Time to read: 2 minutes of pure validation and relief
The blissful days of parenting little ones
This one is for you, parent-rebels.
(If you're not a parent, keep reading as you know parents).
You are in an untenable position. The systems in the USA are not set up to support working parents under the best of circumstances. Trying to homeschool and entertain young children while simultaneously doing your job is impossible. If you are a single parent, the situation is even worse.
My clients and friends with young children face constant interruptions, no daycare, no school, no camp, and no peace.
Smart writers are sounding the alarm about the impossible position for parents in the Covid-19 economy. Read Deb Perelman's article, "We are Being Crushed," in the NYT here. Her article will validate everything you are experiencing.
What are you supposed to do? I put together this list as a parent-specific supplement to The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please keep in mind that I am not an expert on the COVID19 virus, the data in your particular location, or your family's personal situation. Make prudent choices for you and your family.
Here's what I've seen help working parents:
- Accept the situation. Being locked at home with your children is less-than-ideal. The possibility that school could be closed in the fall is sub-optimal. You have to accept the situation as it is. Liberate, maybe even lower, your expectations so you can get creative. (If school is closed in the fall, I'll be challenged to accept it. You can remind me in the fall that I gave you this stupid advice.)
- Examine your priorities and assumptions about what it means to be the ideal employee (available at all hours, immediately responsive) and the ideal parent. "Ideal parenting" and "ideal working" clash. You are likely holding impossible standards. Make sure your actions align with your priorities. To understand more about the clash of priorities for working parents, read this.
- Raise the alarm with your employer. For the Covid economy to work for working parents, companies will have to get creative. Starting early. Working late. Split shifts. Fridays off. Mondays off. Talk to your colleagues. Talk to your boss. Employers will have to make changes in expectations and structures if working parents are going to have any chance of success.
- Let go of guilt that you are failing at work and failing as a parent. This situation is hard. Don't add self-doubt and self-criticism to the pile on. If your kids watches 6 hours of cartoons so you can get to meetings, oh well. (See #1)
- Vote for candidates who will take seriously the kinds of leave and family-work policies that make parenting and working possible in the USA.
- Structure your home life as best you can. Create a kid-free work zone. You need maximum focus and productivity when working with kids at home so be clear that your work space is off limits unless the house is on fire or someone is barfing. Be efficient and focused when you're working. This may mean no "nice-to-have" meetings, no extra chit-chat. It sucks, and it preserves precious time for your family.
- Form community with other adults in your life as much as feels safe for you. Tag team parenting with your partner if you have one. Create child-care pods with neighbors who take turns taking kids to the park. Bring in grandparents. Hire a teenage nanny.
- Turn work off and focus on your family. The temptation to work all the time when you're at home is great. Turn off your laptop and spend focused time with your kiddos. They will interrupt you less if they know they have your undivided attention at other times, and you need the break.
- Did I mention vote?
I hope this helps.
Christina
P.S. Here it is again, The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please share it liberally.