Hitting a Wall? What Is Going On?

Time to read: short. You're tired and don't need more things to do.

Like this one

About a week ago, I hit a wall... unmotivated, exhausted, crabby, unproductive, discouraged, and frustrated wall.

My family ate leftovers and take out. Emails went unanswered. Sleep was elusive. I could handle about one decision a day and if your need for my attention was the second or third decision that day, sorry, you'd have to wait till tomorrow.

Can you relate?

In the first few months of this pandemic, I was on fire. New programs for all of you. Cooking. Gardening. Reading. A new fish tank. Zoom calls. A few weeks ago, I published a list for the Corporate Rebel Masters (an ongoing community of people who have graduated from coaching) of the things I do to fill my energy bucket. It was an impressive and true list. If there is such a thing as winning in this pandemic, I was doing it. (Ha. My life's work to learn that my value isn't my accomplishments was apparent even in how I handle a pandemic. Can't a girl get a break?)

A few days ago, I couldn't imagine doing any of those things. Friends started calling in tears. Clients talked about low motivation and exhaustion. I was barely keeping up with the basics.

I'm eternally optimistic. I can see the silver lining in just about any cloud. A friend commented that it was disconcerting to see me be so dark when she counts on me for light.

What the heck is going on? I feared something was truly wrong with me that I wasn't coping better.

Then my friend sent this article. The term is "surge capacity." As you'll see from the psychological research the author cites, we humans are programmed to handle crises. We have resilience that enables us to handle acute stress and to surge our energy to meet it. However, that capacity is meant to be short term. We are not mentally programmed to manage a crisis that continues for months or even years.

We "surged," and now we're depleted.

Having a name for what happened to me was a great relief. I slept well last night and today, I can handle two decisions.

We're tired, folks. It's been a long road with no end in sight.

For the next few weeks, I am going to talk about how to recover and create resilience in new ways. Less accomplishment. More energy. You can get through this. You just need a different toolbox.

I'll be recovering right along with you. Please hit reply to this email and tell me how you're doing. If you're still riding high with energy, awesome. I'd love to hear what's working.

And stay tuned. I'm excited for something I have in store for you. I'll be ready to share next week.

With love,

Christina

P.S. A cool opportunity is coming next week. Keep your eyes open!

Crushed Between Working and Parenting?

Time to read: 2 minutes of pure validation and relief

The blissful days of parenting little ones

This one is for you, parent-rebels.

(If you're not a parent, keep reading as you know parents).

You are in an untenable position. The systems in the USA are not set up to support working parents under the best of circumstances. Trying to homeschool and entertain young children while simultaneously doing your job is impossible. If you are a single parent, the situation is even worse.

My clients and friends with young children face constant interruptions, no daycare, no school, no camp, and no peace.

Smart writers are sounding the alarm about the impossible position for parents in the Covid-19 economy. Read Deb Perelman's article, "We are Being Crushed," in the NYT here. Her article will validate everything you are experiencing.

What are you supposed to do? I put together this list as a parent-specific supplement to The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please keep in mind that I am not an expert on the COVID19 virus, the data in your particular location, or your family's personal situation. Make prudent choices for you and your family.

Here's what I've seen help working parents:

1. Accept the situation. Being locked at home with your children is less-than-ideal. The possibility that school could be closed in the fall is sub-optimal. You have to accept the situation as it is. Liberate, maybe even lower, your expectations so you can get creative. (If school is closed in the fall, I'll be challenged to accept it. You can remind me in the fall that I gave you this stupid advice.)


2. Examine your priorities and assumptions about what it means to be the ideal employee (available at all hours, immediately responsive) and the ideal parent. "Ideal parenting" and "ideal working" clash. You are likely holding impossible standards. Make sure your actions align with your priorities. To understand more about the clash of priorities for working parents, read this.


3. Raise the alarm with your employer. For the Covid economy to work for working parents, companies will have to get creative. Starting early. Working late. Split shifts. Fridays off. Mondays off. Talk to your colleagues. Talk to your boss. Employers will have to make changes in expectations and structures if working parents are going to have any chance of success.


4. Let go of guilt that you are failing at work and failing as a parent. This situation is hard. Don't add self-doubt and self-criticism to the pile on. If your kids watches 6 hours of cartoons so you can get to meetings, oh well. (See #1)


5. Vote for candidates who will take seriously the kinds of leave and family-work policies that make parenting and working possible in the USA.


6. Structure your home life as best you can. Create a kid-free work zone. You need maximum focus and productivity when working with kids at home so be clear that your work space is off limits unless the house is on fire or someone is barfing. Be efficient and focused when you're working. This may mean no "nice-to-have" meetings, no extra chit-chat. It sucks, and it preserves precious time for your family.


7. Form community with other adults in your life as much as feels safe for you. Tag team parenting with your partner if you have one. Create child-care pods with neighbors who take turns taking kids to the park. Bring in grandparents. Hire a teenage nanny.


8. Turn work off and focus on your family. The temptation to work all the time when you're at home is great. Turn off your laptop and spend focused time with your kiddos. They will interrupt you less if they know they have your undivided attention at other times, and you need the break.


9. Did I mention vote?

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Here it is again, The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please share it liberally.

Help! Working From Home is Killing My Productivity! 8 Tips to Keep You On Track

Reading this newsletter? 1.5 minutes Getting more done today? Priceless

My kitchen table office complete with seed packets, mail, and other sundry distractions

Today in the Corporate Rebel Daily, folks described how hard it is to stay productive while working from home in uncertain times. This group works across the country, in different industries, and is a font of practical and meaningful suggestions.

