Feeling Overwhelmed? Do This Instead...

Time to read: 1:08.57 - I guess I could just say 1:09 but 1:08.57 sounds more scientific.

Find the magic

You awake in the night, worried about the next day. You feel behind before your first cup of coffee. The more you do, the longer your to-do list seems to get. That's overwhelm. You're trying to fit 10 pounds of stuff into a 5 pound bag and feel powerless to do anything about it. Sound familiar?

There's good news.

Overwhelm is a false emotion, which means that overwhelm is something you throw up as a shield in front of your true emotions to "protect" yourself from the discomfort of your real feelings. The bad news is that overwhelm keeps you spinning with no end in sight.

There's an easy (although not always comfortable) way out. Here's the prescription to manage your overwhelm:

1. Feel the feelings. Underneath the false emotion of overwhelm usually lies a martyr, the one who feels like YOU have to do it all. The martyr feels unappreciated. Unrecognized. Put-upon. When you feel the martyr, look underneath. You might find rage, jealousy, maybe even loneliness. Peek behind the overwhelm to find your true feeling and feel them instead.
2. Leverage the other side of martyr. On the flip side of martyr is love and magic. When you feel like the world is on YOUR shoulders, look for what you love. Look for the best expression of you. Look for the magic you bring to the people in your life and do more of that instead.

Here's an example: Let's say you feel like you are always the one to make social arrangements. You invite people to lunch. You make the dinner reservations. You resent that your friends and colleagues never seem to initiate. (Hello, martyr!) Perhaps what you feel is lonely. Maybe even pissed that no one else makes things happen. Pause. Feel the loneliness and anger. Then lean into the love you feel for your friends and colleagues, the fun you have when hanging out with them, and your magic as a connector of people. Then you can give your gift freely without the burden of overwhelm.

Without all that stinky energy, you'll have more time and more fun. You'll likely get a lot more done, too.

In coming weeks, I'll talk about the false emotions of blame, self-pity, and guilt. By March, you'll be free!

It's an honor to be in your in-box each week. Have a great weekend!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who suffers from overwhelm? Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.

P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.

Three Steps to a Powerful 2020 Plan

Time to read: 1 little minute

Happy 2nd week of 2020 Rebels!

It takes a few weeks, maybe even 4-6 weeks to clean out the debris from 2019, wake up from the holidays, build your momentum, and be ready to set goals and intentions.

I’m coaching at a spa in Mexico this week. (I know. Someone’s gotta live this hard life. In a future newsletter, I’ll tell you how to create things like coaching at a spa in Mexico. It’s a great story.)

I had a blast planning 2020 on the flight. If you had asked me to plan 2020 two weeks ago, I would have poked you in the eye and gone back to bed.

Here are three tips for setting your 2020 plans:

1. Wait until you are energetically ready to plan 2020. If it doesn’t feel easy, you are not ready. Don’t force it. Forcing just brings the energy of striving and pushing into your year. Bring the energy of ease and flow instead.
2. Be disciplined about reflecting on 2019 and creating a plan. When the ideas start flowing, set aside time, make space, take notes. Your plan won’t create itself.
3. Be open to surprises. When you do a structured reflection and planning process, the unexpected happens. Two of my goals for 2020 are to follow my urges (quickly moving past the doubt that stops me) and do new things. Before I sat down to process 2019, I didn’t see these goals coming.

Setting clear intentions and goals is a powerful practice. Your year will take off like a rocket before you even have a chance to write it all down. I haven’t finished writing my plan yet and today I handed my card to a fellow business traveler (following an urge) and I’ve taken up cross country skiing (something new).

Set your intentions and fill this year with ease and flow.

If you want my help with reflection and planning, reach out. If you want to tell me what you’re already doing, reach out. I love to hear from you.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who is transitioning to the new year? Share this newsletter with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.

3 Tips For a Successful Transition to 2020

Time to read: 1.05 minutes

This is the second time my dishwasher has been featured in a newsletter.

Happy New Year!

It's 2020.

Chaos is the name of the game. My clients are experiencing chaos. I'm experiencing chaos. Do these examples feel familiar?

• The dishwasher broke down.
• Your child showed up to the class he's registered for and discovered he's not registered.
• The scope on a work project crept over the holidays, and everyone on the team is confused about their role.
• You're not sleeping well.
• People are sick.

Here's the good news. Early January is a period of transition. Life doesn't immediately go back to "normal" on January 1st. The promise of the New Year doesn't take off on January 1st. It will take you a few days to a week to feel like the ground is solid under your feet again.

So, what's a Corporate Rebel to do in the chaos of transition?

1. Get to know and accept your process. You have a process that guides you safely through a transition. Some parts of your process may not be pretty. Mine involves a major freak-out/melt down. A friend's involves apathy. Move through your process (even the messy bits) with acceptance and grace. After my melt-down, I have a day of super efficiency. It's like a storm blows through, clears the debris, and sets the runway for take-off.


2. Be patient. Transitions aren't a one and done. Give yourself time to get back on your feet after taking time off.


3. Take one step at a time. You'll find a firm foundation one email at a time. One meeting at a time. All you have to do is write that one proposal. Send that one inquiry. Call that one person. Pretty soon you'll be on a roll.

Then it will be spring break, and you can come home from vacation and do it all again.

Mid-January through the end of February are the perfect time to reflect on 2019 and create an intentional plan for 2020. If you'd like to talk about a powerful 2-session process to guide you through reflection and planning, hit reply to this email and we'll set up a quick time to chat.

