It's Guilt Week!

Time to read: Less than 2. 5 minutes

Guilty Dog

Last week, I promised you that we would deal with false emotions for the month of February.

Today is GUILT day! Yaaaaaaay!

You know guilt. You feel guilty when you don't call your mother enough. You feel guilty when you say, "let's get together for lunch," and then you never call. You feel guilty when you say no to a project, and it lands on your colleague's plate.

Like overwhelm from last week, guilt is a false emotion.

I'm going to give it to you straight.

Guilt is a shield you put up to make yourself feel like you're doing something when you aren't. If you feel guilty about not visiting your parents more often, then you're doing something about not visiting them, right?

Nope.

Nice try.

Like all false emotions, look underneath to see what's really going on.

1. Identify your actual feelings. Hint: Those will be the uncomfortable feelings you are trying to avoid. Under guilt is typically remorse or anger.


2. Feel the feelings. I'll say this every week. Feel the remorse or anger so you can clear the path, let the guilt go, and get clear about the truth in your situation.


3. Take action from the truth. Once you feel the remorse or anger, you can decide if you want to visit your parents or invite that friend to lunch or clean things up with your colleague who got the project. You'll be clear.

Here's an example so you can see how this works: Let's say you never get together with some old friends, and you feel guilty every time you say no to their invitations. First, identify your true feelings. You might feel remorse that you actually don't want to get together with these friends anymore. Or remorse that you've grown apart from them as your lives have taken different directions. Allow yourself your sadness, loss and remorse.

Once you've cleared the feelings, then you can decide what to do. Maybe it's time to say goodbye. Maybe you need to redesign your relationship with them. Now that you have a baby, you're just not interested in hanging out at the bar anymore. Perhaps there's a new way to hang out together. Maybe there's one person you want to see and you're done with the others. Double down on that one friendship instead.

See how this works?

Coming soon: blame and self-pity.

So fun.

Remember: Getting honest with yourself about the shield of false emotions will liberate you! It's worth the effort to build your awareness and feel your feelings.

It's an honor to be in your in-box each week. Have a great weekend!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who suffers from guilt? Oh yes. This is a popular one. Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.

P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Do This Instead...

Time to read: 1:08.57 - I guess I could just say 1:09 but 1:08.57 sounds more scientific.

Find the magic

You awake in the night, worried about the next day. You feel behind before your first cup of coffee. The more you do, the longer your to-do list seems to get. That's overwhelm. You're trying to fit 10 pounds of stuff into a 5 pound bag and feel powerless to do anything about it. Sound familiar?

There's good news.

Overwhelm is a false emotion, which means that overwhelm is something you throw up as a shield in front of your true emotions to "protect" yourself from the discomfort of your real feelings. The bad news is that overwhelm keeps you spinning with no end in sight.

There's an easy (although not always comfortable) way out. Here's the prescription to manage your overwhelm:

1. Feel the feelings. Underneath the false emotion of overwhelm usually lies a martyr, the one who feels like YOU have to do it all. The martyr feels unappreciated. Unrecognized. Put-upon. When you feel the martyr, look underneath. You might find rage, jealousy, maybe even loneliness. Peek behind the overwhelm to find your true feeling and feel them instead.
2. Leverage the other side of martyr. On the flip side of martyr is love and magic. When you feel like the world is on YOUR shoulders, look for what you love. Look for the best expression of you. Look for the magic you bring to the people in your life and do more of that instead.

Here's an example: Let's say you feel like you are always the one to make social arrangements. You invite people to lunch. You make the dinner reservations. You resent that your friends and colleagues never seem to initiate. (Hello, martyr!) Perhaps what you feel is lonely. Maybe even pissed that no one else makes things happen. Pause. Feel the loneliness and anger. Then lean into the love you feel for your friends and colleagues, the fun you have when hanging out with them, and your magic as a connector of people. Then you can give your gift freely without the burden of overwhelm.

Without all that stinky energy, you'll have more time and more fun. You'll likely get a lot more done, too.

In coming weeks, I'll talk about the false emotions of blame, self-pity, and guilt. By March, you'll be free!

It's an honor to be in your in-box each week. Have a great weekend!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who suffers from overwhelm? Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.

P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.

Three Steps to a Powerful 2020 Plan

Time to read: 1 little minute

Happy 2nd week of 2020 Rebels!

It takes a few weeks, maybe even 4-6 weeks to clean out the debris from 2019, wake up from the holidays, build your momentum, and be ready to set goals and intentions.

I’m coaching at a spa in Mexico this week. (I know. Someone’s gotta live this hard life. In a future newsletter, I’ll tell you how to create things like coaching at a spa in Mexico. It’s a great story.)

