and recuperation to hiding and avoiding. (Hint: Resting starts to become all night Netflix marathons.)
• Choose to rest and recharge. Sometimes a Netflix marathon is just what the doctor ordered. Make sure it's a choice, not a chance to hide.
• Take risks. Start small. Start with something that feels relatively easy and work up to bigger risks over time.
• Elevate the meaning and importance of your work. Focus on the big picture rather than the day-to-day details. When you are hooked into the importance of your work, it's easier to find motivation. (Remember: don't get seduced that "meaning" at work has to be grand like solving world hunger. Meaning can be as simple as creating something beautiful, the satisfaction of being part of a team, completing something, or helping your colleagues.)
• Get into action. Action breeds more action so take one small step. Do something that helps you move forward.

Under-performing holds you back from doing the work you are meant to do. We need you to show up and bring your gifts. It's going to take every single one of us to create the world we want.

I hope this helps.

With love,

Christina

P.S. Invite your friends and colleagues to join the fun by subscribing to the Corporate Rebel newsletter. Simply forward this blog and they can join here.

Working Too Much?

Time to read: 1 minute, 4 seconds

Hey Rebels,

Today is "help, I'm working too much but not as productive" day.

You face an uncertain future. The situation changes week-to-week, sometimes day-to-day under Covid-19. Some of the stress is global, and some is specific to your industry, workplace or family situation.

Uncertainty breeds stress, and stress breeds over-performing. (It also breeds under-performing, which is the subject for next week.)

Do these symptoms of over-performing feel familiar?

• Working constantly
• Not taking time for fun and joy
• Believing that if you work just a little more, you'll fix it, solve it, or find the answer
• Trying to look good to your superiors or colleagues
• Feeling exhausted
• Working a lot, but not feeling productive

"Hello, my name is Christina. I'm an over-performer." Let me rephrase that, thanks to 9 years of intensive personal and professional development I am a recovering over-performer so I have a few thoughts about what to do. In a nutshell, here's what I've learned:

• Recognize when you have crossed the line from productive and effective to over-performing. (Hint: You feel like your self-worth is wrapped up in your work. You start to feel resentful and exhausted. You are focused on looking good rather than being creative and serving.)


• Create structures to support breaks. Shut down your computer. Turn off your phone. Go out of town for the weekend and don't take your laptop. Chronic over-performers have to be forced to slow down and rest.


• Get clear about the difference between what's truly important in your work and the busy-work that makes you feel productive, but actually isn't. Do important work. Let the busy-work go.


• Unhook your sense of self-worth from your job. You are not single-handedly going to solve all the world's problems as much as you might like to. You are not a failure if you haven't yet stopped world hunger or systemic racism. Trust that you always know the next right step and that your future and career will unfold in the way it is supposed to.

Over-performing holds you back from doing the work you are meant to do as you get stuck in exhaustion and self-doubt. We need you. We need you to feel worthy and free so you can get about the important work of making the world the place you want it to be.

I hope that helps. Next week is for all you under-performers. Motivation, anyone?

Crushed Between Working and Parenting?

Time to read: 2 minutes of pure validation and relief

The blissful days of parenting little ones

This one is for you, parent-rebels.

(If you're not a parent, keep reading as you know parents).

You are in an untenable position. The systems in the USA are not set up to support working parents under the best of circumstances. Trying to homeschool and entertain young children while simultaneously doing your job is impossible. If you are a single parent, the situation is even worse.

My clients and friends with young children face constant interruptions, no daycare, no school, no camp, and no peace.

Smart writers are sounding the alarm about the impossible position for parents in the Covid-19 economy. Read Deb Perelman's article, "We are Being Crushed," in the NYT here. Her article will validate everything you are experiencing.

What are you supposed to do? I put together this list as a parent-specific supplement to The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please keep in mind that I am not an expert on the COVID19 virus, the data in your particular location, or your family's personal situation. Make prudent choices for you and your family.

Here's what I've seen help working parents:

1. Accept the situation. Being locked at home with your children is less-than-ideal. The possibility that school could be closed in the fall is sub-optimal. You have to accept the situation as it is. Liberate, maybe even lower, your expectations so you can get creative. (If school is closed in the fall, I'll be challenged to accept it. You can remind me in the fall that I gave you this stupid advice.)


2. Examine your priorities and assumptions about what it means to be the ideal employee (available at all hours, immediately responsive) and the ideal parent. "Ideal parenting" and "ideal working" clash. You are likely holding impossible standards. Make sure your actions align with your priorities. To understand more about the clash of priorities for working parents, read this.


3. Raise the alarm with your employer. For the Covid economy to work for working parents, companies will have to get creative. Starting early. Working late. Split shifts. Fridays off. Mondays off. Talk to your colleagues. Talk to your boss. Employers will have to make changes in expectations and structures if working parents are going to have any chance of success.


