Accepting accolades. It's hard. Here's how.

Estimated read time: 2 minutes.

An award proudly displayed in our house!

In two sessions today, clients talked about being uncomfortable about being recognized, and when something comes up twice in one day, it's in the air and goes right into a newsletter (with client permission, of course).

You've heard the adage, "it is better to give than to receive." Giving is great. Of course it is. And this adage makes the receiving part sound "less-than" or worse than the giving part. We've grown up in a culture that has taught us to be uncomfortable with receiving, teaching us that we're not worthy of the praise and recognition we deserve. Boo. Hiss.

Here are the two client stories to illustrate the point:

One of my clients received a 12% pay raise. Twelve, amazing percent! Money is one of the ways that organizations show love, and this guy got a giant, hand-delivered care package covered in corporate hearts! Know what he said? "It kinda freaked me out because now I wonder what I have to do next."

The other client was named "Employee of the Month." Not for her department, not for her division, but for her entire center of 2500 people! Know what she did? She emailed the decision makers and told them they must have made a mistake and then told me that she really didn't work that hard and that other people deserved it more.

Good thing they both have a coach to set them straight.

Are you thinking, "wow, these people are amazing. They deserve their accolades. But not me?" Perhaps you relate to one of these popular ways to deflect recognition and praise:

• ignoring it
• skip past it
• turning it into praise for other people
• denying it
• finding all kinds of smart reasons why it isn't true

You deserve the praise you receive, too. Here are some tips to help you gracefully receive kudos, awards, and compliments:

1. Practice abundance thinking. There is room in this world and in your workplace for every person to shine bright and be amazing. Praise and recognition is not a rare commodity. Everyone can have some!
2. Don't compare yourself to others. Accolades for you doesn't mean diddly about other people. It's just about you.
3. Enjoy your moment. Stop for a moment to acknowledge what you did well and let yourself bask in that glow.
4. Celebrate! Mark this great event with a special dinner or a treat for yourself. You deserve it!
5. In the moment when everyone is emailing you with congratulations or patting you on the back or your boss is telling you, "well done," just smile, say thank you, and keep breathing.

Just breathe and receive. Breathe and receive.

You can do this.

Christina

Do you work for a boss or a leader?

A micro newsletter! Testers register than one minute to read.

Leadership lessons at the lobby coffee pot

Last week, I was in San Diego for strategy meetings with my business mastermind (i.e. my coach and business peeps). Being from Minnesota, I was awake every morning at 5:00 while my CA roomies were still asnooze in their beds. Luckily, the hotel served tea very, very early so I found my way to the lobby each morning to grab some caffeine and catch up on email.

At the coffee pot, I met a hotel employee, Luis. One morning, I commented to Luis that he seemed to really enjoy his job. This is what he said, "I love working here. We don't have bosses. We have leaders. They don't just sit in their offices and order us around. They come out here to help us."

Luis got me thinking about you. We've established in the past two weeks that you are a leader regardless of your role. Many of you are also bosses. If you are a great leader, you will also be a great boss. We've all had great bosses. (If you haven't, call me now!)

It doesn't work the other way around. We've all known or worked for sucky bosses who weren't leaders (that NEVER happened to me in my corporate days).

Luis pointed out important differences between the two so you can see where you (and your boss) are behaving as leaders or, ugh, as bossy-pants:

1. Bosses sit in their corner offices and tell people what to do. Leaders inspire the team.
2. Bosses have positional power and use it. Leaders have power by virtue of respect, trust, and affection.
3. Bosses micromanage and want everything done "right." Leaders delegate and play to people's strengths.
4. Bosses take credit. Leaders give credit and praise generously and often.
5. Bosses stand in the limelight. Leaders fade so that other people can have success and attention for their accomplishments.

Think of leaders you've loved and bosses you've hated. What can you learn about your own leadership (or bossy-ness) from them?

Lead on!

Christina

Mermaids and leadership. Two great things that go great together!

It's a short one this week! 1 minute, tops!

A real life mermaid leader

Did you know there are professional mermaids? It's true. There are people who make a living being a mermaid. For reals.

Mermaids are leaders. They take responsibility for their worlds.(Recognize the theme from past couple of weeks?) It matters that they show up with their scaly tails on time and sit still in a pool for 2 hours delighting mesmerized children. They take responsibility for the joy they put into the world. They are leaders.

So, let's remember the core of the past two rebelicious newsletters:

Leaders take responsibility for their worlds.

It doesn't matter if you are a CEO, a stay-at-home mom, a manager, an administrative assistant. a student, or your mail carrier.

Leadership is not defined by your position, test. Leadership is defined by your perspective. It matters that you show up, do your best, and take responsibility for yourself and your world.

Let's look at a few examples:

Leaders decide what kind of energy they want to put into traffic.You have a choice to flip the bird to the person who just cut you off or to assume they are doing the best they can and smile in solidarity knowing that tomorrow, it could be you.

• Leaders clean up the messes they create and admit when they are wrong.
• Leaders treat cashiers, servers, and janitors kindly.
• Leaders know that they are not responsible for everything and everyone.
• Leaders build relationships and consider other people's needs. You have opportunities to lead every time you go to the grocery store, in every meeting, on every team you serve, and in every class you take.

What will you do this week to take responsibility for your world?

Lead on!

Christina

Stressed out at the idea of "taking responsibility?" Read this.

Estimated read time: 2 minutes

A real response from a bonafide reader!

It's been exciting this week to receive your responses to last week's question: What does "leaders take responsibility for their world" mean to you? (Look for YOUR response below).

You responded with many amazing and beautiful ways you take responsibility for the food we eat, your families, your work, the safety of our beauty products, and generating love and peace. It's humbling to see all the ways the group that receives this rebelicious newsletter is having an impact. I'm honored to be among you.

You work in IT, the finance industry, healthcare, regulatory affairs, coaching, and education (to name a few of your worlds). You have families, parents, pets, homes and communities. Each of you is taking responsibility in ways large and small "in the spirit of making a better universe" (and I quote one your brilliant comments).

Today is about the "responsibility" of leadership.

One of my clients was struggling (fretting would be a more accurate word) with the "responsibility" part of his leadership. He tends toward "over-responsibility" and "responsible for everything" which left him feeling pretty daunted by "Leaders take responsibility for their world."

I wouldn't be the corporate rebel coach if I didn't give you strategies and ways to process this for yourself. Here's what my client and I created together in our session in case you worry about over-giving, too (shared with his permission, of course).

1. Let go of the illusion that you can control everything. A need to control leads to over-giving, over responsibility, and burn out. Burn out ain't good for anyone's world.
2. Be responsible for the talents you've been given. As you saw in the list above, this amazing group has a wide-variety of talents. Do YOUR work. And let other people do their work (this is the part where you get to let go - guilt free - of many, many things).
3. Discern what's yours and choose where you put your time and energy. Trust that you are doing enough, that you are having an impact, and what you do every day matters.
4. Think about how to expand your "world" without succumbing to #1 or #2.

Pat yourself on the back. You're doing great things in your world. You really are.

Christina