I had a blast planning 2020 on the flight. If you had asked me to plan 2020 two weeks ago, I would have poked you in the eye and gone back to bed.

Here are three tips for setting your 2020 plans:

1. Wait until you are energetically ready to plan 2020. If it doesn’t feel easy, you are not ready. Don’t force it. Forcing just brings the energy of striving and pushing into your year. Bring the energy of ease and flow instead.
2. Be disciplined about reflecting on 2019 and creating a plan. When the ideas start flowing, set aside time, make space, take notes. Your plan won’t create itself.
3. Be open to surprises. When you do a structured reflection and planning process, the unexpected happens. Two of my goals for 2020 are to follow my urges (quickly moving past the doubt that stops me) and do new things. Before I sat down to process 2019, I didn’t see these goals coming.

Setting clear intentions and goals is a powerful practice. Your year will take off like a rocket before you even have a chance to write it all down. I haven’t finished writing my plan yet and today I handed my card to a fellow business traveler (following an urge) and I’ve taken up cross country skiing (something new).

Set your intentions and fill this year with ease and flow.

If you want my help with reflection and planning, reach out. If you want to tell me what you’re already doing, reach out. I love to hear from you.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who is transitioning to the new year? Share this newsletter with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.

3 Tips For a Successful Transition to 2020

Time to read: 1.05 minutes

This is the second time my dishwasher has been featured in a newsletter.

Happy New Year!

It's 2020.

Chaos is the name of the game. My clients are experiencing chaos. I'm experiencing chaos. Do these examples feel familiar?

• The dishwasher broke down.
• Your child showed up to the class he's registered for and discovered he's not registered.
• The scope on a work project crept over the holidays, and everyone on the team is confused about their role.
• You're not sleeping well.
• People are sick.

Here's the good news. Early January is a period of transition. Life doesn't immediately go back to "normal" on January 1st. The promise of the New Year doesn't take off on January 1st. It will take you a few days to a week to feel like the ground is solid under your feet again.

So, what's a Corporate Rebel to do in the chaos of transition?

1. Get to know and accept your process. You have a process that guides you safely through a transition. Some parts of your process may not be pretty. Mine involves a major freak-out/melt down. A friend's involves apathy. Move through your process (even the messy bits) with acceptance and grace. After my melt-down, I have a day of super efficiency. It's like a storm blows through, clears the debris, and sets the runway for take-off.


2. Be patient. Transitions aren't a one and done. Give yourself time to get back on your feet after taking time off.


3. Take one step at a time. You'll find a firm foundation one email at a time. One meeting at a time. All you have to do is write that one proposal. Send that one inquiry. Call that one person. Pretty soon you'll be on a roll.

Then it will be spring break, and you can come home from vacation and do it all again.

Mid-January through the end of February are the perfect time to reflect on 2019 and create an intentional plan for 2020. If you'd like to talk about a powerful 2-session process to guide you through reflection and planning, hit reply to this email and we'll set up a quick time to chat.

Welcome back, Rebels!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who is transitioning to the new yea? Share my blog with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.

Happy Bleepin' New Year!

Time to read: 56.48 seconds

I hate New Year.

I've always hated New Year.

Here's why: You are expected to wake up on January 1st and be miraculously different. But when you wake up, politics are the same. Your body is the same. It's the same world, layered with false expectations that everything will be shiny and new. I hate that.

Until recently, I've learned to enjoy New Year. (Don't tell anyone. It's much more fun to be the curmudgeon who hates New Year.) Here's what changed and what you can do if you are a New Year hater, too.

1. Change your expectations. Stop expecting everything to be shiny and new. Changing your expectations means you won't be disappointed when they aren't met.


2. Do something different. We started having people over and making sushi or taking sparklers outside in the snow. Throw out any prescribed tradition and make fun in your own way.


3. Go to bed. I never stay up to midnight. I like sleep. I like my cozy bed. If you like staying up, great! If you feel you should stay up, don't bother.


4. Make New Year one step in the larger journey of your purpose. The truth is, New Year is just a point in time on the larger journey of your life. Eight years ago, I started evaluating my year in order to set intentions and goals for the coming year. I love looking back to see how the past 12 months stacked up and by February or so, I have a document that steers the direction of the coming months. This process helps you stay on purpose and be conscious and intentional about what you create in your work and life.

I hope this helps.

I offer The Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan once a year as a stand-alone process. If you're curious to learn more, hit reply and shoot me an email. We can hop on the phone for a quick chat to see if this is exactly what you need to move forward with intention.

Happy New Year!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who hates New Year? Share this blog with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.