I Lost My Email. Guess What Happened?

Time to read: 15 seconds. Still time to join Rebooting U: 2 seconds

I got a new computer (battery died on old one, blah, blah, blah) and in the transfer of data, my email went insane (that's the technical term) and deleted archived emails.

How many? Don't know.

From whom? Have no idea.

At first I freaked out. I save all those emails for a reason - to reply to people later, as reminders to do something, or to remember something funny or important. I begged my husband tech support team to find and restore what was lost.

Then I realized...

Those emails don't matter.

It's been a few days, and the world still turns. No one has been offended. I have no idea what those emails were about. If they were important, people will email again or I'll remember what I said I'd do. In short: Nothing happened. Losing those emails was a complete non-event.

From this non-event, here are two lessons for you:

1. You think things matter that actually don't. The pandemic taught us that lesson in spades.
2. You can trust yourself to keep track of what's important. The pandemic taught us that lesson, too.

So, consider one thing you think is important that actually isn't. Remove it. It was liberating to have only 5 emails in my inbox for a few hours.

I hope this helps.

Awkward transition...

The second class for Rebooting U is tomorrow at 11:00 CT. You can still join us. Sign up and I'll send you the recording of the first class about Recover: Your Brain on Stress. You can get more information and sign up here.

If you're in the US, have a great holiday weekend.

What Is "Reasonable?" Does It Matter?

Time to read: Take a 30-second break and read on!

I was working with a client recently and in the course of our coaching, she said, "It's reasonable that I quit that committee."

Well... yes... and no.

I paused her so we could examine the word "reasonable." She had committed to quitting. (You know you who are. Yay for quitting!) And, instead of owning her values and priorities, she was hiding behind comparison to others and the benchmark of "reasonable."

Reasonable doesn't matter.

Try this on:

You're driving down the highway at 70-miles-per-hour (speed limit = 55mph). So is everyone else. You think to yourself, "it's reasonable that I'm driving 70 miles per hour. I'm keeping pace with the other drivers."

Not really.

You are choosing to drive 70. The fact that everyone else is also driving 70 is irrelevant. You may feel like "reasonable" gives you cover, and it's simply hiding behind other people to justify your choices.

So, notice the next time you make a choice and call it "reasonable." Are you giving yourself a pass for something that feels out of integrity to you? Are you missing an opportunity to take a stand for your values and priorities?

My client took a powerful stand for her values and dropped any comparison to "reasonable."

What's the stand you want to take?

Comment on the Corporate Rebel Facebook Page and tell me all about it. I love to hear from you.

Christina

P.S. If you love the Corporate Rebel newsletter, share it with your friends and colleagues. They can join the fun by clicking here.

The Biggest Lie You've Been Told

Time to read: Less than one minute

Dear Rebels,

When you were young, did you dream of your future? Maybe a job that earned a good living. A family. Time to pursue your passions and interests. Travel. Then, once you got that job, you poured yourself into it with gusto (or not). You played volleyball after work. You took painting classes or sang in a choir. You slept in on weekends and had dinner regularly with friends.

Then maybe you committed to a partner. Perhaps you built a family. You got promoted or changed jobs or went back to school. Your parents got older. Maybe you bought a house. Life got more complex and even though it happened over years, it seems like overnight you became exhausted, overwhelmed, and focused on life as a checklist of transactions. You used to feel like you had it all together and now balls are dropping, friends are a distant memory, exercise was first to go, and the "few tips" you've tried to regain control lasted all of a minute before everything snapped back to the relentless new "normal."

Does some version of this sound familiar?

I grew up in the 1980s when young people were fed the biggest lie of all time.

The lie?

You can have it all.

It's total crap.

Also total crap is the feeling that there is something wrong with you if you can't manage it all.

A wise mentor once said to me, "You can have anything. You just can't have everything."

Cue one of my favorite themes: Choices.

You get to choose your priorities. When you're trying to stuff 15 pounds of life into a 5 pound bag, you get to choose what to let go, what is non-negotiable, what can wait, and what you'll prioritize.

Stop beating yourself up for not being able to manage it all. No one can. It's a lie.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Know someone who needs to let go of the lie? Send them here to find relief.

What To Do When the Insane Sounds Reasonable

This is a story about my wedding dress. I happen to LOVE wedding dresses (like crazy obsessive love). If you are "meh" about wedding dresses, keep reading. There's a universal lesson here. Promise.

Here's the story:

Years ago when we were planning our wedding, I spent a lot of time shopping for a wedding dress. (Did I mentioned I'm obsessed?) I had a favorite shop that carried everything from $100 bargain dresses to $8,000 Vera Wangs.

Before starting the wedding planning process, my fiancé and I had responsible conversations about budget (small), priorities (our guests), and values (community, honoring our families, homemade). We were clear. We were committed.

Then I started dress shopping. The Vera Wangs were so well made. And so preeeettttyyy!The Lazaros had gorgeous hand beading and luscious fabrics. Before I knew it, it started to seem reasonable to spend $5,000 on a wedding dress. The more time I spent with wedding dresses, the more I was, like...

"What budget?"
"What values?"
"What commitments?"

Has this ever happened to you, <<First Name>>? Have you ever been so steeped in your passion and involved with a project or event that your good sense, values, and commitments just flew out the window? When this happens, insane things start to seem reasonable.

• The project goes over budget.
• You spend too much on that company dinner.
• A joking conversation goes too far.
• You redesign an entire campaign because of one small error.

When you find yourself heading down the path of throwing your values and commitments to the wind, do these three things:

1. STOP. Walk away. Don't make any decisions or take any action until you've had a break.
    
2. Listen to the people around you. Especially the nay-sayers or the ones who don't care about wedding dresses.
    
3. Know your weaknesses. (e.g. putting your foot in your mouth, spending too much, scope creeping projects.) Write down your commitments before you're in the thick of the situation so you can review what your sane self thought before you started.

My husband was my sane voice. And, I found a designer dress on sale. Whew. Totally saved. The wedding could proceed with the values intact.

I hope this helps.
 
With Rebel Love,
Christina

A Simple Trick You Will Use Daily

One of my clients needed to send some important emails this week. When I asked what was getting in the way of sending the emails, the answer was work, projects at home, a lot of blah, blah, blah. (This story is told with permission).
 
Instead of sending the emails by the wishy-washy “end of the week,” I had said client get off the phone during our session and send the emails right that minute. No room for excuses.
 
We all have blah, blah, blah that is stopping us from taking action on something important, maybe even something we really want to do.
 
Here is a simple strategy for busting the blah, blah, blah:
 
Do It Now!
 
Right now.
 
Like, seriously, NOW.
 
Stop reading and go make that phone call, send that email, do that thing that has been glaring at you from your to-do list. (Then come back for the punch line).
 
Go on.
 
I’ll wait.
 
Whew!  How did that feel?
 
My client called back for the rest of our session filled with relief and amazed that it was so easy to knock off the emails and get some important balls rolling. 

Sprinkle this strategy liberally through your day. Instead of spending your precious energy planning or dreading or anticipating doing the thing, just do it now.  (If I tweeted, that would be a tweetable). And be done with it.
 
Easy, peasy. Hit reply to this email and tell me what you did!
 
I hope that helps.

Christina