Hitting a Wall? What Is Going On?

Time to read: short. You're tired and don't need more things to do.

Like this one

About a week ago, I hit a wall... unmotivated, exhausted, crabby, unproductive, discouraged, and frustrated wall.

My family ate leftovers and take out. Emails went unanswered. Sleep was elusive. I could handle about one decision a day and if your need for my attention was the second or third decision that day, sorry, you'd have to wait till tomorrow.

Can you relate?

In the first few months of this pandemic, I was on fire. New programs for all of you. Cooking. Gardening. Reading. A new fish tank. Zoom calls. A few weeks ago, I published a list for the Corporate Rebel Masters (an ongoing community of people who have graduated from coaching) of the things I do to fill my energy bucket. It was an impressive and true list. If there is such a thing as winning in this pandemic, I was doing it. (Ha. My life's work to learn that my value isn't my accomplishments was apparent even in how I handle a pandemic. Can't a girl get a break?)

A few days ago, I couldn't imagine doing any of those things. Friends started calling in tears. Clients talked about low motivation and exhaustion. I was barely keeping up with the basics.

I'm eternally optimistic. I can see the silver lining in just about any cloud. A friend commented that it was disconcerting to see me be so dark when she counts on me for light.

What the heck is going on? I feared something was truly wrong with me that I wasn't coping better.

Then my friend sent this article. The term is "surge capacity." As you'll see from the psychological research the author cites, we humans are programmed to handle crises. We have resilience that enables us to handle acute stress and to surge our energy to meet it. However, that capacity is meant to be short term. We are not mentally programmed to manage a crisis that continues for months or even years.

We "surged," and now we're depleted.

Having a name for what happened to me was a great relief. I slept well last night and today, I can handle two decisions.

We're tired, folks. It's been a long road with no end in sight.

For the next few weeks, I am going to talk about how to recover and create resilience in new ways. Less accomplishment. More energy. You can get through this. You just need a different toolbox.

I'll be recovering right along with you. Please hit reply to this email and tell me how you're doing. If you're still riding high with energy, awesome. I'd love to hear what's working.

And stay tuned. I'm excited for something I have in store for you. I'll be ready to share next week.

With love,

Christina

P.S. A cool opportunity is coming next week. Keep your eyes open!

You Can't Afford Not to Deal With the Stress

Time to read: one second less than one minute

Hey rebels!

Many of you replied that you are seeing a lot of stress in your teams or that your leadership doesn't seem to get how stressful life and work are right now (kids at home, furloughs, economic uncertainty, just to name a few).

Here's a story to illustrate:

One of my clients is struggling to support two stressed leaders who have devolved into conflict. The conflict led a potential client to walk away. She made the case to her leadership that these two folks need support to resolve the hurt feelings and develop the skills to move forward productively for the company. The company is afraid to spend the money right now.

Sound familiar?

I have a strong opinion on the subject. Companies are made of humans. Humans have feelings. Humans have human-sized capacity. You can't push people indefinitely or leave them with unresolved stress and conflict and expect them to perform their best. Hoping stress and conflict will go away on its own is magical thinking. When your employees are stressed, choosing to put off addressing the stress because you "can't afford it" is narrow, short-term thinking.

Your stressed employees are less productive. They are unable to be magnetic with customers and clients and may cost you business. They are less creative and innovative at a time when you need them to be MORE creative and innovative.

One angry customer. One lost contract. One employee who quits. Hundreds of employees who can't focus. These cost the company more than any coach or class. You can't afford not to address the stress.

You gotta take care of those humans. When you do, your employees are grateful. They become loyal. They are more productive. They are happier. It's a win-win for the company and for the humans.

These are my words.

With love,

Christina

P.S. Do you need to make a case to your leadership that your team needs support to manage their stress? Email this article to them then reach out anytime to see how I might help.

Working Too Much?

Time to read: 1 minute, 4 seconds

Hey Rebels,

Today is "help, I'm working too much but not as productive" day.

You face an uncertain future. The situation changes week-to-week, sometimes day-to-day under Covid-19. Some of the stress is global, and some is specific to your industry, workplace or family situation.

Uncertainty breeds stress, and stress breeds over-performing. (It also breeds under-performing, which is the subject for next week.)

Do these symptoms of over-performing feel familiar?

