What We're Getting Wrong. (And how to get it right.)

Time to read: Less than 1 minute

Vermont in the fall

If you pay attention to the news, even if you don't, you can't escape the level of vitriol and meanness that seems to pervade our national and international conversations. I'd share examples but the list is long, depressing, and you already know it.

Baked into the vitriol and meanness is a sense of "us" and "them," an insistence on winning for my side while their side must lose. We are all too familiar with win-lose, and it's exhausting and anxiety producing.

Here's the thing: There is no such thing as win-lose. There's no such thing as "us" and "them."

There's only us.

Our only options are win-win or lose-lose.

Working toward win-win requires reflection and willingness to embrace complexity, paradox, uncertainty, and things you don't understand. The desire to cling to simple solutions, universal "truth," and certainty leads to choices and attitudes that cause everyone to lose.

Years ago, when I taught college, I used a game with my Group Communication class. The goal was to get the most points. Teams would sabotage each other and scrape out a point only to lose it later until the play ended with no points for either team (lose-lose). The trick to the game was collaboration. If the teams worked together, both teams won unlimited points (win-win).

Before you despair that human nature is fundamentally flawed, here's the good news. You make a difference. You can move through your day looking for and creating win-win in big and small ways, and when you do that, you feed the collective attitude. Those choices matter. Here are a few ideas then please, run with your exploration of win-win:

• Tip generously.
• Let drivers merge in traffic (and wave at the drivers who let you in).
• At the office find ways to create or offer opportunities for others to shine.
• Acknowledge good work and kindness publicly and frequently.

It's never about the details of who got what or who deserves more. It's always about the energy, the 10,000 foot view, and the choices you make to nourish win-win rather than lose-lose.

That's how powerful you are.

The Corporate Rebel's Guide To Being Of Service

Time to read: 1 minute, 15 seconds

I finally had a few hours to pour over all the input you sent after the New Year. You asked me to talk about things from the existential (How do we trust our inner knowing?) to the tactical. (How do I know when a meeting needs to be in person vs virtual?)

I'm excited to dive in on the things you care about.

Today is about service. A few of you asked how you can make a difference when the world's problems seem so big. You're needed. Really. Here's what I mean:

I recently started substitute teaching at my children's school. Although I teach in my business, I'm not a trained teacher and a classroom full of students terrified me. After my teens schooled me in how not to be lame, I took my first assignment in the middle school. Turns out I like middle schoolers and that everything I've learned as a trainer and leader made me pretty good at engaging kids.

There's much need these days so here are my three criteria for service so you can look around your corner of the universe and decide where to plug yourself in:

• What's in it for them? The main point of service is to actually meet a need and make things better. Knowing that you're making a difference, even to one person, motivates you. In my world, there aren't enough substitute teachers. The past two years have been rough on educators, and they need back up.
• What's in it for you? When you meet a need for others and yourself, it's a win-win. Find service that benefits you or people you love or helps you develop a skill or a new perspective. I want school to stay open for my kids and all kids. I'm also an extrovert and am happier when I'm out in the world, live and in person. And I get a free lunch!
• Can you do it? Use your skills and gifts. I wouldn't volunteer in technology or construction. I'm great with people, good on my feet and entertaining. Perfect for a class of 5th graders. I can also schedule my coaching to leave a few days open for subbing. Look for the openings in your schedule, even if it's just once or twice a month.

Today a 5th grader thanked me for being a good sub and a preteen told me she liked my dress. So worth it.

What Should You Do In the Face of the Unknown?

Time to read: 1.15 minutes

This is my pantry. When things are out of control, I do food.

It's been a weird week.

That is the understatement of the century.

You're glued to the news. You wake up to new information each day. Guidelines and recommendations change minute to minute. Kids are home from school. You're working from home. It's confusing and stressful.

I've found it hard to know what to do or how to be.

Daily life has been stripped of all activity which brings us back to basics.

Here are four bedrock basics that provide a firm foundation when the world has gone haywire. I return to them again and again. I hope they give you comfort as this pandemic unfolds.