4. Let go of guilt that you are failing at work and failing as a parent. This situation is hard. Don't add self-doubt and self-criticism to the pile on. If your kids watches 6 hours of cartoons so you can get to meetings, oh well. (See #1)


5. Vote for candidates who will take seriously the kinds of leave and family-work policies that make parenting and working possible in the USA.


6. Structure your home life as best you can. Create a kid-free work zone. You need maximum focus and productivity when working with kids at home so be clear that your work space is off limits unless the house is on fire or someone is barfing. Be efficient and focused when you're working. This may mean no "nice-to-have" meetings, no extra chit-chat. It sucks, and it preserves precious time for your family.


7. Form community with other adults in your life as much as feels safe for you. Tag team parenting with your partner if you have one. Create child-care pods with neighbors who take turns taking kids to the park. Bring in grandparents. Hire a teenage nanny.


8. Turn work off and focus on your family. The temptation to work all the time when you're at home is great. Turn off your laptop and spend focused time with your kiddos. They will interrupt you less if they know they have your undivided attention at other times, and you need the break.


9. Did I mention vote?

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Here it is again, The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please share it liberally.

One Way to Release Pressure

Time to read: 42.5 little seconds

Hello rebels!

You all were incredibly generous with your thoughts and input. I'm going to spend the next few weeks writing about the things you told me are important to you. Let's get started...

Years ago, I met a woman who had gotten a Master's degree in English literature because she loved to read. As she tried to make a career out of literature, she said she killed the one thing she loved the most in the world. This story has stuck with me for 20+ years.

Many of you wrote to me saying that you don't find meaning in your job, especially with so many important issues facing our world right now. I hope that what I'm about to say relieves the pressure.

At the risk of contradicting last week's inspiring story of career despair to career purpose, this week I want you to have permission to let go of the idea that you have to have passion for your work.

What?! What about all those people who say "find your passion?"

I'm not a big fan of the "find your passion" school of career development.

Somewhere, someone decided that work has to be meaningful. That you have to work in your passion. That you must jump out of bed every day excited to go to work. Some of you get to work in your passion. Yay! For many of you, that expectation kills your ability to enjoy your job.

Expecting passion and excitement every day is a lot of pressure to put on yourself and your job. Trying to marry passion, excitement and your life's fulfillment with the mechanism for paying for electricity and saving for college is a tall order. It's ok if your job is simply a job, especially now with soaring unemployment. It's ok if your job is good enough or you like it because you like your colleagues.

The great thing about a job is that it supports your life. And your life can be filled with passion and excitement - for your children, activities, hobbies, and contributions to your community. (Find more of your passion for your life through the Rebels at Home Challenge.)

I'm a huge fan of joy, excitement and fulfillment. You may find you create more of those things when you stop expecting your job to provide them. What would it be like to let your job be good enough?

I hope that takes the pressure off.

With love,

Christina

From Career Despair to Wild Success

Time to read: 1.25 minutes

Katie's portrait of my essential worker

Photographer, Katie Howie, watched the bottom drop out of her portrait business during the stay-at-home order. As she watched her life's work disappear overnight, she sank into depression and worry. She told me, "I was worried out of my mind for everyone and everything. I cried daily... Things felt bleak."

Katie is a former neighbor and our family's beloved photographer. In March, she texted me to ask if I knew any essential workers. She had started a project called, "By a Thread: Pandemic Portraits" to document essential workers at their homes. Turns out, I did know an essential worker. My 15-year-old son works as a cashier in a grocery store.

Katie said she didn't want to do what other portrait photographers were doing so she waited. She said, "For about a month, I waited for inspiration. And then, it was like lightning. My inspiration came so fast it was crazy."

Since she started By a Thread, Katie has done 60 profiles and unexpectedly and amazingly, her project is featured in Minnesota Monthly's July/August issue. (See the article here.) She's considering public shows and a book. The project (and Katie's career) has taken on a life of its own.

I asked for Katie's permission to share this story with you, because it's a story of how despair led to creativity. How waiting and listening led to inspiration, and how a career took off without a plan.

I heard from some of you that you're having a hard time connecting to the meaning of what you do. Katie is the perfect example of how finding your purpose works.

She sat with her despair. She allowed her personal pain and worry to move her and inspire her to act. She started something with no idea where it would lead. She leaned into her unique gifts and talents. She took the next step and the next and now By a Thread has a huge impact.

The world of work is challenging right now. And, the creative possibilities are endless.

What might become true for you with a little waiting, listening and leaning into your unique gifts and talents?

With love,

Christina

P.S. Would it be fun to find some inspiration of your own this summer? The Rebels at Home Challenge is 8 days of short (3 minutes) video challenges designed to inspire and uplift you so you can relieve stress and create new opportunities in this strange and challenging situation. Sign up here to receive Day 1.