Practices That Change The World #3

Time to read: 56 seconds

My daughter and I made this Yule Log. We really did. So proud.

In a conversation with a friend last week, I gave our family's winter break a B-. Moments were an A+ and other times definitely a D. On balance, a B- seemed about right.

I felt fine with this assessment, and the thought continued to roll around in my head. Then I realized, I was measuring the break from the standpoint of comfort and joy. However, if I looked at our break from the standpoint of growth, learning and connection, it was an A+++++.

Which brings me to Changing the World Practice #3.

Shift the lens

Consider these examples:

  • You judge yourself harshly for the resentment you felt when the work of hosting fell to you. Shift the lens: Drop the resentment and see the situation as a lesson in setting boundaries and owning your preferences.
  • A work colleague didn't make your request a priority. Now you're angry and behind in a project. Shift the lens: Your colleague also has a full plate of conflicting priorities and is doing the best they can. This is an opportunity for you to grow yourself as someone who speaks up while maintaining connection.
  • Someone cut you off in traffic, and you want to flip them off. Shift the lens: You have no idea what's happening in that person's life. They could be racing to the hospital or late for a job interview after months of unemployment. It's not worth it to put one ounce of energy into things that happen in traffic.

It's so easy to slip into blame and judgment of yourself and others. When you shift your lens, a whole new world of possibilities opens up and your days get much easier.

Thoughts? Comments? Email me here I love to hear from you.

 

Practices That Change The World #2

Time to read: It's a long one. A little over a minute and worth every second (if I may say so myself). :-)

Look! Last week's image applies again! Notice the second rung from the bottom.

I truly believe the Gandhi quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Talking about and wishing for what you want out there can only be accomplished by creating those exact same things in here.

  • If you want more peace then how to create peace in yourself and your relationships?
  • If you want more understanding, how do you become someone who understands?
  • If you want integrity, then you must be impeccable and seek repair when you, inevitably, are not (because you're human, after all).

Which brings me to Changing the World Practice #2.

Responsibility

This is not your parents' "you must pay your bills" kind of responsibility. Responsibility means owning your life. Owning that you have created it all - the good, the bad, the ugly. One trick for taking responsibility is to do it without self-criticism and judgment. It's not about blaming yourself or others when things are hard. Here's an example:

Let's say you sailed through college and launched yourself into a career that felt pretty good at first. Then 10-years in you start to feel dissatisfied. Maybe you're not getting the promotions you want. Maybe you dread going to work. Maybe it all feels overwhelming, and you wonder if you need to quit. You will not find your answer by blaming your boss or the terrible corporate culture or by complaining constantly to your friends or beating yourself up for wasting time. (I know cuz I did this for 2 years.)

The answer will come from getting curious about yourself - What motivated you? (Pleasing others? Striving for recognition?) Where did you bypass your inner wisdom? How do you betray yourself and your own needs? What do you actually want for you life? How do you build the courage to create it?

This is what real responsibility looks like.

Imagine a world where EVERYONE takes responsibility for themselves. Wow. I'd like to live there.

You're the best!

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Practices I've Seen Change the World For My Clients

Time to read: Less than 2 minutes

Notice the bottom rung on this cool pyramid I found in a therapist's office

Welcome back everyone! I hope you had a wonderful break, however you celebrate and however you were able to rest.

I thought about a lot of things over the holidays. In no particular order: cults (nothing says Christmas like The Vow), meditation, and how to change the world. This might seem like a weird little list and in fact, there are threads: being human, vulnerability, choices, and the passion that I know you all share for making the world a better place.

So, for a few weeks, I will share my best thinking on the practices that in my 12 years as a coach, I've seen change the world for my clients.

Why not start 2023 with a BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious, Goal)?

As is well established, you are powerful. What you put into your workplace, family and community makes a difference every.single.day. It matters. You matter. The things you do, who you are, and the choices you make ripple out. So, here is the first one:

Reflect

Reflection is the first step toward self-awareness. Without reflection, you're driving in the dark with no map. When you see things >as they are - the good, the bad, the ugly, you are able to decide what to keep, what must go, and what you want to change. Reflection is the foundation for consciousness and intention.

So, in these dark days of winter (for those of you who are in the northern hemisphere), consider "reflect" this week.

And if you want to email me to tell me your thoughts about changing the world or stories of how you're doing it in your corner of the universe, email me here. I always love to hear from you.

Happy New Year!