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More false emotions. Today is blame!
You know this one, especially how it feels when you are blamed.
Blame can be obvious - like when you blame the IT department for the slip in the deadline. Or blame can be more subtle - like blaming traffic when you're late for an appointment.
Regardless of how you slice it, blame creates tension and wastes energy in your workplace and home.
Blame is a false emotion. It is a handy mechanism you use to hide from responsibility. You are the author of your life. You create it all. (Yay ownership!) So, when you find yourself stuck blaming others (your mother, your boss, the government, the neighbor), do these things:
- Ask yourself. What am I trying not to be responsible for? What am I trying to get away with?
- Be brave. Responsibility takes courage. It's vulnerable to look deeper and find your ownership.
- Take responsibility. This is the action step. What do you need to do to be transparent, honest with yourself and perhaps change a few things.
Here is an example:
You are late for an appointment because traffic was insane. You blame traffic for your lateness. Without any self-judgment or a blame pile-on (of yourself), look at the situation. Perhaps you were dragging your feet because you didn't want to go. Or maybe you let your overwhelm prevent you from properly planning the time it would take to get there. Places to consider taking responsibility: Perhaps you said yes to something when you wanted to say no. Perhaps you have let your schedule get away from you. What can you do to take responsibility for those things? What can you change?
(In fact, this example is happening to me right now. I put off writing this newsletter until this morning. I have a tea date with a friend and I'm going to be late. My responsibility? I'm making a choice to do this newsletter at the expense of being on time. I will be honest with her about what happened and apologize. I'll vow to stick with my goal in the future to write my newsletter by Tuesday night. See how this works?)
Next week: self-pity.
Remember: Getting honest with yourself about the shield of false emotions will free your time and energy for better relationships and more productivity! It's worth the effort to build your awareness and take ownership.
You've got this!
With rebel love,
Christina
P.S. Know someone who loves to blame? Oh yes. This is a popular one. Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.
P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.