How Are You Coping?

Time to read: 2 minutes if you read both PSes.

Yup - I've seen all these seasons of the Bachelor(ette)

You don't need me to remind you of all the ways that things are stressful right now. Some days, the stress is so all-encompassing that it's hard to face the day. We are in survival mode - quite literally - and when in survival mode, you figure out how to cope.

Some coping is good.

Some coping is bad.

What are good and bad strategies, you may ask?

I have the most frustrating coach-y sort of answer...

It depends.

We can probably agree that violence against others is a bad coping strategy and finding homes for kittens is good. What about all the others like wine? TV? Cake? Work?

The answer goes back to last week's newsletter - know thyself.

Let's take my favorite coping strategy. My 16-year-old and I are on our 12th season of The Bachelor(ette). That's a lot of group dates, rose ceremonies and interpersonal drama. If you had suggested a year ago that The Bachelor would feature heavily in my mental health, I would have laughed.

To stay sane these days, something mindless and absorbing is not only fun, it's crucial. You can't consume a steady diet of politics and coronavirus news and stay mentally healthy. Mental breaks are vital. As a mental vacation, The Bachelor = good coping.

If I start to disappear into stupid TV to the exclusion of daily activities or you start to use wine to numb the discomfort of these hard times or if overworking is masking your feelings, then we've crossed into bad coping. Only you can know where that line is (that's the "it depends" part).

A glass of wine, TV time, and productive work may be exactly what you need to survive these times. Then know when your excellent coping has crossed into disappearing, numbing and denial and pull yourself back.

The Corporate Rebel coaching group is the best kind of coping. Fantastic colleagues. Consistent support. A step-by-step process to get to know yourself so you can powerfully navigate this moment in history and come out the other side ready for what's next.

Clarity U, will start in October. This program opens once a year, and I'd love to chat with you about how Clarity U will support and grow where you are now and where you want to go.

Sign up here for a 30-minute chat.

We'll talk about what's going on for you, what you need, and whether Clarity U is a good next step for where you are headed. For any of you who have worked with me, you know this initial conversation is casual, fun and productive whether you decide to join or not.

Here are some words from last year's participants:

"Doing this work has been more valuable than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.)" - E.G.

"The Clarity U program has helped me in ways I didn't realize were possible." - A.C.

"I am so glad I participated in this program, it has changed me in ways I never expected!" - A.R.

I can't wait to connect!

Christina

P.S. Want to talk about Clarity U? Choose a time here for us to talk about what's going on in your life and career and how Clarity U will help you use the next few months to build your capacity for what's next.

P.P.S. Here's more information. Let's talk!

Do you relate to any of these statements?

• Life feels chaotic and uncertain, and you feel overwhelmed and depleted.
• You make decisions from a place of fear instead of empowered choice, constantly second guessing yourself.
• You’re simultaneously unproductive and working more than you ever have.
• The ineffective patterns that have held you back for years have intensified, showing up in work dynamics and personal relationships.
• You’re reaching for ways to get your life and work back in control and not sure how or what to do.

What's in it for you? Starting in October you will learn to...

• Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be easier and work more fulfilling during this stressful time and into the future.
• Gracefully navigate uncertainty so you are confident in your ability to handle change and instability.
• Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation so you can stand steady in the midst of chaos.
• Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
• Get clear about who you are and what you want, and bravely take action to make your goals real.

Answering Your Curiosity

Time to read: Less than one minute

You were curious

Hello rebels!

In your responses, a couple of you asked if I would answer the same questions that I asked you. Great idea! If you're interested to know what I'm thinking about and struggling with, keep reading.

If not, go back to your waaaay more interesting email.

I don't mind.

Really, I don't.

Here it goes:

What are you thinking about?

I think a lot about the state of our world and the future of American democracy. I have read more news in the past few months than ever before in my life, and it's simultaneously fascinating and distressing. Most days, I'm hopeful and optimistic. Some days, I feel despair. I can't get enough of The Atlantic.

I think about racial justice and all kinds of justice.

I also think about my children more than they want me to and paint colors for the outside of our house and my garden.