With their permission, here is wisdom from the hive:

1. Move your body: Regular exercise, yoga, dog walks - anything that gets your blood flowing. It doesn't have to be fancy or strenuous.


2. Change the scenery: Work in a new room in your house, go for a drive, work outside, or in bed. Change your perspective to keep yourself creative.


3. Get outside: Nature makes all the difference. As one person put it, "You can't be down when you're watching birds at the bird feeder."


4. Feel your feelings: If you're exhausted, feeling lost or find yourself staring unproductively at the same spreadsheet, your systems are likely clogged with unexpressed emotion. Have a good cry. Rage in your basement. Welcome your fear. The goal is to experience your feelings. Don't empower them or let them run your day.


5. Lower the bar: As one Daily participant put it, "I used to have a list of 10 things to do to feel good about my day. Now if I get my top 1-2 things done, I feel great." For many reasons (mental load, kids at home, systems issues) you will not get as much done working from home. That's ok.


6. Structure a routine: And make sure it includes lots of breaks. Nothing will kill your focus like back-to-back Zoom meetings. One Daily-er said she blocks work time on her calendar as no-Zoom zones. Another person takes 3 walks a day with his wife and dogs.


7. Take advantage of your best work hours: If you're a night owl, do your projects at night. If you're most creative first thing in the morning, take advantage of that. If you come alive at 2:00, save your most important work for the afternoon.


8. Strike while the iron is hot: When you feel motivated to work, work! (with appropriate breaks) Then when you feel done, walk away. Acknowledge when you've done enough.

Whew. That's a long list. It's 6:00 pm and I'm turning into a "safe-at-home" pumpkin. Writing this took the last ounce of my energy for today. I've done enough.

You have, too.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. People report that they love these free resources. In fact, my mother-in-law in a different state received the Rebels at Home Challenge from her financial planner who I don't know. Please share them with all the people you know.

1. Rebels at Home Challenge This challenge is a series of eight 3-minute daily video exercises to uplift you and help you find your place in this global pandemic. And it will give you something new to talk about at your next Zoom happy hour. Sign up here.

2. The Unconventional Guide to Working from Home: This is a downloadable pdf of practical tips and big picture strategies to help you be efficient, focused and effective at home. Click to download the pdf here.

The Who's Down in Whoville Like Christmas A Lot... What?!

Time to read: 46 seconds

I know this is a Christmas show. Bear with me. I'm making a point.

It's hard to know what to say during this pandemic, the appropriate balance of acknowledging the pain and devastation and shining light in the darkness. Today takes you toward light with my favorite cartoon.

The Grinch is my #1 favorite show of all time. When I was in second grade, I painted the Grinch on the library wall at my school. I've watched the show every Christmas for 52 years (assuming I watched it as a baby which is doubtful given my organic-food-limited-TV-no-sugar-1970s parents).

Anyway, the whole point of the Grinch is that this dude called the Grinch steals all the trappings of Christmas from the happy little Who's. When they arise on Christmas morning, everything is gone - food, toys, trees, decorations. The Grinch expects that he has crushed their spirits and listens to hear their cries of anguish.

And what do the Who's do?

They sing.

They stand in a circle and sing. This story speaks to the power of the Who human spirit. The message: your spirt is stronger than the trappings of your life.

In this time when you have been stripped of all the features of your life - volunteer activities, social events, shopping, maybe work, school, even planning for the future, your spirit remains powerful. Your spirit is never for sale, and it can't be compromised.

So, today, I wish you confidence of spirit. You are stronger than the circumstances that surround you. Lean into that spirit to find what you need.

Then sing.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. I wanted to make sure you see the free resources I've created to help you navigate these challenging times. Please pass them around to your people.

1. The Corporate Rebel Daily: We're in the 4th week of meeting every morning at 9:00 CT, M-F. A vibrant community shows up each day, and people report feeling uplifted, connected, and calm. You only have to join once, and then come whenever you can. Bathrobes and hoodies welcome. Sign up to get the Zoom link here.

2. Rebels at Home Challenge: This challenge is a series of eight 3-minute daily video exercises to uplift you and help you find your place in this global pandemic. And it will give you something new to talk about at your next Zoom happy hour. Sign up here.

3. The Unconventional Guide to Working from Home: This is a downloadable pdf of practical tips and big picture strategies to help you be efficient, focused and effective at home. Click to download the pdf here.

Want Instant Calm? Ask Just One Question

Time to read: Less than one minute

The world as you know it has turned upside down.

I hear from clients that they are worried about keeping their jobs, stressed to see their 401ks dwindle, and sad about the state of the world. All of that while also trying to stay focused and homeschooling children.

Today I have one question to ask yourself when you start to spin. (Thank you to Eckhart Tolle for this question.)

First, pause for a minute.

Then ask: Is there a problem right now?

If there is no immediate problem, let the worry and stress go.

If there is a problem, address it.

I love this question for 2 primary reasons:

1. It brings you immediately into the present moment which is the place to be to find calm and peace.
2. It reminds you that you have everything you need to handle whatever happens next.

As a talented and experienced worrier, I know that my worry is a waste of energy. Most of the time, the things you worry about never come true and when bad things do happen, you will be ready to handle them.

Keep this question on speed dial then email me to tell me how it helps. You can also pop into our Facebook community Corporate Rebel HQ or join The Corporate Rebel Daily, a free 30-minute check-in at 9:00 CT, M-F to help you ground and be productive in your new normal. Sign up once, and join when you can. I'll be there every weekday waiting for you.

On the weekends, I'll be in bed.

With rebel love,

Christina