A Lesson In Uncertainty: 4 Principles to Live By

Time to read: 45 seconds

Election Judge! Election Queen!

In the wake of Tuesday's election, no matter who you support, we all continue to live in uncertainty. Coronavirus has left us in uncertainty. The economic down turn stokes uncertainty. I met with a corporate group today, and even in our daily lives, things like management changes and college applications leave us in uncertainty.

People tell me they're done with uncertainty. Exhausted. Over it. And it seems like 2020 is determined to hammer home the lesson of learning to live, love and thrive in the face of uncertainty.

Here are four principles to help you live and thrive in uncertainty today and forever:

1. Accept. Suffering comes from resisting your circumstances, not from the circumstances themselves. So, even in the face of outcomes you don't like, the first step is accept them. (Not the same thing as complacency or disengagement).
2. Honor your emotions. Feel whatever you feel - joy, grief, sadness, inspiration, anxiety, anger. When you experience your emotions for yourself, they will not leak out in your relationships.
3. Build your foundation. You choose your foundation based on your integrity, values, and ways of being. No candidate, job, promotion, raise, child, or even the resolution to the pandemic will provide your foundation. You are the thing you've been looking for.
4. Put uncertainty into a bigger context - perhaps the context of history or spirituality or human evolution. Looking at a 30,000 foot level opens new possibilities and allows you to see what's happening now in a larger frame.

That's what I've got today at a challenging point in our history as a nation.

I hope this helps. Reach out anytime. I always love to hear from you.

Be well.

Christina

What To Do In a Tense Election?

Time to Read: Less than 1 minute.

The tool that is bringing me the most peace during this election. See why below.

Alert: If you're sick of the campaign, this email is not about politics but rather about powerful and aligned process intended to help you find peace during this election. Enjoy!

This election is hanging over life like a dark cloud. The division, the chaos, the misinformation….I hear from a lot of people that they wake up at night, fear the near future, and find that relationships with close family and friends, sometimes even spouses, are suffering across differences of opinion.

Can you relate?

Hearing these stories breaks my heart and for many months this summer and into early fall, I was at a loss about what to do. Of course, my work as a coach makes a difference and the way I raise my children matters. And as the election crept closer, I felt pulled to get involved. But how?

In 2018, I tried phone-banking. I HATED it. I was so angry at the process and the waste of my time that the poor young organizers doing the debrief were glad to see me go after all the "feedback" I offered. It wasn't pretty.

This year, one of my friends, who is like the angel on my shoulder, whispered over tea on my front steps, "try this" and introduced me to my new political home: deep canvassing.

Traditional political conversations involve facts and badgering and trying to convince others of your opinion. To me that process always feels intrusive, disrespectful, unwelcome, and disconnected. People feel used. I have felt used. (Insert feedback to young debriefer here.) As a result, we avoid uncomfortable conversations and feel progressively more distant, even from those we love most.

Deep canvassing involves everything that I know makes a difference in people's work and lives. The process requires you to:

• dig deep and be vulnerable
• manage your instinct to convince
• be curious and open
• listen
• connect

Deep canvassing starts from the premise that people matter. That their life experiences matter. That as the caller, you matter. And the belief that it is possible to reach across the divide to find that we have more in common than we think and to start to heal our nation.

(If you want to learn more about deep canvassing, here is an article from Rolling Stone and one from The Atlantic. There is also a fantastic podcast called "To See Each Other." In the first episode, you hear how a woman transformed from alienating her loved ones to healing her closest relationships.)

No matter who wins this election, the US needs healing to restore our union. In my humble opinion, the only way to do that is to listen to one another, bring empathy and curiosity, and become vulnerable for the sake of connection.

This email isn't about getting you on the phones for the last push of this election (although if you want to do that, you can sign up here.) It's about looking for the conversations you've been avoiding with family and friends. For the people you've stopped calling or who have stopped calling you. And to find a way to reach out to them. When you re-establish those connections in your personal life, they become part of the greater healing we so desperately need.

Deep canvassing gives me hope. It is helping me and many others get through this election cycle and anticipate the future with optimism.

I hope this is helpful. Please hit reply to this email and share what you think. I always love to hear from you.

Be well.

Christina

It's About Building Your Capacity: Anna's Story

Time to read Anna's story: 1 minute, 36 seconds

It's a great day to be a Corporate Rebel!

Meet Anna.

Anna's CIO tapped her for a big project. Leadership trusts her. The project is strategic level work, will have huge impact and stands to make a big difference to her company. It's a plum opportunity and will set her career well into the future. Anna's excited.

