What To Do When You Feel Helpless

Time to read: Today is short. There's a lot going on.

This week my clients and my own children are asking a question something like, "How do I keep going when the world sucks?"

I'm not a geo-political or historical expert, and this week's invasion of Ukraine must not go unmentioned. Russia's brutal invasion of Ukraine is painful to witness. I hear the helplessness. The fear that the bad guys win. The recognition of pure cruelty. It's hard to comprehend. It's hard to know what to do.

Keep 2 important things in mind:

1. Feel your feelings. Open your heart. Don't ignore what's happening and let yourself be heartbroken. Be human. This situation is worthy of your tears, anger, and despair.
2. You have to keep going. You have important work to do. You have important people to love. You have a difference to make in your corner of the world. Bring treats for your co-workers (if you see them in person). Call an old friend. Write a love letter. Volunteer to serve meals. You matter. Your work matters. The only way to counter bullies is to not give in. The Ukrainian people are showing that resolve. Help those around you keep going. They matter, too.

   I'll say it again. You matter. Your work matters. Keep going.

   And hope and pray for peace.

Take Action!

Time to read: Action! Action! Action! 46.5 seconds

Today a client (let's call her Jane) told me she was waffling about sending a text to a neighbor to hang out after a frustrating day at work. She wanted the company and feared she was bothering her neighbor or asking for too much. She swallowed the second guessing, sent the text, got an instant "yes!" and enjoyed a glass of wine and her neighbor's companionship. She felt better after a hard day.

What I love about this story is the action orientation. Jane didn't analyze why she was afraid to send the text. She didn't succumb to not sending the text. She simply sent the text and got a result.

Action produces results. Guaranteed.

• You can plan to share a new idea with your boss. Sharing the idea will generate feedback, additional ideas, and energy. Even hearing "no" will generate energy.
• Joining a new club will instantly lead to new relationships and experiences.
• Applying for a job will create an updated resume, interview planning, and momentum even if you don't get the job.

Action leads to more action. On and on it goes.

So, make the call, book the trip, send the email, sign up for the class, say the thing. You'll be glad you did.

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Have a great weekend!

How To Look For What's Right

Time to read: 31 little right seconds

Indulge me. We got a new kitten and she's very right!

I'm going to get straight to the point today since y'all have full lives.

Instead of looking for what's wrong, look for what's right.

I mentioned last week that what you think and talk about shows what you care about. Change your attention, and you'll build joy and positivity. Try on these examples:

• Company reorganizing again? Try: Gives you and your colleagues something interesting to talk about….or….reorganization creates opportunities.
• Dog barks too much? Try: Your dog is lively and makes you get outside for walks….or….she's cute.
• Wrong food came to your table? Try: You get to try something new…or….How great that you know how to speak up for what you want.
• Tired of winter? Try: Cozy dinners. Reading by the fire. Skiing.
• Car accident? Try: Look for all the people who help….or…No one was injured.

Looking for what's right doesn't mean ignoring when you feel sad or when bad things happen. It means looking around to see all the things that are going right in any situation. This subtle shift in noticing will make a big difference.

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Have a great weekend, y'all!

3 Easy Ways To Cultivate Joy

Time to read: 56 seconds

Like this little beauty!

I love having a mail bag of questions and topics from all y'all. A number of you asked me to focus on joy, especially when there are so many things to worry about. So, today I'll show you the easy path to joy.

Worry and stress are easy. You only have to read the news or pay attention to the constant changes in the workplace to find things to keep you awake.

Humans are designed with a negativity bias. Our evolutionary interest dictates that a rustling in the bushes prompts us to think, "tiger!" and run. If we approach those bushes with curiosity and openness, we likely get chowed and that's our evolutionary end.

The good news? You are not stuck with your negativity bias. Humans also have choice and intention. You can cultivate positivity and joy.

Here are three easy ways to cultivate joy:

1. Look for it. Joy doesn't have to be huge gestures and momentous events. Find tiny moments. Sparkling snow. Delicious bread. A bird. Your first sip of coffee. You don't have to wait for vacation to find joy. It's around you right now, even people in Zoom calls say hilarious things or have a cool painting behind them.
2. Appreciation. Take every opportunity to offer appreciation - to your family, co-workers, the barista, your child's teacher. Make it your business to be the one who sends the appreciative email or notices what someone has done.
3. Gratitude. Do I dare go all cliche? Attitude of gratitude and all that. Gratitude matters. For real. Go to bed at night and wake up each morning thinking of one thing you're grateful for.

Put these three practices together, and you will have more joy. Works every time!

