What's the Common Denominator In Your Stress?

Time to Read: 1 minute, 38 seconds (maybe two minutes if you read every detail to the bottom)

Hello Rebels!

In my late 20s, I got a PhD. While writing my dissertation, I ate at strange hours, stayed up late, and became crabby and unreliable to my friends and loved ones. Once I graduated, I ran from becoming a professor. I never wanted to repeat the pattern of behavior that burned me out so thoroughly.

So, I went into business. The corporate world was a great fit. I loved the stimulation and the people problems in my HR and Compliance roles. Then the company got acquired, the industry was being overhauled by the government, and I was involved in creating a significant cultural change in our sales and marketing practices. I was staying up all hours and became crabby with my children and unreliable to my friends. I quit and vowed never to take another corporate job because I was exhausted and burned out. (Hmmm... Are you seeing a pattern yet? At the time, I didn't.)

So, I got retrained as a coach and started my own business. I was my own boss, could set my own hours, and determine my own priorities. Three years into my coaching business, I launched a big project and became crabby and unreliable and once again, burned myself out so thoroughly, I literally had to lay on the couch for a week.

At that point I was like, "wait… a… minute. I'm in my own business. I can do things however I like, and I'm still burning myself out. Damn it. The common denominator is me."

Insert wake up call.

Can you relate?

Do you see a pattern that you repeat again and again even when you are sure that changing the circumstances (job, marriage, location, weight) will fix it? Maybe you don't see the pattern, and you simply find yourself stuck in the same situation over and over.

Personal experience taught me that changing the circumstances fixes it for a few months or a couple of years and then you find yourself watching the same movie and wondering how it happened again.

I've spent the past two years diving deep and developing a sense of self worth that is not founded in my production and external success. I've learned tools and developed a relationship with myself and my purpose that is grounded in trust, joy, and fun. I've learned to work differently. I get just as much done. (In fact, frequently, I get more done.) I just don't go to burn out anymore. It's wonderful.

It's time to share all this learning and these tools with you.

Anne and I are excited to announce an exciting new group coaching program, the Corporate Rebel Clarity U.

This group is for you if...

• You react instead of actively making decisions which leaves you feeling depleted and second-guessing your choices.
• Life and work feel chaotic and disjointed. You find yourself running from place to place, slamming out emails, and feeling like you're not actually accomplishing anything.
• You fall into the same ineffective patterns that have held you back for years.
• Every year you think, "This is the year things are going to be different." Then they are not different and you keep going with the same old, same old.

Starting in early October, you'll learn how to...

• Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be calmer and work more fulfilling.
• Gracefully navigate transitions so you feel confident in the unknown and able to handle the changes that work and life throw at you.
• Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation. You will look back and wonder why you didn't address this stuff sooner.
• Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
• Get clear about what you want and bravely take action toward making your goals real.

We'd love to chat to see if The Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group is a good fit to help you put work and life on your terms. This link will take you to Christina's personal calendar to schedule a casual 30-minute chat. We'll talk about what's going on in your life, develop a solution or two, and determine whether our group program is the right next step.

You can also hit reply to this email to set up a time in the next few week or reach out to Christina or Anne privately with questions or inquiries.

christina@boydsmithcoaching.com

annelippin@gmail.com

We'd love to work with you. Truly.

With Rebel Hugs,

Christina

P.S. Are you ready to take action in your life? Let's talk! Click this link to choose a 30-minute spot on my calendar. We'll talk about what's going on and whether Corporate Rebel Clarity U is a good fit.

P.P.S. We are hosting the Corporate Rebel Clarity U Coaching Group online so you can participate from anywhere in the world.

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to join you. Simply forward this email to them. They can sign up to chat here.

The Lies You Believe And The Truth Behind Them

Time to read: 1 minute, 36 seconds

Hello Rebels!

One of my clients (let's call her Stacy) called me dreading her mid-term review. She hated the fact that her VP didn't understand her department's role and even worse, he didn't seem to care. She felt like she spent her precious one-on-one time justifying her work, explaining why it mattered, and trying to convince him to care. She didn't know what he wanted and found their conversations frustrating and discouraging.

Does this sound familiar in your corporate job?

Stacy and I talked about the one thing she could control - herself. She believed a number of lies, and those lies were holding her back. We uncovered the truth and prepped her to step powerfully into her review.

Try these on:

The lie: She has to justify herself and her team's work.

The truth: You have nothing to justify. You get to have your passions, and your passion is not diminished if your boss doesn't share your level of excitement. Your job is to share your excitement and help your boss come along.

