What To DoWhen You Feel Helpless to Make a Difference

When unspeakable, heartbreaking, and bewildering things like Las Vegas happen, it leaves people like me feeling inadequate to know what to say. Silence isn't acceptable nor do I want to respond with a pat or simplistic comment.

So, first of all, my heart and prayers go out to anyone who is touched by recent events in the world - Las Vegas, Canada, Puerto Rico, Syria (to name only a few) - and any of you who feel the pain of these events even if they don't directly affect your world.

As I've processed the shooting in Las Vegas, I keep coming back to one thing.

The power of an individual.

In this case, it is the power of an individual to wreak terrible destruction, and certainly there are despicable models throughout history to prove that point.

Which brings me to you.

You matter. What you do every day matters. The way you behave towards others matters as does the way you treat yourself. If one individual can send out the ripple effect of so much pain, one individual can also send out the ripple effect of so much joy, gratitude, goodness, and peace. You have the power to be all those things every day.

Here's challenge:

When you close this email, immediately do one thing to point humanity toward the light. Call an old friend. Send an email to express gratitude. Bring coffee to a colleague. Step into the next cube and express your appreciation. Donate to the Red Cross.

This quote from the Dalai Lama hung on the bulletin board of my children's school all last year:

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

Be the rebel love today and always.

Christina

What To Do When the Insane Sounds Reasonable

This is a story about my wedding dress. I happen to LOVE wedding dresses (like crazy obsessive love). If you are "meh" about wedding dresses, keep reading. There's a universal lesson here. Promise.

Here's the story:

Years ago when we were planning our wedding, I spent a lot of time shopping for a wedding dress. (Did I mentioned I'm obsessed?) I had a favorite shop that carried everything from $100 bargain dresses to $8,000 Vera Wangs.

Before starting the wedding planning process, my fiancé and I had responsible conversations about budget (small), priorities (our guests), and values (community, honoring our families, homemade). We were clear. We were committed.

Then I started dress shopping. The Vera Wangs were so well made. And so preeeettttyyy!The Lazaros had gorgeous hand beading and luscious fabrics. Before I knew it, it started to seem reasonable to spend $5,000 on a wedding dress. The more time I spent with wedding dresses, the more I was, like...

"What budget?"
"What values?"
"What commitments?"

Has this ever happened to you, <<First Name>>? Have you ever been so steeped in your passion and involved with a project or event that your good sense, values, and commitments just flew out the window? When this happens, insane things start to seem reasonable.

• The project goes over budget.
• You spend too much on that company dinner.
• A joking conversation goes too far.
• You redesign an entire campaign because of one small error.

When you find yourself heading down the path of throwing your values and commitments to the wind, do these three things:

1. STOP. Walk away. Don't make any decisions or take any action until you've had a break.
    
2. Listen to the people around you. Especially the nay-sayers or the ones who don't care about wedding dresses.
    
3. Know your weaknesses. (e.g. putting your foot in your mouth, spending too much, scope creeping projects.) Write down your commitments before you're in the thick of the situation so you can review what your sane self thought before you started.

My husband was my sane voice. And, I found a designer dress on sale. Whew. Totally saved. The wedding could proceed with the values intact.

I hope this helps.
 
With Rebel Love,
Christina

The Gift of Space, Time and Compassion

If you are like my clients (hi clients!), your life is full, you are busy, and you can be hard on yourself sometimes (maybe constantly). This week, I give you the gift of space, time and compassion.

As humans we crave these things. My clients work toward these things. Your children demand them (if you’re listening). Your relationships need them.  Your best self and your work want them. And they can be elusive in our world. Here's what I mean:
 
Space: A free mind, a warm blanket, your couch, becoming unattached from your own expectations so you can enjoy the unfolding of your life. 
 
Time: Full permission not to do anything. Even for a few minutes (see specific instructions below).
 
Compassion: For yourself and your humanness. For others.
 
Pema Chodron, a wise Buddhist teacher says, “A thoroughly good relationship with ourselves results in being still, which doesn’t mean we don’t run and jump and dance about. It means there’s no compulsiveness. We don’t overwork, overeat, oversmoke, overseduce. In short we begin to stop causing harm (to ourselves).”
 
These instructions will teach you about Bonus Time and how to use it:

This week’s newsletter is short so you can have Bonus Time (time you were prepared to do something else – like read this newsletter - that you can now use to give yourself space and compassion).

Stop right now and give yourself one minute of silence. Yes, you. Yes, now, while sitting at your computer.  Before you jump to one more email: Stop. Breathe. And Be.
 
That's it.
 
Christina

P.S. When you have more Bonus Time, hit reply to this email and tell me how you used your minute. Be honest.