Spread Joy!

Time to read: 53 seconds

I was working with a leadership team last week, and after hours of exercises and reflection, they were preparing to declare their personal commitment to the team.

They asked for examples and I said, "The commitment I make everywhere I go and whatever I'm doing is to spread joy." I believe that a positive attitude is revolutionary. Cynicism of other people and institutions is rampant, and it's not an effective way to build community and connection.

It's easy:

• Say a kind thing to every service worker, all day
• Openly appreciate your family
• Express gratitude to your colleagues
• Compliment people

The easiest words ever:

• Thank you
• I am grateful for....
• It's great that you....
• That project was tough and you knocked it out of the park.

As JFK said, "A rising tide, lifts all boats." What commitment do you make to raise the tide?

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3 Easy Ways To Cultivate Joy

Time to read: 56 seconds

Like this little beauty!

I love having a mail bag of questions and topics from all y'all. A number of you asked me to focus on joy, especially when there are so many things to worry about. So, today I'll show you the easy path to joy.

Worry and stress are easy. You only have to read the news or pay attention to the constant changes in the workplace to find things to keep you awake.

Humans are designed with a negativity bias. Our evolutionary interest dictates that a rustling in the bushes prompts us to think, "tiger!" and run. If we approach those bushes with curiosity and openness, we likely get chowed and that's our evolutionary end.

The good news? You are not stuck with your negativity bias. Humans also have choice and intention. You can cultivate positivity and joy.

Here are three easy ways to cultivate joy:

1. Look for it. Joy doesn't have to be huge gestures and momentous events. Find tiny moments. Sparkling snow. Delicious bread. A bird. Your first sip of coffee. You don't have to wait for vacation to find joy. It's around you right now, even people in Zoom calls say hilarious things or have a cool painting behind them.
2. Appreciation. Take every opportunity to offer appreciation - to your family, co-workers, the barista, your child's teacher. Make it your business to be the one who sends the appreciative email or notices what someone has done.
3. Gratitude. Do I dare go all cliche? Attitude of gratitude and all that. Gratitude matters. For real. Go to bed at night and wake up each morning thinking of one thing you're grateful for.

Put these three practices together, and you will have more joy. Works every time!

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Be well and have a good weekend.

How to Stop That Devil On Your Shoulder

Time to read: 39 little seconds

I was talking to a new client recently, and he told me that every time he goes to networking events, a voice in his head tells him he has nothing to say, no one is interested, and that everyone else is a better networker.

No wonder networking seems hard and discouraging.

Networking is a popular place for this negative talk track to appear. Perhaps, for you, the voice appears in public presentations, in conversations with your boss, during job interviews or project meetings, dating, in-laws or college reunions. Choose your favorite situation.

You can't succeed in networking, interviews or conversations when you treat yourself negatively.

To dilute the negative voice, try this:

Think about someone you love - a friend, a sibling, or one of your children. Now imagine them at the networking event with you following them around whispering in their ear that they aren't good enough and will never succeed.

Ridiculous!

You'd never do that to them, right?

And yet, you do it to yourself.

Again, imagine the person you love. If you were a bug in their ear, how would you encourage them? What would you say?

See where this is going?! At the risk of connecting obvious dots...

Say those things to yourself.

Networking (and presentations and conversations with your boss and interviews) just got a whole lot easier.

Write to me and tell me all about it!

Rebel love to you!

Christina

P.S. Know someone who could use a weekly dose of positivity and tips for being happy in corporate life? They can join here.

You're the Best!

Time to read: Barely one minute. It's summer. You've got fun stuff to do.

You are a gift!

One of our own Corporate Rebels inspired today's blog. Steve sent me some astute comments after a post a few months ago. His thoughts inspired some fresh ways to think about your career which put you back in the driver's seat. If you feel like your career has been pushed this way and that by the winds of your company, read on!

Steve wrote, "I’ve shifted my attitude about work and career to how to use my gifts and talents (i.e., value proposition). For me, satisfaction comes from applying my gifts and talents which meets someone’s need and who is willing to compensate me for that."

Steve makes an excellent point. Put another way, you are a gift to your employer. Your contributions are as important as the things they give you.

Blow open your thinking about your career with these ideas:

1. Your employment is an equal energy exchange. You give your gifts and talents. Your company gives you money and benefits. They need you as much as you need them. This idea puts the power in your career back in your hands.


2. Do what you do best. You have gifts and talents. And you have...what shall we call them?…liabilities and weaknesses. Spend your career maximizing your strengths and partnering with other people's strengths (i.e. your liabilities and weaknesses). Doing what you do best allows you to shine and partnering with others who have different strengths, allows them to shine. It's a win-win!


