Decision Fatigue Is a Real Thing. What To Do About It.

Time to read: 45 seconds

Now that strict stay-at-home orders are lifted, the number of decisions you have to make each day has grown exponentially. We were all (mostly) playing by the same rules in March and April which made things easier or at least, clear.

Making decisions taxes your brain leaving you drained and exhausted.

Every.Little.Thing.Feels.Like.A.Slog.

• Do you let your child see friends in person when you're confident they won't social distance?
• Is it ok to hang out with friends in your backyard? What if they have to use the bathroom?
• Should you travel? Should you fly? Drive?
• Can you see your parents again?
• Is it safe to go to the grocery store? Use a public restroom?
• What will you do all summer now that every plan is cancelled?

I've had days where I tell my husband not to ask me another question. Even a simple one. I just don't have the capacity to make one more decision. Even deciding what's for dinner can feel like too much.

You can do a couple of simple things to help your brain and preserve your energy for the most important decisions.

1. Create habits. Take a look at the decisions you're making and see what you can turn into a habit. Can you eat the same dinners on a rotation? Can you work out at the same time every day? Steve Jobs wore only a black turtleneck to preserve his brain energy for the decisions that mattered. Worked out pretty well for him.
2. Pick your spheres of influence. You can't decide if people wear masks in public or if they go to crowded bars. So, let all those things go and only focus on the decisions that are in your sphere of influence - your family, job, home, and community.
3. Sleep. Let your brain rest and integrate. Know when it's time to stop. You'll have more decision making power the next day.

I hope this helps! I always love to hear from you so reach out anytime.

Christina

I Can't Stop Talking About Decision Making!

Time to read: 1:12.56 min

Hi Rebels!

Friends and clients are making big decisions this spring. I can't stop talking about decision-making, because it's a place where you can make your life so much easier. I'm going to share with you another nuance for efficient and effective decision-making, because as I witness the various processes, I'm reminded of one thing.

Life wasn't meant to be this hard.

I wrote a few weeks ago about gathering information and feeling your feelings. (If you want the full set of hot tips about decision-making, you can get them here.)

Today, I want to show you how to tune your antenna to open versus closed energy.

Have you ever experienced something like this?

You walk into an interview and things feel off. You don't connect with the interviewers. You don't like the building. Do you take the job or not?

You visit a house in a great neighborhood. The price is right. The location is good. It's new and pretty, and a good investment. Something feels funny. Logic says you should buy it. Should you?

In each of these situations, you are probably tempted to decide using your smart brain and logic. You are strong and can make anything work by motoring through.

OMG. No!

Stop the madness.

The truth is, you have an astute antenna for picking up energy. When something feels hard and stagnant, it might be that it isn't meant to be or you're stepping over something important. If you look back over times when you pushed past your antenna, you will probably see intolerable jobs, costly mistakes, and time wasted.

Let's relook at the situations above through the lens of energy and ease:

If you are making a choice like a job or getting a dog, feel into whether the options feel open or closed. Is the energy moving forward or feeling like a closed door? If the energy feels constricted, stale or random, don't take that job or get that dog. Go where the energy feels open and flowing, even if logically it seems like you should take that job.

Logic isn't the only driver in a decision. With something like a house, visit it again and ask yourself, "Is this my house?" Give the decision time. Then, be honest with yourself, even if your choice sounds illogical to your brain.

Your decisions will become much easier when you are honest with yourself about the energy in your options. You've got sharp antenna. Use them. Pay attention.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Are your friends and colleagues struggling with decisions like mine are? Help them out by forwarding this email to them. They can join us here.

The Secret to Effective, Efficient Decision-Making

Time to read: a wee bit over one minute

I've been hearing from lots of people about big decisions they are making this week. Decision making can be daunting. It can produce anxiety and fear. You feel the risk of making the wrong decision and then facing the consequences forever.

See what you think of this common decision-making process:

1. Gather all the information.
2. Think about the information.
3. Make a list of pros and cons to assess each option and determine which one is the best choice.
4. Think more.
5. Organize the information.
6. Try to get more information.
7. Look for more pros and cons, hoping to find the one that will make everything clear.
8. Feel muddled and foggy and not sure what to do.
9. Repeat steps 4 - 8 until you can't sleep.

Sound familiar? You go round and round, stressing out, and getting no closer to clarity until you make the decision through force or exhaustion.

This process is not effective and doesn't produce better results.

Gathering information is fine. The thinking bit is fine. Making a pros and cons list is fine too, but in many cases, it isn't actually going to help you make your decision. There's a point where no additional information is going to make the choice.

So, what's the secret to easier, more effective decision-making?

Here is everything you need to know to move you from muddled to clarity:

The secret: Leverage other ways of knowing. (I put this in bold in case you scrolled right to it.)

