Time to read:
When you feel like all the work is on your shoulders and your to-do list is 5 pages long, perhaps you are being a martyr. If you feel resentful about any aspect of your holiday (Why is everyone always at my house? Why am I in the kitchen when everyone else is watching football?), you are definitely being a martyr.
Ouch. That word can be hard to absorb. (I don't know anyone who ever feels like a martyr. Nope. No one around here.)
There's good news, though!
When you see yourself sacrificing your own peace and joy for the sake of performing, looking good, proving something, or maintaining control, you have taken the first step toward changing it.
Here are 3 ways to drop the martyr and have more fun this holiday.
- Ask for help. Ask other people to step in and take over some of the plans. This, of course, means....
- Relinquish control. Let other people contribute in their own ways, even if that's messy or not the way you'd do it. There is no rule about a "perfect" holiday. What people remember is the connection and fun so release the pressure on yourself and let some balls drop if necessary.
- Martyr is the wounded aspect of the Magician. So, when you feel like a martyr, where can you instead lean into what's magic about you? Maybe you hate cooking and love setting a beautiful table. Let other people cook and lean into your love of beauty. If no one wants to decorate the tree with you, instead of pressuring people (martyr), put on some music and enjoy your beautiful tree (magician).
The minute you feel even a whiff of resentment, ask yourself what you need to do for yourself (not what can you demand from others) to bring yourself back into alignment with YOU. It may involve redesigning the way you do your holidays so you have more fun. And guess what, when you have more fun, so will those around you!
Here's to ease in your holidays!