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Time to read: This one blew my mind. So, 5 seconds to read. A day or two to recover from your blown mind.
The future creates your present (not your past). You have infinite possible futures. Are you currently aligned with the one you want?
And if you're not, what do you need to change to get aligned?
Love to you,
Christina
Time to read: Less than 2. 5 minutes
Guilty Dog
Last week, I promised you that we would deal with false emotions for the month of February.
Today is GUILT day! Yaaaaaaay!
You know guilt. You feel guilty when you don't call your mother enough. You feel guilty when you say, "let's get together for lunch," and then you never call. You feel guilty when you say no to a project, and it lands on your colleague's plate.
Like overwhelm from last week, guilt is a false emotion.
I'm going to give it to you straight.
Guilt is a shield you put up to make yourself feel like you're doing something when you aren't. If you feel guilty about not visiting your parents more often, then you're doing something about not visiting them, right?
Nope.
Nice try.
Like all false emotions, look underneath to see what's really going on.
Here's an example so you can see how this works: Let's say you never get together with some old friends, and you feel guilty every time you say no to their invitations. First, identify your true feelings. You might feel remorse that you actually don't want to get together with these friends anymore. Or remorse that you've grown apart from them as your lives have taken different directions. Allow yourself your sadness, loss and remorse.
Once you've cleared the feelings, then you can decide what to do. Maybe it's time to say goodbye. Maybe you need to redesign your relationship with them. Now that you have a baby, you're just not interested in hanging out at the bar anymore. Perhaps there's a new way to hang out together. Maybe there's one person you want to see and you're done with the others. Double down on that one friendship instead.
See how this works?
Coming soon: blame and self-pity.
So fun.
Remember: Getting honest with yourself about the shield of false emotions will liberate you! It's worth the effort to build your awareness and feel your feelings.
It's an honor to be in your in-box each week. Have a great weekend!
With rebel love,
Christina
P.S. Know someone who suffers from guilt? Oh yes. This is a popular one. Forward this newsletter them. They can sign up to join us here.
P.P.S. January and February are the perfect time to review 2019 and plan for 2020. Reach out if you'd like to explore an intentional plan for 2020.
Estimated read time: just under one minute
You can be free! And keep your job. At the same time.
I hear from many people that their anxiety about work runs high. The economy is bad. They've lost their mojo. They feel stuck, pigeon-holed. They don't know the way out of the rut. Does this sound familiar?
My client, Todd, was run by anxiety. He was short-tempered in meetings, and his team's performance was suffering. He believed that only a buttoned up, carefully controlled version of himself was welcome at the office. That belief was stifling his creativity and happiness, and the stress of stuffing important parts of himself was coming out sideways. The anxiety was killing him and his team.
Working everyday from anxiety is never going to get you what you want. Certainly, it affects things like your sleep and fun, but it also affects your performance and engagement and therefore your opportunities, promotions and at the end of the day, your money. Todd turned his anxiety around, and you can, too.
In coaching, Todd created practices to manage his anxiety and took risks to bring the creative, funky parts of himself to work. He got familiar with his own unique processes and strengths. As a result, Todd's anxiety was gone. He became physically active again. His team got happy and productive. He became a vital, positive contributor in meetings, and his director couldn't believe the fast turnaround.
You can learn to manage your anxiety to take charge of your life and choices again. You can find meaning and bring joy and creativity back to your day.
If you feel ready to lose the anxiety and claim your success, let's hop on the phone. In 30 minutes, we'll create an anxiety-busting, creativity building strategy that will send you back to the office transformed. Email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com to schedule a time with me.
I can't wait to connect.
Christina
P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.Estimated read time: 1:16.27 minutes
No cubes, real or imagined, were harmed for the creation of this newsletter.
Meet Carole.*
*Carole's story is told with permission. In Carole's words, "Sure! I’m flattered."
When Carole walked into the conference room for the women's leadership program I was facilitating, she wore a tight bun, a polo shirt and what can only be described in 1950s terms as "slacks."
She was buttoned up.
As we spent time talking about the program topics like navigating politics and developing a business persona, I started to notice subtle things about Carole, like a pair of Saturn earrings or the cape she quickly removed when she walked in from the cold.
In our third session, we did a feedback exercise where the group shared what they wanted to see more of in each other. The other women wrote things on Carole's board like, "I wonder what it would be like if you wore your hair down and let your creativity fly?" After reading the feedback, Carole told the group in a stricken voice, "It's clear that I'm not fooling anyone."
In our next session, Carole said she realized how much she had sacrificed to fit some made-up image of a successful corporate professional. She decided to embrace her creative, rebelicious self, and let her masses of curly hair down, literally and figuratively. She started wearing the loose, creative clothes she loves and donned her giant jewelry, too. And she was right, her gorgeous hair looks just like Hermione from Harry Potter.
Carole liberated herself from the sense that she had to be a certain way to be successful in corporate environment.
Here's what she wrote in an email a few weeks later:
"I also decorated my cube with some colored fabric and art to express my personality, and have gotten a lot of positive feedback on being more authentic in both my décor and my appearance. I’m definitely getting a more positive vibe from people, and I’m more relaxed and open myself, too."
You are not fooling anyone, either.
Here's a challenge for you: Where will you let your hair down, literally or metaphorically, to be who you truly are - at the office and at home?
I hope Carole's story inspires you as much as it did me.
Love to all of you!
Christina
P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.