Welcome back, Rebels!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who is transitioning to the new yea? Share my blog with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.

Happy Bleepin' New Year!

Time to read: 56.48 seconds

I hate New Year.

I've always hated New Year.

Here's why: You are expected to wake up on January 1st and be miraculously different. But when you wake up, politics are the same. Your body is the same. It's the same world, layered with false expectations that everything will be shiny and new. I hate that.

Until recently, I've learned to enjoy New Year. (Don't tell anyone. It's much more fun to be the curmudgeon who hates New Year.) Here's what changed and what you can do if you are a New Year hater, too.

1. Change your expectations. Stop expecting everything to be shiny and new. Changing your expectations means you won't be disappointed when they aren't met.


2. Do something different. We started having people over and making sushi or taking sparklers outside in the snow. Throw out any prescribed tradition and make fun in your own way.


3. Go to bed. I never stay up to midnight. I like sleep. I like my cozy bed. If you like staying up, great! If you feel you should stay up, don't bother.


4. Make New Year one step in the larger journey of your purpose. The truth is, New Year is just a point in time on the larger journey of your life. Eight years ago, I started evaluating my year in order to set intentions and goals for the coming year. I love looking back to see how the past 12 months stacked up and by February or so, I have a document that steers the direction of the coming months. This process helps you stay on purpose and be conscious and intentional about what you create in your work and life.

I hope this helps.

I offer The Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan once a year as a stand-alone process. If you're curious to learn more, hit reply and shoot me an email. We can hop on the phone for a quick chat to see if this is exactly what you need to move forward with intention.

Happy New Year!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who hates New Year? Share this blog with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.

The Secret to Getting What You Want

Time to read: 1:01.82. I timed it.

Think about things you want:

• To be appreciated at the office
• To feel like your work is valuable
• To be recognized when you do a good job
• To have some "me time" on the weekend

Keep reading. This story will show you how to get what you want:

I'm an extrovert. (Are you surprised?)

My husband and children are introverts.

My weekends look something like this:

• Kids sleep late.
• Daughter gets out of bed, does homework, then takes a 3 hour nap.
• Son hangs out with friends, plays video games and emerges for food.
• Husband does projects in the garage and works.

I'm exaggerating to make my point, and I'm lucky if there's a party or play practice or hockey game, because those involve other parents. I would die without those other parents.

I understand my family's need to recharge after a week of extroverting at school and the office. And by Sunday, I'm chewing off my own arm from a lack of stimulation. I've been known to pick fights with my kids to generate interaction. I've complained that my family does little to support my social needs.

Then one day it hit me.

Why am I waiting for my family to fulfill my social needs?

If I need to see more people on the weekends, I need to take responsibility to make that happen.

Here's the secret to getting what you want: Give it to yourself.

If you want more appreciation, appreciate yourself. If you want to feel like your work is valued, value your own work. If you want to be recognized, bring a treat and recognize the good work at your next staff meeting. If you want more "me time," claim some time on the weekend. (My house has an over abundance of "me time." Come on over. I have some to spare.)

Here's to getting what you want!

All the best,

Christina

What Is "Reasonable?" Does It Matter?

Time to read: Take a 30-second break and read on!

I was working with a client recently and in the course of our coaching, she said, "It's reasonable that I quit that committee."

Well... yes... and no.

I paused her so we could examine the word "reasonable." She had committed to quitting. (You know you who are. Yay for quitting!) And, instead of owning her values and priorities, she was hiding behind comparison to others and the benchmark of "reasonable."

Reasonable doesn't matter.

Try this on:

You're driving down the highway at 70-miles-per-hour (speed limit = 55mph). So is everyone else. You think to yourself, "it's reasonable that I'm driving 70 miles per hour. I'm keeping pace with the other drivers."

Not really.

You are choosing to drive 70. The fact that everyone else is also driving 70 is irrelevant. You may feel like "reasonable" gives you cover, and it's simply hiding behind other people to justify your choices.

So, notice the next time you make a choice and call it "reasonable." Are you giving yourself a pass for something that feels out of integrity to you? Are you missing an opportunity to take a stand for your values and priorities?

My client took a powerful stand for her values and dropped any comparison to "reasonable."

What's the stand you want to take?

Comment on the Corporate Rebel Facebook Page and tell me all about it. I love to hear from you.

Christina

P.S. If you love the Corporate Rebel newsletter, share it with your friends and colleagues. They can join the fun by clicking here.

Celebrate!

Time to read: 15 seconds. Take the extra minute you would have spent reading to pause
and celebrate something!

Hello Rebels!

It's my birthday week. Although you all will kindly and generously send me birthday wishes now that I've told you, trolling for birthday greetings isn't why I'm writing about it.

I'm writing about it because birthdays are an obvious reason to celebrate. When I worked in corporate, our department was small enough that we made homemade birthday cakes.

Birthdays are not the only reason to celebrate. In fact, there are thousands of reasons to celebrate and all of them deserve CAKE! Try these on:

• It's Thursday! Thursday is the new Friday. Cake time!
• You sent 100 emails today. You are a rock star of efficiency. Reward = cake.
• You made a live phone call. Yay connection! More cake.
• You have a staff meeting. Bring cake.
• It's Monday morning. Celebrate the possibilities of the coming week. Cake for breakfast!
• You got everyone off to school, fed the dog, and got yourself to the office relatively put together. Eat cake.

See how easy that is? What else can you celebrate?

Happy Everything!

Cake time!

Christina