What I Learned This Summer Part 4: Trust the Magic

My dog wants me to work here

Today might be a little longer than usual as the story is so good. The point is to show you how to make the magic happen in your career.

Hint: Wait. Pay attention.

Here's the background of seemingly unrelated things that have been rolling around in my head for a couple of years:

• I live near a college and walk my dogs on campus everyday.
• I love the energy of early adulthood, and paid for my PhD by working in student affairs as a Residence Hall Director.
• My clients now include a number of 21-year-olds, and it's thrilling to teach them the lessons I wish I had known at their age.
• I have loosely thought about creating a program for young adults and have done nothing with that idea.
• I miss having colleagues that I see every day and the ambient conversations that happen in the cafeteria and hallway.

Here's the story:

My husband and I were walking on campus, and he suggested I might do a program for college students. I couldn't shut the conversation down fast enough. It was my restorative August, and I could not tolerate even a fun, inspirational conversation about work.

As we continued to walk, a door opened and hundreds of new students poured out. We pivoted our route to avoid the crowd and found ourselves walking next to a woman. I asked if she had just presented to the first years, and it turns out she is the VP of Student Affairs. We discovered we're neighbors, discussed her kids, our kids, and then I mentioned how much I loved my time in student affairs. Then she said, "Might you be interested in a part-time job?"

For the first time since I became a coach, I thought... "yeah, maybe."

We're having tea soon.

I don't know where this will lead or I want to add a part-time job to a full life, and here's my point. The magic happens when you least expect it. I wasn't just not looking, I actively shut down the conversation. Then one minute later, an opportunity fell out of nowhere.

So, let yourself long for things. Let ideas roll around in your head. Think about and even talk about unrelated interests. Then say hello, be out in the world, watch for the open door, and walk through with curiosity.

I'm amazed as you are.

My next live event, Energizing U, is coming up on October 26. If you want to amp up your energy and movtivation, this one's for you! Sign up here.

What I Learned This Summer Part 3: You'll Know When Its Time

Time to read: 36.25 seconds

Last week I told you I took the month of August off. The truth is I was bone tired. Not burned out because I love what I do, and after the pandemic and a bunch of personal stuff, I needed to put everything down and recover.

I was unmotivated. I slept until 8:30. Going to the gym was a victory. Major sources of entertainment were walking my dogs, hanging with friends, and reading. I could not muster the energy for anything related to work. I couldn't even talk about it. (You'll hear more about that next week.)

A little voice wondered if my drive would ever return. If my new normal would be nothing but dog walks and tea.

Then, in the past week, as I've started seeing clients again and planning for a new cohort of my signature group program, Clarity U (more coming about that later), I started to imagine a couple of free online events and what I wanted to write in my newsletter. Ideas started flowing, and I'm excited to create events and content for you.

The takeaway for you is that you can trust yourself to know when it's time to turn it off. And when you're ready to turn it back on. Your motivation and energy ebb and flow. Be ready to move when it flows, and honor your need for the ebb.

You can get more information and sign up for Creating U here and Energizing U here.

Challenge #10: What Would You Do If….?

Time to read: 15 seconds!

Get to the front of the line at the Mona Lisa!

Welcome to week 10 of your summer challenge!

Today is short and sweet. Here is one of my all time favorite questions:

What would you do if you trusted yourself?

See what happens when this question guides your week.

If you're enjoying this challenge, please invite your friends and colleagues to join you. They can sign up for it here.

Trust yourself!

I Lost My Email. Guess What Happened?

Time to read: 15 seconds. Still time to join Rebooting U: 2 seconds

I got a new computer (battery died on old one, blah, blah, blah) and in the transfer of data, my email went insane (that's the technical term) and deleted archived emails.

How many? Don't know.

From whom? Have no idea.

At first I freaked out. I save all those emails for a reason - to reply to people later, as reminders to do something, or to remember something funny or important. I begged my husband tech support team to find and restore what was lost.

Then I realized...

Those emails don't matter.

It's been a few days, and the world still turns. No one has been offended. I have no idea what those emails were about. If they were important, people will email again or I'll remember what I said I'd do. In short: Nothing happened. Losing those emails was a complete non-event.

From this non-event, here are two lessons for you:

1. You think things matter that actually don't. The pandemic taught us that lesson in spades.
2. You can trust yourself to keep track of what's important. The pandemic taught us that lesson, too.

So, consider one thing you think is important that actually isn't. Remove it. It was liberating to have only 5 emails in my inbox for a few hours.

I hope this helps.

Awkward transition...

The second class for Rebooting U is tomorrow at 11:00 CT. You can still join us. Sign up and I'll send you the recording of the first class about Recover: Your Brain on Stress. You can get more information and sign up here.

If you're in the US, have a great holiday weekend.

What Does Covid-19 Teach Us?

Time to read: 1.35 minutes.
If you missed the Corporate Rebel Roundtable last week, you can still join here. (It's free!)

Covid-19 is all over the news. Last weekend, I noticed that people had purchased all the black beans and spaghetti at my neighborhood grocery store. A friend said Costco was out of toilet paper. People are canceling flights. Companies are asking employees who travel out of the country not to come back into the office for 14 days upon their return.

What does all this mean for the Corporate Rebels?

IMHO Covid-19 serves as a stark reminder that you are not in control.

You can have your 5-year or 10-year plan and then something comes along and changes your direction. That something may be a health scare, a new baby, following a partner's dream to a new location, a layoff, a new boss you hate, or a side hustle that goes viral and becomes your main work.

Covid-19 is making mincemeat of many corporate plans and affecting many individuals across the globe.

