3 Easy Ways To Cultivate Joy

Time to read: 56 seconds

Like this little beauty!

I love having a mail bag of questions and topics from all y'all. A number of you asked me to focus on joy, especially when there are so many things to worry about. So, today I'll show you the easy path to joy.

Worry and stress are easy. You only have to read the news or pay attention to the constant changes in the workplace to find things to keep you awake.

Humans are designed with a negativity bias. Our evolutionary interest dictates that a rustling in the bushes prompts us to think, "tiger!" and run. If we approach those bushes with curiosity and openness, we likely get chowed and that's our evolutionary end.

The good news? You are not stuck with your negativity bias. Humans also have choice and intention. You can cultivate positivity and joy.

Here are three easy ways to cultivate joy:

1. Look for it. Joy doesn't have to be huge gestures and momentous events. Find tiny moments. Sparkling snow. Delicious bread. A bird. Your first sip of coffee. You don't have to wait for vacation to find joy. It's around you right now, even people in Zoom calls say hilarious things or have a cool painting behind them.
2. Appreciation. Take every opportunity to offer appreciation - to your family, co-workers, the barista, your child's teacher. Make it your business to be the one who sends the appreciative email or notices what someone has done.
3. Gratitude. Do I dare go all cliche? Attitude of gratitude and all that. Gratitude matters. For real. Go to bed at night and wake up each morning thinking of one thing you're grateful for.

Put these three practices together, and you will have more joy. Works every time!

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Be well and have a good weekend.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Do This Instead...

Time to read: 1:08.57 - I guess I could just say 1:09 but 1:08.57 sounds more scientific.

Find the magic

You awake in the night, worried about the next day. You feel behind before your first cup of coffee. The more you do, the longer your to-do list seems to get. That's overwhelm. You're trying to fit 10 pounds of stuff into a 5 pound bag and feel powerless to do anything about it. Sound familiar?

There's good news.

Overwhelm is a false emotion, which means that overwhelm is something you throw up as a shield in front of your true emotions to "protect" yourself from the discomfort of your real feelings. The bad news is that overwhelm keeps you spinning with no end in sight.

There's an easy (although not always comfortable) way out. Here's the prescription to manage your overwhelm:

1. Feel the feelings. Underneath the false emotion of overwhelm usually lies a martyr, the one who feels like YOU have to do it all. The martyr feels unappreciated. Unrecognized. Put-upon. When you feel the martyr, look underneath. You might find rage, jealousy, maybe even loneliness. Peek behind the overwhelm to find your true feeling and feel them instead.
2. Leverage the other side of martyr. On the flip side of martyr is love and magic. When you feel like the world is on YOUR shoulders, look for what you love. Look for the best expression of you. Look for the magic you bring to the people in your life and do more of that instead.

Here's an example: Let's say you feel like you are always the one to make social arrangements. You invite people to lunch. You make the dinner reservations. You resent that your friends and colleagues never seem to initiate. (Hello, martyr!) Perhaps what you feel is lonely. Maybe even pissed that no one else makes things happen. Pause. Feel the loneliness and anger. Then lean into the love you feel for your friends and colleagues, the fun you have when hanging out with them, and your magic as a connector of people. Then you can give your gift freely without the burden of overwhelm.

Without all that stinky energy, you'll have more time and more fun. You'll likely get a lot more done, too.

In coming weeks, I'll talk about the false emotions of blame, self-pity, and guilt. By March, you'll be free!

It's an honor to be in your in-box each week. Have a great weekend!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who suffers from overwhelm? Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.

P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.