And scared. As she put it, "It's lots of opportunity and lots of pressure." When Anna and I talked, she said, stress wakes her up at night, causes her to second-guess her every move, diminishes her focus, and makes her short-tempered. "Daunting" and "freaking out" describe how she feels.

Anna was relieved when I explained what was going on. She has the skills and experience. This is the perfect next step for her. And in order to keep up with the next step in her career, it's time for her to build her capacity. She joined Clarity U as investment in her capacity - her ability to trust herself, show up as a powerful leader, make efficient decisions, and streamline her personal efficiency and effectiveness so she feels confident in her new role. Her main goal? Knock this opportunity out of the park.

Here's what happens in a forward moving career:

You are given opportunities (or you seek opportunities) then you have to grow your capacity in order to succeed. Once your capacity grows, new opportunities arise. It's a toggle back and forth onward and forever. The problem is, capacity-building gets left off the table which results in over-working, stress, second-guessing, fear of failure, and control - behaviors which will either ensure your failure or leave you burned out and exhausted from striving to prove yourself.

Clarity U invites you to get off the hamster wheel of proving yourself and instead, build the internal beliefs and qualities that enable you to make powerful choices toward the career and life you want. Increased capacity = more opportunity.

Do you feel like you need one more certification to get to that next level? Do you sense a gap between where you are and where you want to be? I invite you to consider Clarity U. Let's talk ASAP. The door closes on October 21 at 12:00 CT (the time of our first session).

I have cleared time on October 19 and 20. Please choose a 30-minute spot on my personal calendar here. If none of these times work for you, please email me, and we'll find a time. If your intrigued, I want you get the information you need in order to take your next powerful step - whether that's Clarity U. Or not.

The cohort is filled with people like Anna who have declared themselves ready to create their future. Ready to join them?

I look forward to connecting. Choose a time here.

(And I know Clarity U is not for everyone. If you're, like, let's get back to the regular newsletters, We will. We're back to regular Corporate Rebel programming on October 22.)

I can't wait to connect.

Christina

One Practical Tool to Help You Thrive

Time to read: 56 seconds

Time to schedule on my calendar: 30 seconds

Actual time to chat: 30 minutes (You can choose a time to talk here).

Hello Rebels,

A few weeks ago, I took a three-day personal and professional retreat (more about that another week). I hit the wall with the pandemic, the politics, the homeschooling and needed a break. Controlling, pushing, and striving my way through this moment in history was not effective for me, my family, nor my work. I needed quiet time to reflect and create a smoother path forward into the chaos.

Out of this reflection and creation came a Survival Journal. I want to share a few of the elements with you and invite you to create your own Survival Journal so you have a consistent and solid place to go when you feel uncertain, afraid, and worried. Here are some tips:

1. Don't over engineer it. You don't have to have the perfect notebook or a set of sparkly colored pens (unless those things are fun for you). Just grab whatever you have lying around (like a half used composition notebook abandoned by one of your kids, not that I know anything about that).
2. Consider at 10,000 feet what brings you comfort and reassurance when things feel hard. Make your journal about those things.
3. Be free and open with the content. There is no right way to create a Survival Journal. Add things that are meaningful to you. Mine includes:
   • activities for this winter
   • TV shows to watch
   • powerful thoughts and quotes from my mentors and teachers
   • questions to ponder when I feel stuck
   • short descriptions of when I've seen magic at work in my life
   • reminders of physical practices that keep my nervous system calm
4. Let it grow over time. My journal is living and breathing. I add thoughts and elements frequently.
5. Make it your own. I can see verses from meaningful religious texts, drawings, photographs, pet stories, recipes, humor. When you create your journal, please hit reply and share your ideas with me. I have pages for more and would love your inspiration.

There is lots going on. I hope you find this strategy provides you a safe haven in the storm.

And of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Clarity U. Starting October 21, a powerful group will be cleaning out the mental junk in order to clear the path to the future. The goal: for you to be clear so can put work and life on your terms, even during these challenging times. If you've been curious and perhaps not sure if Clarity U is for you, let's talk. Choose a 30-minute spot on my personal calendar. Spots fill fast.

In the words of a participant from last year:

"Working with Clarity U gave me insights and tools that I use daily. This work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.) I wish I had done it 20 years ago. Christina and Anne are insightful and honest and two of the warmest and most encouraging people I have ever had the honor to know." - E.G.

People are scheduling faster than I can add spots to the calendar. We have extended the early bird price through October 13 (next Tuesday). If you don't find a time on my calendar by October 13, go ahead and schedule later. If you've chosen your time before October 13, we'll still give you the early bird price. Confused? Email me.

