I've been with my coach in San Francisco this week wrestling with what's next in 2016. I had big decisions to make that would potentially open and close significant doors in my business and life.
You know what I’m talking about. Those constant internal dialogues (and for us extroverts, constant external dialogues – thank you long suffering Steve and friends) that sound like this,
- “What if I make the wrong choice?”
- “What if I close the door that was my path to success?”
- “What if my choice fails?”
- “I know, I’ll figure out a way to cram it all in and not make a choice at all!”
You get what I’m saying, right? (Please say you do so I feel normal.) I was causing myself a great deal of stress and anxiety, like stomach hurting, obsessing, waking up early stress. Can you relate, here?
Then my coach asked me a couple of excellent questions that will help you, too. (And duh, I’m a coach. I ask people these questions all the time. I was the cobbler’s child who had no shoes. Geez.)
- What am I making these decisions mean?
- Are those meanings even true (like am I really closing a door or damaging a relationship)?
- What would I choose if I gave myself full permission to choose what I want?
And if that wasn’t enough, she landed a kicker that I want to share with you – the words that brought the lightning bolt of clarity down upon my head:
“It sounds like you are making fear-based decisions.”
Shazaam! Crack! Boom! Shit. (Sorry, Sandy. I promise I don’t swear in all my newsletters).
I was looking at these decisions through a lens of scarcity, loss and what I was going to miss. Once I saw that, I shifted to looking at what values I was honoring, the abundance I want for my life, and what feels right in my soul. As soon as I saw that truth, I was like, done. Decisions made. Stress gone.
You make big and small decisions every day. I invite you to look at your choices through the lens of your values, abundance and what’s right with your soul. You’ll find clarity and peace. And goodness knows, the world needs more of both.
(If you’re curious what I decided, read the P.S. below).
I hope that helps.
P.S. I said no to a big opportunity in order to maintain focus on my two priorities: my coaching business and my family. I rehired my coach for next year and by doing so, made a huge investment in my priorities (see first decision). I cancelled a trip to CA that would have been a blast and built great relationships in order to honor my daughter’s request for me to stay home and witness her stretching her wings on a stage at her school’s Martin Luther King performance (refer back to my priorities).