So, what is a Corporate Rebel to do when faced with the truth that you are not in control? (Start with a curse: Damn it!)

1. Trust yourself: Know that you always have everything you need to make the next right decision. When you look back over your life, you can see that you figured things out. You knew what to do. You took chances, and things worked out. Or they didn't and you made a new choice. You've got this. Whatever "this" is.
2. Take ownership: Just because you're not in control doesn't mean you throw up your hands and do nothing. Apparently, for Covid-19, you need black beans and toilet paper. (I bought extra chocolate chips. Priorities.) You do your work. You stay up-to-date in your field. You feed your network. You buy spaghetti.
3. Be open to the journey: You never know what will happen next. You don't know where your next opportunity will come from. Even crisis like layoffs or viruses have a way of bringing people together and opening doors. Covid-19 will force some serious conversation about how we do business and who knows what will come from such re-evaluation. This virus is a game-changer.

Promise me you'll still click the link on the Corporate Rebel Roundtable and share it with all your friends even though I am about to share an incredibly useful and distracting link right here. This blog post by Seth Godin is one of the smartest, most insightful pieces I've read about Covid-19.

Now, here's the awkward transition to the Corporate Rebel Roundtable. Please sign up to join us live on Friday, March 13 for a rich and meaningful conversation about work. Join here and share this link with your friends, colleagues, and business partners.

I can't wait to connect with you live.

Wash your hands.

Christina

P.S. Invite your friends to the Corporate Rebel Roundtable. They can join the Roundtable here.

2 Questions to Defeat Doubt

Time to read: a teeny bit over one minute

The stage at Hadestown

You're in a meeting. You say something risky. The room goes silent. One of your colleagues replies, and the meeting moves on. After the meeting, you run your words over and over in your head. You wonder if your colleague thinks you're an idiot. You wonder if you should have kept your mouth shut.

Doubt runs roughshod over your confidence and energy.

Doubt is a story older than time.

My daughter and I spent Labor Day weekend in NYC eating and going to Broadway. We saw Hadestown, a sublime retelling of the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. (If you have a chance to see this show, go. Amazing music. Wonderful story. A parable for life and work.)

Spoiler alert.

If you know your Greek myths, you know how the story ends. Orpheus and Eurydice strike a deal with Hades that they can leave hell, but only if Eurydice walks behind and Orpheus doesn't turn around. The voices of doubt overtake Orpheus, and he turns his head to check that Eurydice is there. As soon as he turns, Eurydice returns to hell and heartbreak ensues. When the show was over, I was sobbing in my seat. (My daughter was mortified.)

Of course, I was sad by the unhappy ending. More than that, I was pissed that doubt won. I wanted so badly for this old tale of love and trust to end with trust. It didn't.

So, what does this have to do with you and your work?

Very often, doubt wins. Doubt overtakes you, and you metaphorically end up in hell, even if it's only the darkness and confusion in your own mind.

What do you do about it? Here are two questions to ask yourself when doubt creeps in:

1. What am I trying to get away with? Maybe you want to hide after the meeting and wish your comment would disappear.


2. What do I not want to be responsible for? It might be a good idea to check in with your colleague. Talking to her feels uncomfortable and vulnerable. You'll get feedback. You don't want to take responsibility for whatever impact you had in the meeting. Not asking about it means it didn't happen (see #1).

What to do: Go straight into the discomfort and ask, "I'd like to check in with you about the meeting. Do you have a minute?"

You'll feel better. You'll defeat doubt. And trust will win.

I hope this helps.

Christina

Do You Hate It When People Tell You How You Feel?

Time to read: 1 little minute and 15 tiny seconds

My corporate campsite this week.

Do you hate it when people tell you how you feel?

Let me begin with a little story then tell you what to do when someone inaccurately insists you must be feeling something you are not.

I'm at a client site this week doing 2 intense days of back to back private coaching for a big corporation followed by a third day of team building sessions. When I return home, I head to another big corporation to coach all day in their women's leadership program. When I tell people about my week, they say, "that must be exhausting!",

When I hear that, I'm like, "hmmmmm….," or I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed because other people's opinions can muddy the water and make it hard to listen to your own feelings and trust your own experience. With their suggestion, you might start to wonder, "Am I exhausted? Maybe I should be."

By becoming aware when other people are imposing how you should feel, you can commit to listen to and trust how you actually feel.

Here's how to do that:

1. Check in with yourself. When you hear a suggestion for how you should feel, use it as a reminder to pause and check in. How are you feeling? Is there something you need to express, process alone, or adjust? What will get you on track with where you want to be?
2. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself. Are you telling stories that are empowering or disempowering? Is telling yourself that you are exhausted or overwhelmed enabling you to be your best self and do your best work or is it sapping your energy?
3. Choose your feelings. You get to decide if you are exhausted, overwhelmed or frustrated. The circumstances don't dictate your feelings, and other people's suggestions certainly don't. It is true that I may be tired when I get on the plane to go home, and while doing the work, I choose to be energized and inspired by my clients.
4. Clarify. If you want to, you can clarify how you really feel to the person who is asking. Assume they care about you and had the best of intentions when they made their comment. Something like, "actually, I love these clients and get in the zone when I do back-to-back coaching."
5. Get curious. If you notice yourself "suggesting" feelings to others, get curious. Instead of telling them how they feel, ask, "How do you feel about that?" You might be surprised by what you learn and amused to see the assumptions you make, too.

I hope this helps!

Christina

P.S. Are there people to whom you'd like to give a big, fat hint? Use this email to tell them to stop suggesting how you should feel! They can join to receive this newsletter right here.