The lie: She needs her boss's validation for her leadership to be worthy and her team's work to be valuable.

The truth: Your success as a leader does not come from your boss's validation. It comes from how you show up, the way you manage your team, and the way you hold yourself as a powerful leader. Going in apologetic or pleading is not empowering. Instead, know your value and tell the story of your team's success.

The lie: That her boss doesn't care.

The truth: Your boss cares a great deal. He/She may care about different things than you do. As a direct report, your job is to figure out what keeps your boss up at night and how your work fits into the big picture your boss has to manage.

The lie: There's nothing she can do.

The truth: You always have more influence than you think you do. Stacy wanted to know what her boss needed from her so instead of guessing, she asked him. He told her what he needed, and she emailed me to say, "It was a great conversation. THANK YOU!!!!!"

Stacy moved from being her own worst enemy (believing in her lack of power, apologizing and justifying herself) to being her own best friend. She walked into her review powerful and in charge. That changed everything.

If you want a dose of this kind of power, join me and my BFF for our Corporate Rebel Rethinking U Webinar on August 20th at 11:00 am CT. You can register here.

Can't wait to see you on the inside!

Christina

P.S. Did you love the Quiet the Noise Challenge? Do you have friends who could use a little dose of positivity and hope in their corporate job? Invite them to join you for the Rethinking U Webinar on August 20 at 11:00 am CT. Send them here. You'll be glad you spent the hour with us.

Refreshing Your Spirit

Time to read: 30 seconds

Gwynn Valley at sunset

Hello Rebels,

I'm away at camp.

I spend three weeks working at my children's summer camp in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. In a departure from my regular life of coaching and momming, I spend my days as the Miller (as in grain and an actual water-powered mill) where I take children through a farm to table experience that involves lots of corn and lots of food. (It also involves dead fish, which is a story for another day.)

At camp, there is little cell service, spotty wifi, no TV or technology, lots of fresh air, baby animals, and hundreds of children. Even though I end each day covered in cornmeal and drop in bed exhausted at night, I am grateful I get to spend so much time each summer playing with children. They refresh my spirit.

As we prepare to start the Quiet the Noise Challenge, I invite you to consider what refreshes your spirit.

Where can you step outside your usual existence, even if only for a few minutes or a day? What can you do or where can you go to quiet the noise in your life for a while?

If you'd like a quick daily practice starting on August 5, our challenge is just the thing. You can join us here.

Anne and I look forward to seeing you there!

Christina

P.S. If you're excited for the challenge, please invite some friends to join by forwarding this email to them. They can sign up here.

Stop Wasting Your Time and Energy

Time to read: 56 seconds

Actual teen has been changed to protect privacy.

I was driving my 15-year-old to work in silence this morning. If you've lived with a teenager, you know that morning isn't their most vibrant time of day. After 15 minutes of silence, she got out of the car. I asked her a simple question which was met with the icy teen stare and something like, "Mom, you're always asking stuff like that. It's so annoying."

I pointed out to her that I had said, like, 3 words to her all morning. She responded, "Yeah, three annoying words."

Here's what's important to you about this interaction. Many times throughout your day, you are either on the giving or receiving end of your version of 3 annoying words. People say rude things to you. People respond in unpredictable ways to the things you say, and you have to clean it up.

In these moments, you have a choice.

You can get upset, make up stories about the deep implications of the interaction, and let the situation hijack your entire day (thereby killing your creativity, sucking your energy, and rendering you unproductive and crabby), or you can laugh, recognize that the interaction was nothing personal and move on to use your energy and creativity to move forward on the things you want.

The choice to ruminate or let go makes all the difference in the kind of day you'll have and how much you get done. Don't waste your time and energy creating unnecessary noise.

(Oh, and if you want some help to quiet the unnecessary noise, join the Corporate Rebel Quiet the Noise Challenge right here.)

I hope this helps!

Christina

P.S. If you find that it is hard to resist creating unnecessary noise in your work and life, join my BFF, Anne Lippin, and me for the Corporate Rebel Quiet the Noise 7-Day Challenge. Be done with wasted time and energy. Join us here.

The First Step To Get What You Want

Time to read: less than one little minute

Earlier this summer, my children and I spent a week at my parents' house clearing the clutter and hosting a yard sale. Even while schlepping boxes and sorting the toys from my 1970s childhood (bye-bye Spirograph), I think of YOU.