Oh, and I think about food. What's for dinner is frequently the first thought I have in the morning.

What are your current struggles?

I don't struggle as much as I used to which is a good thing since I used to be a master struggler.

That said, I am struggling mightily with school in the fall. No solutions are good solutions and reopening fully (which is what I want) seems impossible. I would give up everything and isolate alone in my room if that meant school could open in the fall.

With everything else, I hold a lot of complexity and a lot of unresolved questions and contradictions. Like:

• How to maintain the march to independence for my teenagers while simultaneously keeping them safe.
• What activities are safe and which ones are not?
• What is my place in the movement toward racial justice? What is the role of my business?
• What's eating my butterfly bushes?
• Is it indulgent to buy a water lily?

Are you working too much? Not enough?

I'm working the perfect amount. The awesome thing about my business is that I LOVE IT and because I'm independent, I can respond to your needs and my own at different times and in different seasons.

What are the unique challenges you're facing in these times?

See the answer to "current struggles." School. I'm having a very hard time letting school go. With all my preaching about "acceptance" and "surrender..." Nope. Not there yet when it comes to giving up school.

And it's hard to know what to say when there are no answers and no one has been down this path before.

How do I make sure my parents are being safe?

What would be helpful?

When I say I love to hear from you, I really mean it. I love to hear what you're thinking, what your world is like, and what's happening in different industries and parts of the globe. So, reach out anytime.

With love,

Christina

P.S. The Rebels at Home Challenge is a fun time. Eight easy challenges over 8 days. It's worth a little slice of your time this summer. Sign up here.

Crushed Between Working and Parenting?

Time to read: 2 minutes of pure validation and relief

The blissful days of parenting little ones

This one is for you, parent-rebels.

(If you're not a parent, keep reading as you know parents).

You are in an untenable position. The systems in the USA are not set up to support working parents under the best of circumstances. Trying to homeschool and entertain young children while simultaneously doing your job is impossible. If you are a single parent, the situation is even worse.

My clients and friends with young children face constant interruptions, no daycare, no school, no camp, and no peace.

Smart writers are sounding the alarm about the impossible position for parents in the Covid-19 economy. Read Deb Perelman's article, "We are Being Crushed," in the NYT here. Her article will validate everything you are experiencing.

What are you supposed to do? I put together this list as a parent-specific supplement to The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please keep in mind that I am not an expert on the COVID19 virus, the data in your particular location, or your family's personal situation. Make prudent choices for you and your family.

Here's what I've seen help working parents:

1. Accept the situation. Being locked at home with your children is less-than-ideal. The possibility that school could be closed in the fall is sub-optimal. You have to accept the situation as it is. Liberate, maybe even lower, your expectations so you can get creative. (If school is closed in the fall, I'll be challenged to accept it. You can remind me in the fall that I gave you this stupid advice.)


2. Examine your priorities and assumptions about what it means to be the ideal employee (available at all hours, immediately responsive) and the ideal parent. "Ideal parenting" and "ideal working" clash. You are likely holding impossible standards. Make sure your actions align with your priorities. To understand more about the clash of priorities for working parents, read this.


3. Raise the alarm with your employer. For the Covid economy to work for working parents, companies will have to get creative. Starting early. Working late. Split shifts. Fridays off. Mondays off. Talk to your colleagues. Talk to your boss. Employers will have to make changes in expectations and structures if working parents are going to have any chance of success.


4. Let go of guilt that you are failing at work and failing as a parent. This situation is hard. Don't add self-doubt and self-criticism to the pile on. If your kids watches 6 hours of cartoons so you can get to meetings, oh well. (See #1)


5. Vote for candidates who will take seriously the kinds of leave and family-work policies that make parenting and working possible in the USA.


6. Structure your home life as best you can. Create a kid-free work zone. You need maximum focus and productivity when working with kids at home so be clear that your work space is off limits unless the house is on fire or someone is barfing. Be efficient and focused when you're working. This may mean no "nice-to-have" meetings, no extra chit-chat. It sucks, and it preserves precious time for your family.