I look forward to connecting. Choose a time here.

I can't wait to talk.

Christina

Tools For Your Daily Life

Time to read: 45 seconds

Time to choose a spot: 30 seconds

Actual time to chat: 30 minutes (You can choose a time to talk here).

Hello Rebels!

A participant of last year's Clarity U group coaching program lives in a part of the country that has been especially hard hit by recent events. I called her a few weeks ago to check on her and her family. In the course of our conversation (she is doing fine), I asked if she uses her Clarity U strategies.

She laughed and was like, "Yeah. Everyday. I'll send you a picture." Then she sent me the above photo of her desk, covered in tools from Clarity U.

She said she uses the lessons she learned in Clarity U to calm herself when she feels stress. She uses her tools to de-escalate tension and conflict at work. She's even a calmer mother, laughing when she explained that the desk in the photo was soon going to be returned to a deer processing table for the hunters in her family. She's calmer, happier, and more productive. In her words,

"When I need to re-center, I look down, take a breath and feel like I’m safe."

That's the point of Clarity U - to fill your toolbox with actionable strategies that will make a difference every.single.day. In Clarity U, you will clean out the junk (old beliefs and habits) that hold you back and clear the path to design your future. You will be challenged and uplifted.

One thing is certain, the future is coming. (Winter is coming too, but that's a different reference.) There is no returning to the "normal" we had before. The national and international mood crackles with change. Now is the perfect time to do the work to be ready to embrace and create whatever happens next for you, your community, and the world.

Intrigued? Want to know more? Everyone who joins spends a little time with me sharing what's going on for you, strategizing solutions, and asking questions. Choose a time to talk on my personal calendar. Spots fill fast so I added a bunch more.

If you want to read about Clarity U, click here for a detailed information page. The early bird price ends on October 9 so let's talk before then.

Those of you who know me know that hopping on the phone won't land you in a weird sales vortex. These conversations are authentic and connected. My goal is to help you figure out your next step - Clarity U or not.

I look forward to connecting. Choose a time here.

In the words of another participant:

"Working with Clarity U gave me insights and tools that I use daily. This work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.) I wish I had done it 20 years ago. Christina and Anne are insightful and honest and two of the warmest and most encouraging people I have ever had the honor to know." E.G.

Take advantage of the early bird price by joining by or before October 9.

I can't wait to talk.

Christina

P.S. If you're sitting on the sidelines wondering if you should check out Clarity U, the answer is YES. Choose a time to talk here.

P.P.S. Know someone who is ready to take the leap? Please forward this email to them.

How Are You Coping?

Time to read: 2 minutes if you read both PSes.

Yup - I've seen all these seasons of the Bachelor(ette)

You don't need me to remind you of all the ways that things are stressful right now. Some days, the stress is so all-encompassing that it's hard to face the day. We are in survival mode - quite literally - and when in survival mode, you figure out how to cope.

Some coping is good.

Some coping is bad.

What are good and bad strategies, you may ask?

I have the most frustrating coach-y sort of answer...

It depends.

We can probably agree that violence against others is a bad coping strategy and finding homes for kittens is good. What about all the others like wine? TV? Cake? Work?

The answer goes back to last week's newsletter - know thyself.

Let's take my favorite coping strategy. My 16-year-old and I are on our 12th season of The Bachelor(ette). That's a lot of group dates, rose ceremonies and interpersonal drama. If you had suggested a year ago that The Bachelor would feature heavily in my mental health, I would have laughed.

To stay sane these days, something mindless and absorbing is not only fun, it's crucial. You can't consume a steady diet of politics and coronavirus news and stay mentally healthy. Mental breaks are vital. As a mental vacation, The Bachelor = good coping.

If I start to disappear into stupid TV to the exclusion of daily activities or you start to use wine to numb the discomfort of these hard times or if overworking is masking your feelings, then we've crossed into bad coping. Only you can know where that line is (that's the "it depends" part).

A glass of wine, TV time, and productive work may be exactly what you need to survive these times. Then know when your excellent coping has crossed into disappearing, numbing and denial and pull yourself back.

The Corporate Rebel coaching group is the best kind of coping. Fantastic colleagues. Consistent support. A step-by-step process to get to know yourself so you can powerfully navigate this moment in history and come out the other side ready for what's next.

Clarity U, will start in October. This program opens once a year, and I'd love to chat with you about how Clarity U will support and grow where you are now and where you want to go.

Sign up here for a 30-minute chat.