• Working constantly
• Not taking time for fun and joy
• Believing that if you work just a little more, you'll fix it, solve it, or find the answer
• Trying to look good to your superiors or colleagues
• Feeling exhausted
• Working a lot, but not feeling productive

"Hello, my name is Christina. I'm an over-performer." Let me rephrase that, thanks to 9 years of intensive personal and professional development I am a recovering over-performer so I have a few thoughts about what to do. In a nutshell, here's what I've learned:

• Recognize when you have crossed the line from productive and effective to over-performing. (Hint: You feel like your self-worth is wrapped up in your work. You start to feel resentful and exhausted. You are focused on looking good rather than being creative and serving.)


• Create structures to support breaks. Shut down your computer. Turn off your phone. Go out of town for the weekend and don't take your laptop. Chronic over-performers have to be forced to slow down and rest.


• Get clear about the difference between what's truly important in your work and the busy-work that makes you feel productive, but actually isn't. Do important work. Let the busy-work go.


• Unhook your sense of self-worth from your job. You are not single-handedly going to solve all the world's problems as much as you might like to. You are not a failure if you haven't yet stopped world hunger or systemic racism. Trust that you always know the next right step and that your future and career will unfold in the way it is supposed to.

Over-performing holds you back from doing the work you are meant to do as you get stuck in exhaustion and self-doubt. We need you. We need you to feel worthy and free so you can get about the important work of making the world the place you want it to be.

I hope that helps. Next week is for all you under-performers. Motivation, anyone?

Help! Working From Home is Killing My Productivity! 8 Tips to Keep You On Track

Reading this newsletter? 1.5 minutes Getting more done today? Priceless

My kitchen table office complete with seed packets, mail, and other sundry distractions

Today in the Corporate Rebel Daily, folks described how hard it is to stay productive while working from home in uncertain times. This group works across the country, in different industries, and is a font of practical and meaningful suggestions.

With their permission, here is wisdom from the hive:

1. Move your body: Regular exercise, yoga, dog walks - anything that gets your blood flowing. It doesn't have to be fancy or strenuous.


2. Change the scenery: Work in a new room in your house, go for a drive, work outside, or in bed. Change your perspective to keep yourself creative.


3. Get outside: Nature makes all the difference. As one person put it, "You can't be down when you're watching birds at the bird feeder."


4. Feel your feelings: If you're exhausted, feeling lost or find yourself staring unproductively at the same spreadsheet, your systems are likely clogged with unexpressed emotion. Have a good cry. Rage in your basement. Welcome your fear. The goal is to experience your feelings. Don't empower them or let them run your day.


5. Lower the bar: As one Daily participant put it, "I used to have a list of 10 things to do to feel good about my day. Now if I get my top 1-2 things done, I feel great." For many reasons (mental load, kids at home, systems issues) you will not get as much done working from home. That's ok.


6. Structure a routine: And make sure it includes lots of breaks. Nothing will kill your focus like back-to-back Zoom meetings. One Daily-er said she blocks work time on her calendar as no-Zoom zones. Another person takes 3 walks a day with his wife and dogs.


7. Take advantage of your best work hours: If you're a night owl, do your projects at night. If you're most creative first thing in the morning, take advantage of that. If you come alive at 2:00, save your most important work for the afternoon.


8. Strike while the iron is hot: When you feel motivated to work, work! (with appropriate breaks) Then when you feel done, walk away. Acknowledge when you've done enough.

Whew. That's a long list. It's 6:00 pm and I'm turning into a "safe-at-home" pumpkin. Writing this took the last ounce of my energy for today. I've done enough.

You have, too.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. People report that they love these free resources. In fact, my mother-in-law in a different state received the Rebels at Home Challenge from her financial planner who I don't know. Please share them with all the people you know.

1. Rebels at Home Challenge This challenge is a series of eight 3-minute daily video exercises to uplift you and help you find your place in this global pandemic. And it will give you something new to talk about at your next Zoom happy hour. Sign up here.

2. The Unconventional Guide to Working from Home: This is a downloadable pdf of practical tips and big picture strategies to help you be efficient, focused and effective at home. Click to download the pdf here.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Do This Instead...

Time to read: 1:08.57 - I guess I could just say 1:09 but 1:08.57 sounds more scientific.

Find the magic

You awake in the night, worried about the next day. You feel behind before your first cup of coffee. The more you do, the longer your to-do list seems to get. That's overwhelm. You're trying to fit 10 pounds of stuff into a 5 pound bag and feel powerless to do anything about it. Sound familiar?

There's good news.

Overwhelm is a false emotion, which means that overwhelm is something you throw up as a shield in front of your true emotions to "protect" yourself from the discomfort of your real feelings. The bad news is that overwhelm keeps you spinning with no end in sight.

