How To Look For What's Right

Time to read: 31 little right seconds

Indulge me. We got a new kitten and she's very right!

I'm going to get straight to the point today since y'all have full lives.

Instead of looking for what's wrong, look for what's right.

I mentioned last week that what you think and talk about shows what you care about. Change your attention, and you'll build joy and positivity. Try on these examples:

• Company reorganizing again? Try: Gives you and your colleagues something interesting to talk about….or….reorganization creates opportunities.
• Dog barks too much? Try: Your dog is lively and makes you get outside for walks….or….she's cute.
• Wrong food came to your table? Try: You get to try something new…or….How great that you know how to speak up for what you want.
• Tired of winter? Try: Cozy dinners. Reading by the fire. Skiing.
• Car accident? Try: Look for all the people who help….or…No one was injured.

Looking for what's right doesn't mean ignoring when you feel sad or when bad things happen. It means looking around to see all the things that are going right in any situation. This subtle shift in noticing will make a big difference.

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Have a great weekend, y'all!

Do This Tiny Thing #5

Time To Read: 26 seconds

The days are short. It's dark at 5:00 where I live. The holidays are coming. The tiny thing #5 is perfect for this time of year.

Mindfulness.

You might also call it focus.

The point is to bring yourself into the present moment. Pause. Rest your brain. Clear your thoughts. Tap into energy and awareness that is bigger than your day-to-day. From that place, you gain surprising insights, clarity, calm and sometimes even clear direction forward.

Add a tiny mindfulness practice into your day without any expectations. Here are some ways to do this:

• Start your day with a pause. Even if it's only 5 minutes.
• Stop a few times during your work day and simply sit quietly.
• Try out a meditation app. Deepak Chopra has a good one. I use 10% Happier. Others like Calm or Headspace.
• When you do things (cook dinner, write an email, talk to your parents on the phone), do only that thing. Give it your full attention.

This tiny thing is like a balm for your brain.

Share your creative ideas in the Corporate Rebel HQ Facebook group. Comment or join here.

Lessons From the Pandemic: Part 3 Finding Adventure

Time to read: 56 seconds

If you go to Thailand, the Reclining Buddha really is worth a visit.

A client of mine just returned from a wonderful vacation with his family. He made a comment about the contrast between the spontaneous surprises of vacations and the grind of daily living.

One of my core values is adventure and although I love a good international trip, it doesn’t take a grand gesture or money to find adventure. Adventure is a state of mind.

Consider this example:

Years ago, after 4 months of traveling, my husband and I made our final stop in Thailand. I remember sitting in a hostel in Bangkok asking:

Should we visit the royal palace?

Nah.

How about the famous Reclining Buddha?

Nah.

Truth is, we were done. Even incredible sites lose their sparkle when they become every day. We spent our final days in Thailand sitting idle on the beach and eating.

During lockdown, I walked one of 4 directions from my house every day. Some days I walked the alley. Sometimes the sidewalks. As part of my “keep Christina sane plan,” I decided these walks would be an adventure. I acted as if I had never seen these streets before. Birds became exotic. My neighbors grow incredible gardens. People discarded amazing stuff. Little Free Libraries were a bastion of discovery.

Now that travel is back on the menu, the grand adventure has returned. (Yay travel!) And, the pandemic revealed that daily living can be an adventure if you look at the familiar with new eyes. Expect surprises. Open to wonder. Marvel at life.

Here’s to a summer of adventures!

Want to chat about hosting our 90-minute Return to the Office interactive event for your team? Email me here to get more information.

Feeling Lost? This Is Why....

Time to read: 2 minutes

You are living in liminal space.

Liminal what?!

Liminal space happens between two things. You know that blue light time in the evening when it's not day and it's not night? That's liminal space. Liminal space is an anthropological concept originally used to describe important cultural rituals that move people from one identity to another (single to married, child to adult, alive to dead). You are in in-between time right now. Not in your old world and not in your new one.

When you're in liminal space, you feel ungrounded, rudderless, even a little lost. Does this feel familiar?

Keep reading for examples, why this matters and what to do about it.

Examples:

• You take a new job and give notice. Those weird three weeks when you are no longer fully in your old job and are not yet in your new job? That's liminal space.
• When a wedding starts, the couple enters as single people and are catapulted into liminal space until they are declared married at the end of the ceremony.
• A pandemic sweeps the globe upending life as you know it, leaving you uncertain about the future and the structures you rely on for security.

Like I said in the first line, every day is liminal space right now. You are between the identity and the life you had in January and whatever is coming next. You don't know when this will end or how. It's unnerving.

It's also powerful. All bets are off and the possibility for creativity is endless.

So, what do you do about liminal space?

1. Name it. Check! You just did that by reading this newsletter. Naming it takes the pressure off.
2. Keep going. Churchill said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." There is no magic formula. The only way out is through. You keep walking up that aisle. You keep wrapping up the old job. You keep walking the dog and making dinner. Keep going until you land, new and ready to go on the other side.
3. Find your protectors. In cultural rituals, people are shepherded through liminal space by friends and elders. Think bridesmaids and mentors. You are not meant to go through this alone. In today's world, everyone is in liminal space so you have to find your protectors and be the protector for others. And yourself.