We'll talk about what's going on for you, what you need, and whether Clarity U is a good next step for where you are headed. For any of you who have worked with me, you know this initial conversation is casual, fun and productive whether you decide to join or not.

Here are some words from last year's participants:

"Doing this work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.)" - E.G.

"The Clarity U program has helped me in ways I didn't realize were possible." - A.C.

"I am so glad I participated in this program, it has changed me in ways I never expected!" - A.R.

I can't wait to connect!

Christina

P.S. Want to talk about Clarity U? Choose a time here for us to talk about what's going on in your life and career and how Clarity U will help you use the next few months to build your capacity for what's next.

P.P.S. Here's more information. Let's talk!

Do you relate to any of these statements?

• Life feels chaotic and uncertain, and you feel overwhelmed and depleted.
• You make decisions from a place of fear instead of empowered choice, constantly second guessing yourself.
• You’re simultaneously unproductive and working more than you ever have.
• The ineffective patterns that have held you back for years have intensified, showing up in work dynamics and personal relationships.
• You’re reaching for ways to get your life and work back in control and not sure how or what to do.

What's in it for you? Starting in October you will learn to...

• Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be easier and work more fulfilling during this stressful time and into the future.
• Gracefully navigate uncertainty so you are confident in your ability to handle change and instability.
• Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation so you can stand steady in the midst of chaos.
• Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
• Get clear about who you are and what you want, and bravely take action to make your goals real.

Searching For An Answer?

Time to read: 1.48 minutes

Where is that darn answer, anyway?

Last week I talked about the depletion of your "surge capacity." The sourdough bread, gardening, and Zoom happy hours aren't cutting it anymore. You need a new set of strategies to face the next few months of the pandemic and the ugly election.

Your brain is full so I'm keeping things simple. One step at a time. One idea/thought/recommendation at a time. This way, you only have to think about or do one new thing each week. Easy peasy. I have the attention span of a gnat these days. I need things to be easy and think you might need that, too.

Where to start?

How about here... I (and everyone I know) have been reading a lot of news. Last week I realized I was looking for THE ANSWER. I was looking for the person who is smart enough, who has a big enough vision, who knows what will happen next. If I could just find it, then I would feel less anxious and more in control.

Unfortunately, the answer is not out there. No analyst or commentator or friend knows where we are headed or what to do next. No one person has the solution or the power to fix the mess that we see on the news everyday.

The good news is that the answer is in you. You know what's best for you, your career and your family. You know how to take care of yourself. You have the power to change the world with your choices and behavior every day. You can trust yourself to handle whatever happens and that you have everything you need to manage the future just like you have always managed the past.

So, this week, look around your life to see where you are looking for the answers "out there" and start to bring your awareness to the answers that are "in here." This new awareness will help you feel more powerful and in control in a situation that feels very much out of control. From there, you can take action.

Awkward transition

I'm excited to announce that The Corporate Rebel signature group coaching experience, Clarity U, will start again in mid-October. This program opens once a year and the plan was to launch in early 2021. Your emails tell me that stress is high. You've told me you have a lot to figure out. A community of personal and professional growth is just the place to learn how to live through this moment in history with power, possibility and courage so I moved the start date forward.

Intrigued? Let's talk.

Sign up here for a 30-minute chat.

We'll talk about what's going on for you, what you need, and whether Clarity U is a good next step for where you are headed. (See the PS for a few more details about Clarity U.) For any of you who have worked with me, you know this initial conversation is casual, fun and productive whether you decide to join or not.

One of last year's Clarity U participants said, "Doing this work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.)"

I can't wait to connect!

Christina

P.S. Want to talk about Clarity U? Choose a time here for us to talk about how the current moment is affecting your life and work and how Clarity U will help you use the next few months to build your capacity for what's next.

Want to know more?

Do you relate to any of these statements?

• Life feels chaotic and uncertain, and you feel overwhelmed and depleted.
• You make decisions from a place of fear instead of empowered choice, constantly second guessing yourself.
• You’re simultaneously unproductive and working more than you ever have.
• The ineffective patterns that have held you back for years have intensified, showing up in work dynamics and personal relationships.
• You’re reaching for ways to get your life and work back in control and not sure how or what to do.

What's in it for you? Starting in October you will learn to...

• Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be easier and work more fulfilling during this stressful time and into the future.
• Gracefully navigate uncertainty so you are confident in your ability to handle change and instability.
• Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation so you can stand steady in the midst of chaos.
• Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
• Get clear about who you are and what you want, and bravely take action to make your goals real.