Setting Goals For The New Year

Time to read: 15 seconds

Adorable vintage stuff!

Even though it's been well established that I hate New Year, I still evaluate my year each January and set intentions and goals for the coming year. I recommend you bring consciousness to your life and career. Your one-word (from last week) is a great starting point.

Then set goals. Use a loose definition of goals like, intentions, areas for growth, stretches, and improvements. For example, one of my goals a few years ago was " to eat lunch every day." That is not a high-minded professional accomplishment. Instead, the goal was to learn to nourish my body. Over time, the goal grew into a realization that choosing my body helped temper my "over-perform at all costs" mentality. Even the simplest goal can lead to profound changes.

This year my most terrifying goal is "take time to read (without freaking out)." I love reading and usually only do it for a few seconds before I drop asleep at night. This goal requires me to learn to "do nothing" (my belief) and stop believing I have to strive all day to earn the right to sit. Honestly, even writing about reading quietly makes my stomach hurt. Clearly, this is a worthy stretch for me.

What's your terrifying goal for 2025?

What's The Best Use Of You

Time to read: 1 min 2 seconds

Lately I've been thinking a lot about purpose, and what it means to spend your day living meaningfully and purposefully. This season of reflection is a good time to consider this question:

What is the best use of you?

You know you are at your best use when you feel "well-used" by the end of most days. When you feel like the way you spend your time uses your unique gifts and talents. When you feel a sense of satisfaction, even if you didn't complete everything or it was hard. When you look back over a week and are proud of the way you spend your time.

The best use of you applies to work and the ways you support your family and friends, raise your children, care for your parents, volunteer in your community, and interact with strangers.

The implication of your best use is that there are also things that are NOT your best use. Like, maybe someone else should crunch the numbers or do the design or direct the difficult conversation.

For example, details are not the best use of me. Communication and relationships are. So, I rely on others in my life (my assistant, and my husband) to manage details while I handle sticky situations and awkward conversations. My husband is relieved. And so am I. It's a win-win.

We need a world where each of us is performing to our best use each day. What's yours?

Caring For Your Fried Brain

Time to read: So, so short

I notice at the end of summer, everyone goes to mush. People want to enjoy the last warm days, and no one wants to consider deep thoughts. Kids return to school, and routines shift back to the activity of fall. It’s paradoxically a lazy and chaotic time.

While enjoying your last weeks of summer and preparing for the rocket ship that is fall (whether you have children or not), the next few newsletters will take you quickly and easily back to the basics.

Here’s the context: The human brain is more flexible than researchers used to think. Into old age, your brain can change and learn new things. Brain flexibility is called “neuroplasticity.” For the next few weeks, I am going to share the 5 elements to maintain neuroplasticity and give you one simple challenge each week to enhance that element for yourself.

We’re going to keep it simple and immediately applicable. Please share this article with your colleagues. They can sign up here..

My ugly story and what you can learn from it

Estimated read time: An entertaining and real 1.75 minutes.

Photo of my brain on fear, courtesy of Anne Lippin.

I hired a coach this year to stretch me in my business. In our first meeting, she did exactly what I asked her to do. She stretched me. How did I respond?

I freaked out.

This wasn’t just a little bitty, genteel lady freak out, either. It was like my vital organs were going to fall out of my body. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t work. I was thinking about giving up the whole coaching gig for a job at Whole Foods.

I was in a bad way and even as I laid on my couch crying to my friends, I was thinking of you and hoping to glean some redeeming value from my misery. Here's the value:

When you stretch yourself – you go for the big promotion, you take on the leadership role, you say the risky thing in a meeting, you hire a coach – you are going to feel afraid. If you’re not afraid, you’re not stretching.

I imagine you’re thinking, “Great. You’re telling me I have to feel like my insides are going to fall out?”

Yup. That’s exactly right. If you want to go big, you will be afraid sometimes and fear shows up in your body before your head can catch up. That’s a fact. The good news is there is a lot you can do about it.

Here are my hot tips, hard won from the couch:

1. Having periods of doubt and fear are part of the journey. A vital part of the journey. Through them you learn valuable things about yourself, develop more capacity, and know what it's like later to feel great!
2. Recognize your process. When faced with fear, some of my clients get overly analytical, apathetic, or avoidant. Recognize if panic (my favorite!) is a place you stop on your way to clarity and action. When your process is familiar, you can celebrate the freak out and know it’s an important stepping stone to your success.
3. Remember that you will not be stuck here forever. As your self awareness grows, you’ll be stuck in fear less often and for shorter periods of time.
4. Have your self care plan ready to go at all times. Mine involves a book, the couch, and my dog. Oh, and calling a bunch of friends. And meditating. And crying.

It’s not about preventing the freak out which is a good thing as that's impossible. It’s about recovering from it. Fear is a sign of growth. What you need is awareness, a self-care strategy, and you're ready to go.

Be afraid and keep going!

Christina

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