My ugly story and what you can learn from it

Estimated read time: An entertaining and real 1.75 minutes.

Photo of my brain on fear, courtesy of Anne Lippin.

I hired a coach this year to stretch me in my business. In our first meeting, she did exactly what I asked her to do. She stretched me. How did I respond?

I freaked out.

This wasn’t just a little bitty, genteel lady freak out, either. It was like my vital organs were going to fall out of my body. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t work. I was thinking about giving up the whole coaching gig for a job at Whole Foods.

I was in a bad way and even as I laid on my couch crying to my friends, I was thinking of you and hoping to glean some redeeming value from my misery. Here's the value:

When you stretch yourself – you go for the big promotion, you take on the leadership role, you say the risky thing in a meeting, you hire a coach – you are going to feel afraid. If you’re not afraid, you’re not stretching.

I imagine you’re thinking, “Great. You’re telling me I have to feel like my insides are going to fall out?”

Yup. That’s exactly right. If you want to go big, you will be afraid sometimes and fear shows up in your body before your head can catch up. That’s a fact. The good news is there is a lot you can do about it.

Here are my hot tips, hard won from the couch:

1. Having periods of doubt and fear are part of the journey. A vital part of the journey. Through them you learn valuable things about yourself, develop more capacity, and know what it's like later to feel great!
2. Recognize your process. When faced with fear, some of my clients get overly analytical, apathetic, or avoidant. Recognize if panic (my favorite!) is a place you stop on your way to clarity and action. When your process is familiar, you can celebrate the freak out and know it’s an important stepping stone to your success.
3. Remember that you will not be stuck here forever. As your self awareness grows, you’ll be stuck in fear less often and for shorter periods of time.
4. Have your self care plan ready to go at all times. Mine involves a book, the couch, and my dog. Oh, and calling a bunch of friends. And meditating. And crying.

It’s not about preventing the freak out which is a good thing as that's impossible. It’s about recovering from it. Fear is a sign of growth. What you need is awareness, a self-care strategy, and you're ready to go.

Be afraid and keep going!

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

How to take control of your day with your first cup of coffee

Estimated read time: 1 minute 21 seconds

The actual cup of tea for this morning's ritual

It’s 6:15. I’m up early to write to you.

One of the great pleasures of my day is my first cup of tea. Warm and comfy, it gently propels me. If my morning is rushed, and I don’t get that cup of tea, things feel off.

Before you read further, consider the one simple pleasure that establishes your day. That thing you miss when you feel overwhelmed or rushed or out of control. That thing is the beginning of your morning ritual.

The most successful business people, entrepreneurs and spiritual teachers have morning rituals. A morning ritual grounds you in you before the world bombards you with its needs, criticisms, and demands. It’s vital to your productivity, happiness, and leadership.

If you’re wondering what’s involved in a morning ritual and thinking...

...OMG, I don't have time to do this while getting kids to school, showering, ironing (ok – do any of you really iron anymore?), cramming in a piece of toast, and preparing for that big presentation... take a deep breath...

...you have time. You have 10 minutes to ground your energy and set your intention. That presentation will be more successful if you do.

Here’s a list of elements to try. Mix and match 2-3 things into a repeatable pattern to start your day.

1. Mindfulness: meditation, prayer, sitting in silence at your kitchen table. (I’ll write more about meditation later because it’s so, so important.)
2. Movement: yoga, stretching, exercise, walking in nature, wandering your garden
3. Writing: journaling, creative writing
4. Reading: a book, the newspaper, an inspirational passage
5. Intention setting: choose a word or phrase to guide your day
6. For all you rebelicious rule breakers out there who are getting creative, these things do not count: checking email, yelling at your kids, fighting with your partner, ordering things on Amazon, cramming in the work you didn't get done the night before, cleaning, checking Facebook

If you read about people like Deepak Chopra, you’ll see morning rituals that include 2 hours of meditation. Although that’s great, that’s not for mortals like us. On an A+ morning, I run a mile, drink tea and meditate for 15 minutes. On a B morning I run ormediate. A C- morning only has tea.

You can do this, You really can.

Christina