There's an easy (although not always comfortable) way out. Here's the prescription to manage your overwhelm:

1. Feel the feelings. Underneath the false emotion of overwhelm usually lies a martyr, the one who feels like YOU have to do it all. The martyr feels unappreciated. Unrecognized. Put-upon. When you feel the martyr, look underneath. You might find rage, jealousy, maybe even loneliness. Peek behind the overwhelm to find your true feeling and feel them instead.
2. Leverage the other side of martyr. On the flip side of martyr is love and magic. When you feel like the world is on YOUR shoulders, look for what you love. Look for the best expression of you. Look for the magic you bring to the people in your life and do more of that instead.

Here's an example: Let's say you feel like you are always the one to make social arrangements. You invite people to lunch. You make the dinner reservations. You resent that your friends and colleagues never seem to initiate. (Hello, martyr!) Perhaps what you feel is lonely. Maybe even pissed that no one else makes things happen. Pause. Feel the loneliness and anger. Then lean into the love you feel for your friends and colleagues, the fun you have when hanging out with them, and your magic as a connector of people. Then you can give your gift freely without the burden of overwhelm.

Without all that stinky energy, you'll have more time and more fun. You'll likely get a lot more done, too.

In coming weeks, I'll talk about the false emotions of blame, self-pity, and guilt. By March, you'll be free!

It's an honor to be in your in-box each week. Have a great weekend!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who suffers from overwhelm? Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.

P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.

How To Get Stuff Done, Fast

Time to read: less than one minute because you have s*$% to do!

Imperfection at its finest.

Hello rebels!

To say that the past couple of weeks have been slammed would be an understatement. See if any of this sounds familiar to you...

• My children are off for the summer. Bye-bye routine. Hello daily unpredictability and chaos.
• I have daily client calls and meetings and have to take some of them from my bedroom because of see #1.
• We're taking a trip next week so everything has gotten crammed into this week.
• My BFF and I are launching a project for y'all in August and spent yesterday shooting videos.
• A volunteer job requires hours of emails and organizing.
• There's always a dose of interpersonal drama that sucks time and energy when you work with other people.
• Then there's just regular life: showering, walking the dog, making food, cleaning.

Can you relate?

In weeks like this, the name of the game is "get s#*$ done."

So, how do you get your s*@# done with quality, efficiency and speed?

Keep this one simple moto in mind:

Completion over perfection.

In shooting the videos, Anne and I stumbled over our words sometimes. Did we shoot each video 10 times to get it perfect? NO! We declared our stumbling charming and human and moved to the next video.

I usually have this newsletter written by Tuesday afternoon. Here it is, Thursday morning, and I'm slamming it out before my children wake up. Am I beating myself up for not making my internal deadline or considering letting it go this once? NO. I woke up, chose a topic, and started writing.

Be thoughtful. Do good work. Meet your deadlines (or communicate well if you won't). Don't spend hours dotting every "i" and crossing every "t." Your 80% is good enough. Otherwise, perfection will make you insane. We're not fans of insanity here at the Corporate Rebel.

Get 'er done and move on.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Do you know someone who gets stuck in perfection and doesn't complete stuff efficiently, or at all? Share this article with them and they can sign up to join us here.

The Biggest Lie You've Been Told

Time to read: Less than one minute

Dear Rebels,

When you were young, did you dream of your future? Maybe a job that earned a good living. A family. Time to pursue your passions and interests. Travel. Then, once you got that job, you poured yourself into it with gusto (or not). You played volleyball after work. You took painting classes or sang in a choir. You slept in on weekends and had dinner regularly with friends.

Then maybe you committed to a partner. Perhaps you built a family. You got promoted or changed jobs or went back to school. Your parents got older. Maybe you bought a house. Life got more complex and even though it happened over years, it seems like overnight you became exhausted, overwhelmed, and focused on life as a checklist of transactions. You used to feel like you had it all together and now balls are dropping, friends are a distant memory, exercise was first to go, and the "few tips" you've tried to regain control lasted all of a minute before everything snapped back to the relentless new "normal."

Does some version of this sound familiar?

I grew up in the 1980s when young people were fed the biggest lie of all time.

The lie?

You can have it all.

It's total crap.

Also total crap is the feeling that there is something wrong with you if you can't manage it all.

A wise mentor once said to me, "You can have anything. You just can't have everything."

Cue one of my favorite themes: Choices.

You get to choose your priorities. When you're trying to stuff 15 pounds of life into a 5 pound bag, you get to choose what to let go, what is non-negotiable, what can wait, and what you'll prioritize.

Stop beating yourself up for not being able to manage it all. No one can. It's a lie.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who needs to let go of the lie? Send them here to find relief.