Feeling All August-y?

Time to read: 45 seconds. It's August.

A client asked this week, "what's the deal with August?" She is having difficulty finding solid ground and if she's honest, she wants to sit on a porch and read a book. I'm hearing similar things from many clients this week.

So, what's the deal with August?

After 10 years of working with clients, here are my observations about August:

1. You're in-between which is disconcerting. It's no longer summer, and it's not yet fall. It's hard to know how to be. (If you're curious, check out the concept of liminal space.)
2. The engine is revving and you're not ready to drive off yet. You feel like you'll be ready to go soon. But not yet.
3. The air is filled with anticipation. Back to school. Back to the office? (who knows about that one anymore)
4. Fall is around the corner and there's a lot of uncertainty. Will your 3rd grader like her teacher? Will projects at the office increase? Will your family's schedule take off like a rocket? Will your senior get into college?
5. Add the Delta variant, international and national politics, and ugliness in the news and you have a recipe for stalling.

The good news is that the solution is simple.

Wait.

August will turn into September which becomes October. I don't get to guarantee much in my line of work, and I can guarantee this. When September rolls around, you'll be ready to go.

Happens every year.

Happy August.

Something Beautiful and Thought-Provoking

Time to read: 1.5 minutes

I belong to a writing group and last month one of my friends, Patty Walbillig, wrote something so beautiful I asked her if I could share it with all of you. The world can be a hard place sometimes and her piece was full of hope and love. Enjoy!

July 13, 2021

Already, Rose and Margie have arrived and departed. A whirl wind of activity in the last two weeks and so much fun: days at the cabin, a trip to Brainerd, a birthday party at Heather’s house, and Teddy Bear Park. All the effort was rewarded, and all the worry was for nothing. I can’t, God can, I’ll let him (Al-Anon).

With great gobs of gratitude, I reflect not on single events but on the overall existence of my immediate and extended family. The unique and extraordinary personalities and intellect of those who I claim as my people. And then I consider a world full of such people and such connections.

At which point I begin to ponder why? Why are we in this place and why have we connected? What creates those connections beyond the biology of reproduction?

When I ponder, with no science behind my thoughts, I think that there must be an order to the way we come together. I don’t love my people with so much of my heart only because we are related closely, distantly, or indirectly. I think some of us have existed closely connecting spiritually for many lives. Our time together cannot be as brief as one lifetime.

At this moment, I raise up my eyes from my page and bring into focus: lush green trees and pale blue sky, I hear the singing birds, and feel a cool dry breeze, and observe volumes of traffic stacking up. The lovely gifts we receive, the urgency of life needed to exist, a complex bio that maybe surpasses the original plan.

I think we humans, far from messing up, have done amazingly well to exist at all. Despite all the landmines that continue to appear – out of nowhere – things we could not imagine. Despite all the worry, that happens in the darkest of night, in the darkest rooms, in the darkest corners of our minds, the real day dawns, no matter what. No matter our fears, real or imagined, no matter what took place in those dark corners, the real day dawns. Trees grow and birds sing. The car starts and the construction begins. It’s all simply amazing, and I continue to just ponder why.

#1 Mistake When Making a Change

Time to read: 47 seconds.

There’s a lot of movement these days. Clients getting promoted. People changing companies. Relocations. New jobs. New apartments. When you make a change, you move from one thing to another (duh).

In change, I see people make the same mistake over and over.

You move on too quickly.

In your haste and excitement to get to The New Thing, you forget to close The Old Thing.

The consequences are The Old Thing becomes sticky. It follows you. It clogs your energy. Think of people you hear still complaining about a job, apartment, or relationship they left years ago. Think of a job or relationship that you can’t seem to shake. That’s what sticky looks like.

Leave The Old Thing behind by doing these two simple things:

• Don’t leave before you’re gone. You mentally leave before you are actually gone. Stay present until you actually leave so you can enjoy your final days or feel your sad feelings.
• End well. Say good-bye to the people. Walk around the empty apartment. Share memories. Write notes. Say farewell to your cube. Mark the end with a short ritual or acknowledgement. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Do be conscious that “this moment is the end.”

When you allow yourself a good ending, you become more open and ready for the new beginning.

Enjoy your New Thing! (And write to tell me all about it. I love your stories.)

3 Reasons to Clean Up Your Messes

Time to read: Less than one minute. Time to clean up your mess? Depends on the size.

Let's just say that the other day, I wasn't my best. I don't know why, but there's something about the vet that pokes my buttons. It's not the actual vet, it's the processes at the vet. It's weird because I'm usually so easy... but I digress. That's not the point.

I became irritated and the poor receptionist who was trying to help me took the brunt. It wasn't my finest hour, and my response was very human. We humans mess up. And when we do, we humans have a responsibility to clean it up.

There are three reasons to clean up your messes - big and small.

1. It's the right thing to do, especially when you've hurt someone. Cleaning up your messes matters for other people.
2. Lingering messes are sticky and the guilt / sadness / justification / defensiveness (choose your poison) sticks to you. Cleaning up your messes matters for you.
3. The energy you put into the world matters so let that energy be honest and true, even when it's hard. Cleaning up your messes matters to our world.

I called the receptionist and apologized. I was nervous. And the 2 minutes it took to take responsibility and be forgiven made all the difference for both of us.

What mess is sticking to you and what can you do today to clean it up?

Email me here if you'd like to consider offering the 90-Minute Return to the Office live event with me and Anne. It's the easiest path to avoiding conflict and messes that need to be cleaned up.