1. Connect. Most of you are working from home which can be isolating and lonely. Starting Thursday March 19, I'm hosting a daily call at 9:00 CT for 30 minutes so you have a place to touch base, ground, set intentions and connect with others. Sign up once and come whenever you can M-F through at least March 27. It's free. Sign up here.
   
   Please share this opportunity to connect with your friends and colleagues, especially people who live alone.


2. Be compassionate. There is and will be suffering and hardship. Your compassion and friendship matter when others are in pain. Be there for your friends and those you don't even know because that's who you are, and it's the right thing to do.


3. Be of service: In the face of interruption like a worldwide pandemic, gaps become visible. YOU can fill these gaps and find ways to be of service. Look for opportunities to step in.


4. Find ways to leverage your super powers. Find new ways to use your expertise. Offer your social media skills to help colleagues stay connected. Use your project management experience to help your department streamline processes when you're all at a distance. Think about skills that might not seem obvious.

Connection is what I do. So, please come connect with me and others every morning at 9:00 CT. Join here.

In the midst of crisis, interruption and change, you matter! You have the power to make a big difference. Find your spot to serve.

With rebel love,

Christina

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I Hated It! 3 Things to Help You Do Things You Hate

Time to read: 1:07.89

I just returned from a 3-hour volunteer get out the vote shift for a local non-profit. My goal was to feel more involved in the upcoming election (now past when you read this) and to do my part to make the world a better place.

OMG, I hated it.

Even when I care about the cause and have respect for the passion of the person on my porch, I hate when people interrupt family dinner, and I hate getting solicitation phone calls. I became the person on the phone today.

People hung up on me, told me to stop calling, and offered me feedback. Thank goodness the majority of calls went to voicemail. (I did help two people find their polling place so that's something.) It was hard. It was discouraging. I did not like it one bit. While I was having this horrible experience, I was, as always, thinking of you and the world of work.

In any job or any life, you have to do things you hate sometimes. It's part of belonging to an organization and community.

So, when you have to do something you hate, here are 3 tips to get through it:

1. Trust that there are things you don't know. There may be very good reasons for why you are doing what you are doing. The political organizers of elections know a lot about how elections get won and lost. You and your actions are one small piece of a very big puzzle.


2. Do your best. Even if you don't like what you are doing, do it to the best of your ability. I was friendly and personable. I kept good notes on my calls. Find the ways you can do good work even when you don't like it.


3. Know your gifts and use them well. Making political phone calls is not my gift. Other people in my group were inspired by their calls, and the organizers have chosen this work as their job. As much as you can, recognize that someone else loves data entry when you hate it or someone else loves supervising people when people problems make you want to put a fork in your eye.

Oh, and vent to a friend. It will help you feel better. Thanks, Anne!

I hope that helps.

Christina

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What To DoWhen You Feel Helpless to Make a Difference

When unspeakable, heartbreaking, and bewildering things like Las Vegas happen, it leaves people like me feeling inadequate to know what to say. Silence isn't acceptable nor do I want to respond with a pat or simplistic comment.

So, first of all, my heart and prayers go out to anyone who is touched by recent events in the world - Las Vegas, Canada, Puerto Rico, Syria (to name only a few) - and any of you who feel the pain of these events even if they don't directly affect your world.

As I've processed the shooting in Las Vegas, I keep coming back to one thing.

The power of an individual.

In this case, it is the power of an individual to wreak terrible destruction, and certainly there are despicable models throughout history to prove that point.

Which brings me to you.

You matter. What you do every day matters. The way you behave towards others matters as does the way you treat yourself. If one individual can send out the ripple effect of so much pain, one individual can also send out the ripple effect of so much joy, gratitude, goodness, and peace. You have the power to be all those things every day.

Here's challenge:

When you close this email, immediately do one thing to point humanity toward the light. Call an old friend. Send an email to express gratitude. Bring coffee to a colleague. Step into the next cube and express your appreciation. Donate to the Red Cross.

This quote from the Dalai Lama hung on the bulletin board of my children's school all last year:

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

Be the rebel love today and always.

Christina