3. Stop competing. Spending your career trying to outdo your competition is not a winning strategy. Instead, focus on partnership, relationship, and delivering the best darn solutions to meet your (internal and external) customer's needs. By focusing on value and solutions, you set yourself up to be a sought-after member of any team.

You're the best!

Christina

P.S. Have a colleague who needs to see themselves as a gift to your organization? Send them this newsletter and they can sign up for weekly motivation and positivity right here.

Circumstances Don't Equal Happiness. Lessons From the Volcano.

Time to read: Another one clocks in at 1.5 minutes. I'm on a roll!

Lava photo courtesy of Bruce Omori

I was listening to a radio report about the volcano eruption in Hawaii. First, let me say that my heart goes out to the many people who have lost homes and farms. The destruction is devastating.

As I was listening to the report, I was struck by one particular story.

A retired school teacher (let's call her Sally) reported feeling heat under her home and receiving an "evacuate immediately" notice from the emergency response team. Sally grabbed her two dogs and a bag of dog food and left thinking she would come back in the morning to retrieve her laptop and other important possessions.

When Sally went back the next morning, her entire home was covered in a wall of lava. All her worldly possessions were gone. I expected tears. I expected anger. She explained her circumstances something like this, "When you choose to live in a volcanically active place, you take the risk of this happening. It's a good thing I do a lot of yoga. I have insurance and instead of staying here, I'm going to use this as an excuse to move closer to my children in California." She even laughed. Wow.

As the story ended, I realized this woman gave me (and you) a tremendous gift. She serves as a reminder that your circumstances do not dictate your level of contentment or happiness. I'll break down the lessons:

• Life is a choice. Sally chose to live in Hawaii and therefore chose the risk. You choose to go to your job every day, whether you love it or hate it. You choose where you live. You choose who you spend your time with.
 
• Your reactions are a choice. It would be pretty natural for Sally to be devastated and angry. Instead she was optimistic and cheerful. Even in the midst of grief and loss, you can choose to fill your reaction with blame or with the pure experience of your human emotions including grief and anger.
 
• Take care of yourself. Sally does yoga. Taking care of your mind and body enables you to be resilient when things go awry, in little daily ways or in big ways like a lava wall.
 
• Look for the opportunity. When stuff happens, even bad stuff, you are being pointed to learn something, change something, or pivot in some way. Listen for the pivot. Where are you being pointed? Sally is planning to use this significant upset to make a move. (And you don't have to rush to the lesson. Have your emotions first, let things settle, then pivot as needed.)
 
• Focus on what's important. Sally grabbed her dogs. Hard circumstances are clarifying and point you swiftly and with precision toward what is important and what is not.
 
• Guard your sense of humor. Sally was laughing at her belief that she would return the following morning. She laughed that she saved a bag of dog food rather than her expensive new laptop. This is not to say that you must laugh or always look for the silver lining in tragedy. Levity, though, enables you to carry hard things lightly.

You are never as stuck as you sometimes believe you are.

With rebel freedom,

Christina

P.S. If you love the Corporate Rebel Unplugged Video Podcast and Newsletter, please share it with your friends and colleagues. They aren't stuck either. They can join us here.

I'm Pissed Off and Bewildered. What's In It For You?

I'm pissed!

I was going to write today's newsletter about Corporate Rebel Summer Camp which I will still do briefly at the end. I was so disappointed, bewildered, and frankly pissed off this evening that I had to write to you immediately.

Before I tell you THE INCIDENT, here's the point. You live in a community (your home, your workplace, your town, your neighborhood, the world). There are easy ways to enhance your community, and ways to shred them. It takes about 3 seconds of thought to be an enhancer and yet people thoughtlessly shred their communities ALL.THE.TIME. 

Has something like this happened to you?

Here's THE INCIDENT:

It's a beautiful night. My daughter and I were walking across a soccer field with our dog (pictured above) to drop her (daughter, not dog) at a game with the neighborhood league.

Another mom walked up to me and in a nasty voice said, "Dogs aren't allowed on this field." And then she said something rude that I'm not going to repeat, because I don't want to perpetuate the bad juju. She stomped off while I was muttering something like, "I had no idea…"

Let's be clear. I appreciate that she told me the rule. This was the first time I'd been to that field, and I'd seen lots of families bring dogs to soccer games in other places. I promptly took my dog home not because I wanted to please this woman, but because I understand the rule and am happy to comply. 