You have wisdom that goes beyond the facts and data, and here's how to access that wisdom:

• Feel your feelings. Do you feel excited or defeated? Do you feel happy or trapped? Are you bored or full of possibility?
• Listen to your intuition. Are you getting messages that say go or messages that scream "stop!" Does the door feel open or closed? Where do things feel ease-ful or hard?

This requires you to be very honest with yourself and sometimes to make decisions that don't make logical sense. (Remember when I told you I didn't publish a book even though a publisher went out of their way to talk to me? The decision to not publish didn't make logical sense from the standpoint of what I should do. And everything in me screamed, "no!")

You can use this tip for big decisions like which job to take or for small ones like what to do for dinner. The more you practice, the faster and clearer your decisions will become.

I hope this helps!

Christina

Do you know someone who is struggling with a decision? Hit forward on this email and share it with them. If they want more rebel-y tips and tricks for doing this thing called life and work, they can join us here.

Want to Make Powerful Decisions? Follow These 3 Steps.

Time to read: Just a little over one delicious minute!

I was talking with a client last week who was trying to make a big career and life decision between two good but very different options. He came to our call unclear about what he wanted and muddled about conflicting priorities. He felt stuck and unable to move forward.

Have you ever been in this situation?

After listening to the list of pros and cons, his competing values around family and career advancement, and the decision points that had been keeping him up at night, I asked him to step away from the content of the decision. Meaning, for a little while, let go of the details of location, job particulars and possible futures for his family.

Instead, I asked him to look at the energy of each option. The key question was: Which option had the energy of expansion and which felt like selling out? Which felt exciting and enticing and which felt limited and constricting? What felt like an energetic BMW and what felt like a go-cart? What was important was the energy of each option as either one could be terrific.

When making a career decision (or any big decision), here are 3 tips:

1. Feel free to do the age-old model of listing your pros and cons. This info is useful. And it isn't the whole picture. For example, sometimes the job with the most money isn't the right choice.
2. Step out of the details. Tune into how you feel about each option. If you feel meh or sick to your stomach with any of the options, run! and choose something else, even if that means starting over.
3. Focus on the energy of each choice. Choose the one that feels expansive and optimistic, even if the details don't make complete sense. You can trust your gut to steer you in the right direction even if your head doesn't understand why.

By looking through the lens of the energy, my client quickly became clear about which choice he wanted and left our call to immediately put the pieces in place to make it happen.

If you have been lying awake at night over a decision in your life, I'm happy to help. Email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com and we can set up a time to chat.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. If you have friends and colleagues who are trying to make big decisions, please share this with them. And invite them to join our merry little band of rebels right here.

4 Steps to Worry-Free Decision Making

Time to read: much less than two little minutes

Which direction should you go?

Hello rebels!

Do you have decisions to make? Do you anticipate having decisions to make in the future? Do you feel an urgency to get to the right decision and get to it quick so you can move-on-to-the-next-thing-burning-on-your-to-do-list-so-you-can-focus-on-something-else entirely-already?!

Geez. That sense of urgency is not helpful! (I know this. Let me explain.)

Big decisions were made in our house this spring.

My daughter has been choosing a high school and my son has decided to switch schools at the same time. We've been part of the same tight school community for 9 years so this change is a big deal for all of us. Many times in this decision-making process, I have felt urgency to get information fast, weigh all the options, and finalize a decision so we can feel clear and certain and move on to other priorities.

And this process has offered me a few huge lessons about decision-making, which I happily share with you.

If you have a teenager, you'll understand this next bit. Despite my sense of urgency, there was no forcing my 14-year-old into a decision until she was good and ready. This story is a metaphor (in case you didn't notice, you are the 14-year-old). You can try to force a decision. You can talk about it until your friends stop returning your calls. You can live your worries in the middle of the night. You can obsess until the decision invades your dreams.

And the truth is, the decision will not get made until it is time to make it. When the deadline was approaching, my daughter flat-out refused to talk about school choice for a week. We had no option but to put the thing down. And, we had a deadline. Over a huge piece of cake (I'm a strategic mom), I told her it was go-time. I expected hang-wringing and worry about where her friends were going. Instead, she paused for 10 seconds, and said, "I'm going to XYZ school."

Done and done. The decision was filled with ease and joy.