I'd be honored to be one of your protectors as my clients are protectors for me. Thriving in Uncertain Times is the perfect place to keep going together.

We start on May 28 at 10:00 CT. This program is designed to be easy on the budget and easy on your time. You get 20% off your registration through Memorial Day. If you can't make the calls live, no worries. They will be recorded so you can put on your headphones and listen while you walk your dog.

A six-week coaching experience for Corporate Rebels

REGISTER HERE

20% off if you sign up by Memorial Day.

I look forward to spending more time with you!

Christina

How to Stop That Devil On Your Shoulder

Time to read: 39 little seconds

I was talking to a new client recently, and he told me that every time he goes to networking events, a voice in his head tells him he has nothing to say, no one is interested, and that everyone else is a better networker.

No wonder networking seems hard and discouraging.

Networking is a popular place for this negative talk track to appear. Perhaps, for you, the voice appears in public presentations, in conversations with your boss, during job interviews or project meetings, dating, in-laws or college reunions. Choose your favorite situation.

You can't succeed in networking, interviews or conversations when you treat yourself negatively.

To dilute the negative voice, try this:

Think about someone you love - a friend, a sibling, or one of your children. Now imagine them at the networking event with you following them around whispering in their ear that they aren't good enough and will never succeed.

Ridiculous!

You'd never do that to them, right?

And yet, you do it to yourself.

Again, imagine the person you love. If you were a bug in their ear, how would you encourage them? What would you say?

See where this is going?! At the risk of connecting obvious dots...

Say those things to yourself.

Networking (and presentations and conversations with your boss and interviews) just got a whole lot easier.

Write to me and tell me all about it!

Rebel love to you!

Christina

P.S. Know someone who could use a weekly dose of positivity and tips for being happy in corporate life? They can join here.

For All the Men. A Tough Love Note on Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day Rebels,

If you are a man or if you love a man or two, this newsletter is for you.

I'm going to cut straight to the chase, no soft start, no cute story. It's Valentine's Day after all, and I want to give you this loving gift right away.

• 1. Men, you are more than your job.


• 2. Don't wait until retirement to do the things that make you happy.

There are a number of reasons it felt urgent to make that point today. Here they are:

• Tom. When I knew Tom in our corporate days, he was a tightly wound, hilarious leader who loved his family and told epic stories of being at the office on Christmas Eve. He retired a few years ago and was finally working at the beer store and enjoying his adult children. Two years into his retirement, he died suddenly, and we were all crying in church while his children spoke.


• Frank: He retired and finally was taking the master gardening class he could never fit into his schedule. He died before he finished the class.


• Bill: When Bill called me a year ago, going to work made him sick to his stomach. In his mid-60s, he had to drag himself to his job every day and drag himself home with nothing to show for the hours at the office. Rather than doing the work of releasing the past and redefining a broader identity for himself, he decided to double down on his job and continue for 4 more years until he felt he could retire.


• My beloved father-in-law. He was an amazing CFO, loved doing taxes, and served on many boards until Alzheimers robbed him of his ability to crunch numbers and communicate financial strategy. He had no hobbies, and no outside interests, which left him lost.

I can name at least two other men who died within a couple of years of their retirement. My heart breaks every time I hear this story.

And that is why I wanted to send you this Valentine. You are more than your work. Who you are matters. Who you are to your family and friends matters.

If you feel like you have let your friendships go, decide to make some new ones. You deserve to do things you love and that make you happy. You deserve to take care of your body and mind even while you work. And it's ok to love working. I love working. Just don't put off the chance to develop other wonderful parts of yourself until retirement. You are loved.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Christina

P.S. Does your dad, brother, husband, best friend, boss need to hear this message? Forward this email to them. They can join here to learn ways to embrace their happiness.

Christmas Magic. It's Not Just for Christmas Anymore!

Time to read: A magical 49 seconds.

Christmas magic is available to you every day!

Greetings rebels!

Do you believe in Santa?

When my children were little, they'd ask me if Santa was real. My answer was always a fine line between my value of honesty and the fun of keeping the magic alive. My typical reply? "Well, honey. I believe in the magic of Christmas, and Santa is part of that magic."

Even though the Santa thing has been busted now that my kids are teenagers, I still believe in the magic of Christmas. Even more, I've come to realize that the magic of Christmas is actually present in every day life if you know where to look.

Do you experience magic in your every day life?

Try on these examples so you can start to find the magic, even at the office. This idea is not as woo-woo as it sounds.

1. You think you're late to catch a flight, and the plane ends up being delayed. You make your flight.
2. Your roof needs a repair, and you get a surprise bonus from your boss for just the amount to cover it.
3. You're tired, crabby and lonely after a hard day at work, and your best friend from high school calls to check in.
4. You stumble across that book in a used bookstore on... (fill in the blank)... that you've always wanted.

Sure, logic might explain these things as lucky coincidences. My husband said to me this morning when I was mooning over the magic of finding a lost password that "the googles know everything." It's possible that there's only luck or Google. And isn't it more fun to entertain the possibility that magic works in your life every day?

Look around and see what you can see.

Christmas magic all the time. Even at work. Now that's pretty awesome.

With rebely, Christmas love!

Christina

P.S. Share the Christmas magic with your colleagues and friends. They can join us here.