And, I was angry and bewildered. Are you as confounded as I am when nasty confrontations happen in public? I'm always looking for the learning when something makes me this angry. 

Here it is:

• Community matters, and we create it. This woman could have made the same point with a smile and a statement like, "You may not know this but….." That would have enhanced the sense of community rather than shredded it.
• Your tiny, everyday choices matter. That woman was able to be nasty to me because she made up an unconscious or conscious story that I'm a jerk or an idiot or somehow not like her. That kind of attitude on a large scale has led to much violence in the world.
• Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR). It's good for your health, enhances your mood, and makes our communities stronger when you start with positive assumptions about other people. This is called unconditional positive regard. It takes no time to implement and can completely change your world. 

Talking to a friend and writing you calmed my reaction and brought me back to a place of peace and acceptance... And stopped me from marching over to her and shredding our community myself with some carefully selected words. In 30 minutes, I was able to offer her some quiet UPR (tired, hard day, hates dogs, is working with her coach on speaking up).

Here's where I could try to make a graceful transition about community and the Corporate Rebel Summer Camp and I ain't got one. Instead, I'm just going to be clunky and shift gears on you.

The Corporate Rebel Summer Camp kicks off next week, June 15 at noon CT with aFacebook Live Campfire Conversation with my friend, colleague, and rebelicious sister, Sandra Possing.

We'll be talking about Real Rebellion in three Facebook Live sessions throughout June. Each session will have a theme and is open to the public. (Invite your friends and colleagues. No one has to sign up to participate. Just tune in here.) You can comment, ask questions, and share opinions. We're not selling anything. We're simply building community and inviting you to think about your Real Rebellion this summer! The Campfire Conversations are on Thursdays June 15, 22, and 29 at noon CT. Mark your calendar now and join us here on Thursday.

If you've had a community shredding confrontation, I'd love to hear about it. Especially how you responded. And come to the Facebook Live Campfire Conversation on Real Rebellion next Thursday!
 
All my Rebel Love,
 
Christina

P.S. You and everyone you know is invited to join me and my rebelicious colleague, Sandra Possing for our public Campfire Conversation on Facebook Live on June 15, June 22 and June 29 at noon Central Time to chat about your Real Rebellion. Tune in here.

The Lie You've Been Told About Your Career

Today I'm going to debunk a lie about your career and once I do, you are going to be freer than you were 1 minute and 25 seconds ago. Are you ready?

First, here's a story that illustrates the point.*

One of my clients is well paid, has the flexibility to do yoga in the middle of the day, and is supported when he needs to care for his elderly mother. He can leave his job at the office giving him the space to pour himself passionately into community volunteer projects and music performance. At this point, you may be scratching your head. So, what's the problem?

He's not passionate about his job.

He has worried that he's not making a big enough contribution at work or that his job is too stress-free or maybe he needs to find something with more responsibility. Is the lie becoming clearer to you?

Here's another hint at what I'm talking about: A cab driver in London once said to me, "You Americans live to work. We Brits work to live." 

Do you feel driven by a belief that you have to find your "passion" or feel "passionate" about your job and if you don't, somehow you're failing at this whole career thing? (A caveat: There are a few people who do find their passion and follow it. That's great, too. It's just rare.)

This is the lie: You're supposed to find your passion in your career and if you aren't feeling it, something is wrong with you.

Many jobs provide a means to support the rest of your life, and that is a great thing! Many people find their passions outside of work, and those contributions matter a great deal. Work isn't the only game in town.

If you are paid enough to live in the neighborhood of your choosing, great! 

If you have the flexibility to be home for dinner with your family every night or leave early on the occasional Friday, awesome!

If your company respects your vacation time, care-giving responsibilities, and work-life balance, that is priceless.

Of course, there are soul sucking jobs or times when you need to leave to find more challenge or a positive work environment. The message here isn't, "settle for a sucky job."

The point is that your job can be the foundation for all the other things you're passionate about - baseball with your kids, being there for your friends, refinishing your own floors, road trips, volunteering at the homeless shelter, playing Ultimate, writing poetry, building bird-houses, teaching tap-dancing, the list goes on and on. Your job doesn't have to be your passion. It can just be a job. 

My client likes his colleagues. The work he does is fulfilling enough. And he is making significant contributions in his church and neighborhood. Today he told me that he is "just going to enjoy it as long as it lasts."

You can take a page from my client and the Brits and instead of living to work, you can work to live.

Happy living!
Christina

*My client generously gave permission to share his story to serve you.