I was shocked and delighted, and since I'm a coach who writes a weekly newsletter, I made note of what just happened so I could share it with you. When making a decision - big or small, here's what you need to know:

1. Gather information, but just enough. In most cases, you will not land on the one piece of information that is going to make your decision for you so don't drive yourself crazy trying to find it.
2. Fire up your intuition. Pay attention to how you feel about your options. Watch your dreams. Feel into the energy of the way you talk about your choices. (Do you feel expansive or constricted? Joyful or worried? Excited or sick?)
3. Know your deadline or set a deadline for yourself. When you let a decision drag on and on, you're using it as an excuse to hide from the responsibility of actually making a decision. Don't do that. It's not fun, and hiding isn't going to get you anywhere.
4. Give the decision space. Put it down. Stop talking about it. Let it go. In the quiet, you'll find the answer.

Oh, and I recommend cake. Cake helps everything go smoothly.

Rebel love to you

Christina

P.S. Do you love the Corporate Rebel Unplugged Video Podcast and Newsletter? Share with with your friends! They can join our merry band of rebels right here.

Ask Yourself This Rude Question to Create Instant Clarity

There's no photo this week as everything I could think of was too gross.

When you're making a decision, popular ways to weigh the options include listing pros and cons, envisioning a blissful future, and worrying about the horrible things that could happen with each option.

There is another way to bring quick clarity to a decision (courtesy of Mark Manson, blogger and life enthusiast). It involves a swear word so if you have sensitive ears or little ones looking over your shoulder, be warned.

You can use this rude question over and over on a daily basis to find instant clarity and motivation. Every single one of my clients answers this question in a fit of laughter at one point or another. 

The question is this: 

What kind of s**% sandwich do you want to eat (for the rest of your life)?

I love this question for two reasons:

1. It is a question that grounds you in reality when you start to spin off into magical thinking (maybe...retirement will take care of itself or maybe…my kids don't care if I miss the soccer game). There is a downside to every choice. It's good to be honest with yourself about those downsides.

2. You get to choose. You always get to choose. You even get to choose your flavor of s*($ sandwich. Not choosing is still a choice.

Here are a small sample of the situations where you can apply this question:

• Let's say you are trying to decide if you will do that thing at work that you don't feel like doing. Ask yourself the question and choose: Would you rather create the boring spreadsheet or face the consequences for not doing it?
• You've been offered a great opportunity that requires you to travel away from home a lot. Would you rather miss the time with your family or miss the career growth?
• You're trying to decide if you are going to take an expensive vacation or put more money toward retirement. Would you rather find a cheaper vacation, not take one, or be behind on your retirement savings?
• For me, I ask this question every time I wonder if I should hang up the coaching gig and get a job (with a salary and benefits!) Would I rather sit my butt down and send the marketing email or have to ask my boss for vacation time?

Nothing makes me do the hard parts of being an entrepreneur faster than reminding myself that I choose, the delicious and the s(*% sandwiches.

I hope this helps!

Loved this email? Want to tell me a story? I'd love to hear from you.

Warmly,
Christina

P.P.S. I am working on something that has been inspired by conversations with many of YOU. Stay tuned. It's cooking right now and will be ready for you in a few weeks.

Is a Lack of Clarity Getting You Down? You May Be Clearer Than You Think!

I talk to lots of people. As a coach, I get hit up at parties like a doctor for free insight, I coach my seat mates on airplanes, and friends and colleagues call me regularly to walk through decisions or tough situations. It's part of the joy of my job.

I tell you this, << Test First Name >>, because I hope it lends credibility to what I'm about to say next. Here we go...

One of the #1 things people tell me is that they lack clarity. This is what being unclear sounds like:

• "I have a big decision to make and don't know what to do." 
• Should I settle down or travel for a while?
• Do I stay in a job that is making me miserable because of my 401K?
• Do I take that promotion even if it means an upset to my work/life balance?
• What's my next step in my career?
• Do I tell my boss what I really want even if I'm not sure what will happen?

A lack of clarity is like looking at the future through fog.

• It's frustrating;
• you can't see the path;
• it invites over-thinking,
• and for many of you, a lack of clarity sticks you in analysis paralysis which makes it impossible to make decisions or move forward.
• It's exhausting.

The good news: there is usually something else going on that you can resolve is (relatively) easily.

You don't lack clarity. Most people are crystal clear about what they want even if they don't see it themselves. (Doesn't that make you feel instantly better - or maybe still foggy?)

What you lack is permission. You know what you want and fear of making a change is keeping you "unclear." What you crave is courage, choice, and a plan to move forward with full permission. 

Here's a little exercise:
Choose a place in your life where you feel unclear. Describe it to a friend and ask them to tell you what is obviously clear to them. Then jot down what you would do if you had full permission. Then take the first step on the full permission path!

Insto-clarity and forward movement!

I hope this helps!

With Rebel Love!

Christina

P.S. If you crave clarity and permission and want a sounding board who is an expert at seeing what you can't, let's talk. You can schedule a free Ideas and Insights session here. We'll chat, and I'll share my…well...ideas and insights with you. Can't wait to connect live!