Take Action!

Time to read: Action! Action! Action! 46.5 seconds

Today a client (let's call her Jane) told me she was waffling about sending a text to a neighbor to hang out after a frustrating day at work. She wanted the company and feared she was bothering her neighbor or asking for too much. She swallowed the second guessing, sent the text, got an instant "yes!" and enjoyed a glass of wine and her neighbor's companionship. She felt better after a hard day.

What I love about this story is the action orientation. Jane didn't analyze why she was afraid to send the text. She didn't succumb to not sending the text. She simply sent the text and got a result.

Action produces results. Guaranteed.

• You can plan to share a new idea with your boss. Sharing the idea will generate feedback, additional ideas, and energy. Even hearing "no" will generate energy.
• Joining a new club will instantly lead to new relationships and experiences.
• Applying for a job will create an updated resume, interview planning, and momentum even if you don't get the job.

Action leads to more action. On and on it goes.

So, make the call, book the trip, send the email, sign up for the class, say the thing. You'll be glad you did.

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Have a great weekend!

How To Look For What's Right

Time to read: 31 little right seconds

Indulge me. We got a new kitten and she's very right!

I'm going to get straight to the point today since y'all have full lives.

Instead of looking for what's wrong, look for what's right.

I mentioned last week that what you think and talk about shows what you care about. Change your attention, and you'll build joy and positivity. Try on these examples:

• Company reorganizing again? Try: Gives you and your colleagues something interesting to talk about….or….reorganization creates opportunities.
• Dog barks too much? Try: Your dog is lively and makes you get outside for walks….or….she's cute.
• Wrong food came to your table? Try: You get to try something new…or….How great that you know how to speak up for what you want.
• Tired of winter? Try: Cozy dinners. Reading by the fire. Skiing.
• Car accident? Try: Look for all the people who help….or…No one was injured.

Looking for what's right doesn't mean ignoring when you feel sad or when bad things happen. It means looking around to see all the things that are going right in any situation. This subtle shift in noticing will make a big difference.

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Have a great weekend, y'all!

3 Easy Ways To Cultivate Joy

Time to read: 56 seconds

Like this little beauty!

I love having a mail bag of questions and topics from all y'all. A number of you asked me to focus on joy, especially when there are so many things to worry about. So, today I'll show you the easy path to joy.

Worry and stress are easy. You only have to read the news or pay attention to the constant changes in the workplace to find things to keep you awake.

Humans are designed with a negativity bias. Our evolutionary interest dictates that a rustling in the bushes prompts us to think, "tiger!" and run. If we approach those bushes with curiosity and openness, we likely get chowed and that's our evolutionary end.

The good news? You are not stuck with your negativity bias. Humans also have choice and intention. You can cultivate positivity and joy.

Here are three easy ways to cultivate joy:

1. Look for it. Joy doesn't have to be huge gestures and momentous events. Find tiny moments. Sparkling snow. Delicious bread. A bird. Your first sip of coffee. You don't have to wait for vacation to find joy. It's around you right now, even people in Zoom calls say hilarious things or have a cool painting behind them.
2. Appreciation. Take every opportunity to offer appreciation - to your family, co-workers, the barista, your child's teacher. Make it your business to be the one who sends the appreciative email or notices what someone has done.
3. Gratitude. Do I dare go all cliche? Attitude of gratitude and all that. Gratitude matters. For real. Go to bed at night and wake up each morning thinking of one thing you're grateful for.

Put these three practices together, and you will have more joy. Works every time!

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Be well and have a good weekend.

Remove This Word And Change Your Life

Time to read: 1 minute, 15 seconds

I was talking with a client this week, and he said something like,"If I just control the information that goes out, things will go smoothly." Every time I hear this word I reply with, "let's make a tiiiiiny adjustment to one word."

The word is….

CONTROL

Boo. Hiss. Erase. Delete. Gone forever.

Control is an illusion. When you believe the illusion, control leads to inflexibility over possibility, outcome over process, reaction over responsibility, and separation over connection. Striving for control limits your view, feeds unhealthy competition, and is quite ineffective.

Instead of control, try one of these words: ownership, responsibility, influence, power.

Back to the example: What's different if you have ownership of the information that goes out? Or if you have influence over it? Ownership and influence give you power. They put you in the driver's seat. They recognize that you are responsible for your side of the fence and help you get clear about what's yours. Ownership and influence lift you from responsibility for what happens on the other side.

Deleting and replacing the word will help you, over time, delete and replace the energy of control and set you up to embrace the ease that brings.

Try it and then email me what happens!

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