7. Form community with other adults in your life as much as feels safe for you. Tag team parenting with your partner if you have one. Create child-care pods with neighbors who take turns taking kids to the park. Bring in grandparents. Hire a teenage nanny.


8. Turn work off and focus on your family. The temptation to work all the time when you're at home is great. Turn off your laptop and spend focused time with your kiddos. They will interrupt you less if they know they have your undivided attention at other times, and you need the break.


9. Did I mention vote?

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Here it is again, The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please share it liberally.

Want Instant Calm? Ask Just One Question

Time to read: Less than one minute

The world as you know it has turned upside down.

I hear from clients that they are worried about keeping their jobs, stressed to see their 401ks dwindle, and sad about the state of the world. All of that while also trying to stay focused and homeschooling children.

Today I have one question to ask yourself when you start to spin. (Thank you to Eckhart Tolle for this question.)

First, pause for a minute.

Then ask: Is there a problem right now?

If there is no immediate problem, let the worry and stress go.

If there is a problem, address it.

I love this question for 2 primary reasons:

1. It brings you immediately into the present moment which is the place to be to find calm and peace.
2. It reminds you that you have everything you need to handle whatever happens next.

As a talented and experienced worrier, I know that my worry is a waste of energy. Most of the time, the things you worry about never come true and when bad things do happen, you will be ready to handle them.

Keep this question on speed dial then email me to tell me how it helps. You can also pop into our Facebook community Corporate Rebel HQ or join The Corporate Rebel Daily, a free 30-minute check-in at 9:00 CT, M-F to help you ground and be productive in your new normal. Sign up once, and join when you can. I'll be there every weekday waiting for you.

On the weekends, I'll be in bed.

With rebel love,

Christina

What Does Covid-19 Teach Us?

Time to read: 1.35 minutes.
If you missed the Corporate Rebel Roundtable last week, you can still join here. (It's free!)

Covid-19 is all over the news. Last weekend, I noticed that people had purchased all the black beans and spaghetti at my neighborhood grocery store. A friend said Costco was out of toilet paper. People are canceling flights. Companies are asking employees who travel out of the country not to come back into the office for 14 days upon their return.

What does all this mean for the Corporate Rebels?

IMHO Covid-19 serves as a stark reminder that you are not in control.

You can have your 5-year or 10-year plan and then something comes along and changes your direction. That something may be a health scare, a new baby, following a partner's dream to a new location, a layoff, a new boss you hate, or a side hustle that goes viral and becomes your main work.

Covid-19 is making mincemeat of many corporate plans and affecting many individuals across the globe.

So, what is a Corporate Rebel to do when faced with the truth that you are not in control? (Start with a curse: Damn it!)

1. Trust yourself: Know that you always have everything you need to make the next right decision. When you look back over your life, you can see that you figured things out. You knew what to do. You took chances, and things worked out. Or they didn't and you made a new choice. You've got this. Whatever "this" is.
2. Take ownership: Just because you're not in control doesn't mean you throw up your hands and do nothing. Apparently, for Covid-19, you need black beans and toilet paper. (I bought extra chocolate chips. Priorities.) You do your work. You stay up-to-date in your field. You feed your network. You buy spaghetti.
3. Be open to the journey: You never know what will happen next. You don't know where your next opportunity will come from. Even crisis like layoffs or viruses have a way of bringing people together and opening doors. Covid-19 will force some serious conversation about how we do business and who knows what will come from such re-evaluation. This virus is a game-changer.

Promise me you'll still click the link on the Corporate Rebel Roundtable and share it with all your friends even though I am about to share an incredibly useful and distracting link right here. This blog post by Seth Godin is one of the smartest, most insightful pieces I've read about Covid-19.

Now, here's the awkward transition to the Corporate Rebel Roundtable. Please sign up to join us live on Friday, March 13 for a rich and meaningful conversation about work. Join here and share this link with your friends, colleagues, and business partners.

I can't wait to connect with you live.

Wash your hands.

Christina

P.S. Invite your friends to the Corporate Rebel Roundtable. They can join the Roundtable here.