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Be well and have a good weekend.

Remove This Word And Change Your Life

Time to read: 1 minute, 15 seconds

I was talking with a client this week, and he said something like,"If I just control the information that goes out, things will go smoothly." Every time I hear this word I reply with, "let's make a tiiiiiny adjustment to one word."

The word is….

CONTROL

Boo. Hiss. Erase. Delete. Gone forever.

Control is an illusion. When you believe the illusion, control leads to inflexibility over possibility, outcome over process, reaction over responsibility, and separation over connection. Striving for control limits your view, feeds unhealthy competition, and is quite ineffective.

Instead of control, try one of these words: ownership, responsibility, influence, power.

Back to the example: What's different if you have ownership of the information that goes out? Or if you have influence over it? Ownership and influence give you power. They put you in the driver's seat. They recognize that you are responsible for your side of the fence and help you get clear about what's yours. Ownership and influence lift you from responsibility for what happens on the other side.

Deleting and replacing the word will help you, over time, delete and replace the energy of control and set you up to embrace the ease that brings.

Try it and then email me what happens!

I love to hear from you. Email me

The Corporate Rebel's Guide To Being Of Service

Time to read: 1 minute, 15 seconds

I finally had a few hours to pour over all the input you sent after the New Year. You asked me to talk about things from the existential (How do we trust our inner knowing?) to the tactical. (How do I know when a meeting needs to be in person vs virtual?)

I'm excited to dive in on the things you care about.

Today is about service. A few of you asked how you can make a difference when the world's problems seem so big. You're needed. Really. Here's what I mean:

I recently started substitute teaching at my children's school. Although I teach in my business, I'm not a trained teacher and a classroom full of students terrified me. After my teens schooled me in how not to be lame, I took my first assignment in the middle school. Turns out I like middle schoolers and that everything I've learned as a trainer and leader made me pretty good at engaging kids.

There's much need these days so here are my three criteria for service so you can look around your corner of the universe and decide where to plug yourself in:

• What's in it for them? The main point of service is to actually meet a need and make things better. Knowing that you're making a difference, even to one person, motivates you. In my world, there aren't enough substitute teachers. The past two years have been rough on educators, and they need back up.
• What's in it for you? When you meet a need for others and yourself, it's a win-win. Find service that benefits you or people you love or helps you develop a skill or a new perspective. I want school to stay open for my kids and all kids. I'm also an extrovert and am happier when I'm out in the world, live and in person. And I get a free lunch!
• Can you do it? Use your skills and gifts. I wouldn't volunteer in technology or construction. I'm great with people, good on my feet and entertaining. Perfect for a class of 5th graders. I can also schedule my coaching to leave a few days open for subbing. Look for the openings in your schedule, even if it's just once or twice a month.

Today a 5th grader thanked me for being a good sub and a preteen told me she liked my dress. So worth it.

My Solution For Everything

Time to read: 1 minute, 15 seconds

When life presents you with a problem, the temptation is to do something - schedule the meeting, email the teacher, buy the product, make the phone call, have the conversation.

I'm a recovering over-doer, and I've discovered that there's a more effective path forward.

Do nothing.

This isn't a lazy, avoidance version of do-nothing. Instead, it's a powerful choice that enables life and work to flow smoothly. Often, the fast response is motivated by avoiding discomfort. When you learn to ride the discomfort and then act from a cleaner, clearer place, your action is easier, takes less energy, and yields more effective outcomes.

Here are my favorite strategies to help you powerfully do nothing:

• Pause. Even if it's only for a few seconds. Pausing allows your brain to come back online and buys you time when you don't know what to do next or how to respond. It's ok to sit in silence.
• Wait. This is a souped-up version of pause. When you wait, things shift over time. You get clear. Circumstances change. When I wait, the solution presents itself without any effort and is usually much easier than whatever I would have done if I charged into doing.
• Meditate. Mediation takes doing nothing to a whole new level. Worried about Covid? Meditate. Kid failed a test? Meditate. Deciding to quit your job? Meditate. Meditation is my go-to answer for everything these days. You'll be amazed at the wisdom you find when you sit quietly for 15 minutes.

In October, I met a woman who works in emergency management. She has seen and planned for any terrible scenario you can Imagine. She said when it comes to emergencies people think the right mindset is,"Don't just stand there, DO something!" Experts, however, teach, "Don't just do something, STAND there!" Standing there, she explained, enables to you look around, assess the situation, and proceed intentionally.

Exactly.

Do nothing on the path to more intention.

I'd love to hear about your experiments with doing nothing. Email me and let me know.