The goal in clearing the clutter from my parents' home is to free them to enjoy the things they love and to ensure that the house remains one they can manage and stay in for a very long time.

What does my parents' yard sale have to do with you?

This...

The first step to move toward the future you want is to clear the clutter. In your life, the clutter might be old thoughts that no longer serve you. It might be saying adios to friends who don't make you feel good about yourself anymore. It may literally be about trashing projects you're never going to do or clearing off your desk so you can focus. All of this clutter clogs your mental and energetic pipes and makes it impossible to move forward.

You know the experience. You try a few tips you read online and even though things feel smoother for a few days, you revert right back to the doubt, fear, and inaction.

Here are three simple ways to clear clutter from your life in order to create space to move toward the things you want:

1. Clear physical stuff. Clean out your closet. Get rid of actual stuff.
2. Clear the mental stuff. Challenge the disempowering beliefs. Dump the doubts and negative thinking.
3. Join the Corporate Rebel Quiet the Noise Challenge. My BFF, Anne, and I will spend 7 days cleaning out your pipes and getting you on the path to what you want. It's like a yard sale for your mind and soul. You can join us here.

Can't wait to spend more time with you!

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. If your friends and family have clutter - mental, physical or otherwise, invite them to join you in the Corporate Rebel Quiet the Noise Challenge. They can join the fun here.

Three Cheers For Your Freedom!

Time to read: 30 seconds because you have BBQ to eat and fireworks to watch!

Even though the 4th of July is a distinctly American holiday, around the globe, nations mark their independence from tyranny and external control in celebrations of all sorts. Keep reading to see what this holiday has to do with your life and work.

In those idealized stories of nationhood, bands of ill-equipped, untrained and determined rebels threw off the shackles of domination and colonization by much bigger powers. Passion, tenacity and the desire for self-determination led citizens to take a stand for their freedom.

They did not wait for someone to give them freedom. They believed that independence was their birthright. They believed they had the power to create their own reality. They put those beliefs into action that ultimately led to their independence.

These stories are idealized. Hypocrisy and oppression are baked into the reality of these independence stories. We can't and shouldn't ignore the complexity. Both the passion and the hypocrisy are part of the narrative.

And this brings me to you on this festive 4th of July. Freedom from tyranny is your birthright, even when that tyranny is your own beliefs and choices. The path to liberation is complicated, messy and far from ideal. Don't let the complexity and messiness become an excuse for inaction. You have the power of self-determination. It's simply (HA!) a matter of clearing the clutter from your mind so you can see the path forward.

Happy 4th of July, everyone.

I raise a glass to your freedom!

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who wants to be liberated from the tyranny of their own beliefs and choices, simply forward this email to them. They can join us here.

P.P.S. Very soon, my BFF, Anne Lippin, MD and I are launching a cool weeklong challenge that will help you quiet the noise. I don't know about you, but our lives can get very noisy. We've created this challenge to help you clear the path to your freedom. Stay tuned. Coming soon!

Find the Good People

Time to read: Less than one minute.

The stolen bike

Hello Corporate Rebels,

Sometimes bad things happen.

A project you love gets taken away. One of your work friends gets laid off. You lose all the data you spent the past 5 hours working on. It's discouraging when stuff like this happens.

Last week, my son's bike was stolen from our fenced yard. Thus ensued frustration, disappointment, and sadness that someone would do such a thing.

Then an amazing thing happened. I posted the above photo to a local Facebook page devoted to finding stolen bikes. Through this page, I discovered a whole team of folks who track stolen bikes, link them to bikes for sale online and uncover data to help the police catch the ring of thieves who ransacked our neighborhood (and many others) for bikes last weekend. Individuals have contacted me with tips. I have connected them to the investigating officer. These folks are doing incredible work simply because they have the skills, interest, and will.

It has been uplifting to meet the "Robin Hoods" as I have started calling them. They don't have to do this work and have no personal stake in my son's bike. Interacting with them reminds me to have faith in the goodness of human beings and our power to make a difference when we care and take action.

When you look around your workplace, where do you see the Robin Hoods? When things feel hard or discouraging, look for the folks who do what they do simply because they have the skills, they care, and they're willing to take action to change things. Then hang out with those folks a lot.

It makes the things that suck a whole lot better.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or colleague who needs a little help to see the bright side today? Forward this newsletter to them. They can join us here.

P.P.S. My BFF, Anne Lippin and I are cooking up something fun to rev some momentum in the lazy month of August. Stay tuned!