What To Do When You Feel Helpless

Time to read: Today is short. There's a lot going on.

This week my clients and my own children are asking a question something like, "How do I keep going when the world sucks?"

I'm not a geo-political or historical expert, and this week's invasion of Ukraine must not go unmentioned. Russia's brutal invasion of Ukraine is painful to witness. I hear the helplessness. The fear that the bad guys win. The recognition of pure cruelty. It's hard to comprehend. It's hard to know what to do.

Keep 2 important things in mind:

1. Feel your feelings. Open your heart. Don't ignore what's happening and let yourself be heartbroken. Be human. This situation is worthy of your tears, anger, and despair.
2. You have to keep going. You have important work to do. You have important people to love. You have a difference to make in your corner of the world. Bring treats for your co-workers (if you see them in person). Call an old friend. Write a love letter. Volunteer to serve meals. You matter. Your work matters. The only way to counter bullies is to not give in. The Ukrainian people are showing that resolve. Help those around you keep going. They matter, too.

   I'll say it again. You matter. Your work matters. Keep going.

   And hope and pray for peace.

I Email (Text), Therefore I Am

Time to read: Email Mastery - Part 2 of 2. 1 minute and 15 seconds to read.

Last week I wrote about email as a distraction that we call "work." This week, I want to highlight another way that email invades your consciousness. First, a little background:

As an executive coach, I work from home, and I spend a lot of time with my dog alone. As an uber extrovert, I've been surprised at how ok I am with this arrangement. And, I love connecting - with friends, on the phone with clients, the person at the checkout counter, and other parents at my children's school. I love email. Email gives me an easy way to connect with all of you, and a great way to keep in touch with friends in countries far away.

And, email can get out of hand.

Geez, I hate to even admit this.

At times, email gives me a reason for being. Texting does, too. Tell me if you've ever experienced this (please really do tell me so I don't feel so weird): It's the weekend and you check your email more frequently than perhaps is necessary since no one is online, except they are, and when you receive an email (or a text), you get a little dopamine hit that says, "thank goodness, I matter."

Wow. Did I really admit that?

Here's the thing. I'm saying this as much for my sake as for yours. Your email does not equal your mattering. In fact, you matter just because you do, even if you never received another email in your entire life.

What does matter is your ability to connect. You matter because you show up, you're kind, and you make a difference in the communities you occupy, at work and in life. Your presence makes a difference to the people you love and even to the strangers who cross your path. That matters.

Your email has nothing to do with it, even if it feels like it sometimes. So, you really can put it down.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Wanna share the mattering with your friends? You can! Just forward this email to them and they can join us here.

What You Have In Common with 28-year-old Millionaires

I spent this past weekend at a wedding filled with 28-year-old Silicon Valley genius millionaires whose Teslas were plugged into the charging stations in the parking lot of a beautiful local museum.

(My 12-year-old son learned to pick locks, order drinks at an open bar, and dream that one day he would drive a McClaren because by the time he’s old enough to drive, Tesla’s will be so yesterday. Yes…well…that parenting note aside, let me get back to our regularly scheduled program….)

At the soldering station at the reception, I had a chance to talk to many of these incredibly talented cyber security experts. Let's just say they speak cyber security and live in a world with its own language and culture. They swim in water with words we mere mortals don't understand.

Which brings me around to you. You might think that in the face of all this genius and wealth, one could feel pretty small and ordinary by comparison. And, it struck me that you swim in your own genius, a genius that is hard for you to see because it's like telling a fish that they swim in water.

One man asked me what I do. I told him I’m an executive coach to which he replied, “what’s that?” I explained, “in the way that you get programming and cyber security, I get humans.” He understood immediately and commented that the folks in his company could really use some of that.

What I want you to see is the unique contribution you make. You bring a special gift to society, your community and/or your family every day. Own it, speak it, and learn to recognize the language you use, the things you do, and the water you swim in that is extraordinary to others and hard for you to see because you're the fish in the water.

In the face of Russian hacking and the Equifax scandal, I am grateful there are young hackers and jailbreakers (look at me, using the lingo!) putting their talents to use to protect our data, privacy, and national security.

I am also grateful that you are out there looking after finances or children or the regulations that make medical devices safe or healthcare or the law….I could go on and on.

Here’s an exercise to ground you clearly in your gift: Spend 5 minutes journaling about what wouldn’t happen or what would be left undone or unprotected if you stopped doing what you do every day. Who wouldn’t be served? What risks wouldn’t be mitigated? Whose needs would be sacrificed? Then use that data to stand solidly in your contribution.

What you do may not earn you a Tesla. What I do is certainly not going to earn me a Tesla. And, I’ve said this many times. Your contribution matters. You matter. You are a gift.

I am grateful for you.

With rebel love,

Christina