Time to read: 1 minute, 45 seconds. It's a long one, based on an article I wrote for the Rancho La Puerta newsletter
It’s been a rough two years. As many of us learned the hard way, humans are not meant to be isolated. We are social creatures. We live in communities. We depend on each other for physical and emotional support. During the pandemic, our external support structures were eliminated or reduced – religious organizations, school, workplaces, yoga studios, the list goes on. We got creative. We prioritized our relationships and decided who was worth another hour on Zoom.
The world is opening, and we are seeing each other again. Now is a great time to think about consciously crafting your support system.
I think of support systems in 6 categories. You’ll access each kind of support for different things and look to different people to provide them. Sometimes you'll pay for expertise and other times, you'll get help from friends, yourself, or even strangers.
Here are the 6 Elements of a Powerful Support System:
- Physical: You need people to help you carry boxes, cut your hair, and renovate a bathroom. You need physical support in the hospital or from your massage therapist. Some physical support will be intimate (a home-health nurse), and some will be casual (the technician who fixes your dishwasher). You can hire it (like movers) or receive it (like the person who holds the door when your arms are full of groceries).
- Advice: Sometimes you need an expert to tell you what to do - like an accountant for your taxes, an attorney for your estate plan, or a mentor to help you navigate company politics. Other times, you need friends to tell you how to handle a delicate social situation or a colleague to brainstorm a conversation with your VP.
- Emotional: When you're crying or you want to scream, you need people who will hold space for your feelings. The best emotional support never judges, doesn't give advice or solutions, and makes room for your messy humanness. You can hire emotional support like a therapist or coach or get it for free from family and friends.
- Deep personal support is best in the form of therapy or a coach. It's the kind of support that gets under your patterns, helps you heal old wounds and points you toward the truth in your choices. Sometimes deep support feels nurturing, other times it is uncomfortable. When done well, it leads to lasting freedom and peace.
- Spiritual: Spiritual support gives you answers to big questions, like meaning of life kind of stuff. It comes in seen forms like religious organizations, nature, therapists, coaches, and spiritual advisors. It also comes in forms you can't see like God, soul, angels, and spirit guides. A beautiful sunrise on a hike at The Ranch is spiritual support.
- Self: You are one of your best supports. You create structures and routines to care for your body and mind like sleep, nutrition, and exercise. You provide your own emotional support by having compassion for yourself through all of life's ups and downs. You take responsibility for your choices and care for yourself when things get hard.
Do you notice gaps in your support structure? Yay! Go fill them. Is your support structure strong and balanced? Yay! You're ready to ride life's waves.
One parting thought: You are a support structure for others,
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Have a great weekend!