Week 10: Putting it all together

Time to read: 1.25 minutes

This duck says, "keep reading!"

This summer started with a simple idea: you create your days, weeks, and years. Not the news, not the people who behave badly — you.

We talked about living well is not optional homework, it's the whole assignment. We talked about being well-used and spending your life on worthy pursuits. We talked about how regret rarely comes from what we did, but from what we quietly never did. We talked about being the change you wish to see, one interaction at a time.

Here's what ties all of it together: None of this was ever about the world getting easier or kinder or more sane. It was about you deciding who you're going to be in this world, no matter what.

You choose your response, effort, kindness, integrity, and entire being, consistently, over time, in small and big ways.

Creating your life was never going to be a choice you make once. Your life is an accumulation of small choices, made every day. To be honest, even when it's hard. To be grateful when you want to be rude. To take a break when the words you are about to say are not helpful. To clean up your messes when you inevitably make them (because you are human).

Multiply those choices by a life. That's what "creating your life" looks like from the inside.

So as summer winds down, here's your homework: Keep going. Keep choosing. Keep being well-used. Keep showing up as the person you've decided to be — one day, one choice, one person at a time.

That's the whole purpose of this life.

Live well!

Week 9: The Things You'll Never Know

Time to read: 1 m

Here's something worth remembering when it feels like your small kindness can't possibly matter against the scale of everything that's wrong: you will never know the effects of what you do.

As a coach, I have conversations with people on planes. I never see them again and have no idea what happened next. I travel all over the world, and my family will tell you, with a combination of pride and irritation, that I make friends everywhere. I constantly look for how to be the wind beneath the wings of people trying to fly.

When you show patience to the cranky gate agent, it might have been the moment that changed their week or made them kinder to the next person. Even if there was no effect on them, there was an impact on you.

When you change the temperature of a room, your family, or workplace, you aren't doing it to calculate the ROI (Return on Investment). You're doing it because it's who you've decided to be. You've made a choice.

When you do it and the next person does it, and on and on, it becomes a thing. You're not just refusing to become part of the problem; you are part of the solution. One person at a time.

That's the whole practice, the same one we've been talking about all summer. Small, deliberate choices about who you're going to be, made without needing to see where they land.

Week 4: Do You Have To Choose?

Time to read: 41 seconds

Ah, wonderful costume jewelry.

Yes, you always choose. If living well is something you get to create, then not choosing is also a choice, just often not a good one.

Most of us don't refuse to live intentionally. You just let the calendar decide. The inbox decides. The next obligation decides. Weeks pass. You were busy the whole time. And, do you feel well-used, or were you drifting?

Drift feels safe because it seems like you don't have to choose. When in fact, you are choosing to drift. The cost will come later, in regret, missed opportunity, chances not taken.

This week, pick one place where you've been drifting. Keep it simple. Choose one. A relationship on autopilot. A habit you fell into. A "someday" that's been someday for years.

You don't need a five-year plan. You need one choice, one action, done intentionally, today.

Next week: What to do when your values and your circumstances don't line up.

Know someone who would like a dose of optimism, positivity, and action this summer? They can sign up here.

Week 2: How Will You LIVE?

Time to read: 46 seconds

1920s Camphor Glass Necklace. Think flappers and speakeasies. Yes, it's for sale.

This summer, I am talking about creating life…your life. In a complex and chaotic world, you are still the creator of your days, weeks, and years.

Last week, I talked about how the world you want to live in starts with you. Today, I'm taking that a step further. Fair warning: my father's death has made me philosophical. :-)

Death is certain. None of us will escape it. So, it behooves you to decide how you want to LIVE.

You have "one wild and precious life" (to quote Mary Oliver), and I think each of us gets to, actually, have a duty to, live well. How you define "live well" is based on your values, interests, and life situation.

Living well doesn't mean that everything is great all the time, that you always get what you want, or that life is always easy. It means finding your way through complexity with integrity, looking for slivers of joy and beauty, finding the good in people and situations, and feeling most days like you were well used.

Being "well-used" is next week's topic. Stay tuned.

Here's What You Are Worried About

Time to read: 10 seconds

My puppy, "helping" me in the garden

You are generous, kind, and transparent. I'm grateful to be able to spend this summer writing about what matters to you! You shared stories, thoughts, and the things keeping you up at night. Here is a short list of what you said so you know you're not alone:

• life balance
• the intense job market
• how to design the next phase of life (ie retirement)
• AI
• self care
• caretaking like aging parents
• too many emails
• your mindset around money
• family drama

And overwhelmingly, you wrote about your distress over the state of the world and our country. Many of you lie awake at night worried about the cost of gas, groceries, the job market, climate change, and the feeling that humans have stopped caring about each other.

All of these subjects share common themes, like change, living with uncertainty, managing fear, trusting life and yourself, and sustaining hope as a way of life.

I'll tell you up front: I am hopeful. I believe in the power of human ingenuity, resilience, and care.

I will be writing about all these things. Stay tuned.

Love to all of you, and thank you!

Know someone navigating a demanding season at work? Share this blog article with them. They can subscribe here

Questions about focus or making the most of an intense stretch? Email me . I read every one.

Bonus: Celebration!

Time to read: 87 seconds

This is me, snuggling my dog

You did it!

Six weeks of building a new relationship with your focus. That deserves a moment. Pausing to celebrate locks in new habits — and honestly, it's just fun.

I'll go first.

I recently came through one of those intense stretches — constant travel for work and pleasure, back-to-back client work, and time with people I love scattered in between. To move through it calmly and collected, I put everything we've talked about into practice.

When it was time to write, all I did was write. Bags were packed days before travel. My to-do list was sharp — what must get done, and a separate list of nice-to-do if time allowed. I used plane rides the way I recommend…no one knows where you are, no one can reach you. Maximum focus.

And because of that focus, I still walked my dogs, made it to the gym, ate real meals, and watched The Pitt. I was fully present at every work event, every client meeting, every family visit.

I'm proud of how I navigated it. I hope you're proud of yourself, too.

I'm celebrating with sleep, vintage buying and selling, dinner with my husband, and dog snuggles.

What about you? Even if you changed just one small thing over these six weeks — celebrate. You deserve it.

Email me and tell me all about it.

Know someone navigating a demanding season at work? Share this blog article with them. They can subscribe here

Questions about focus or making the most of an intense stretch? Email me . I read every one.

Managing Your Mind, Not Your Time

Time to read: 67 seconds

Goodness I love green glassware

You blocked the time. You cleared the space. You sat down ready to work.

Then your brain had other ideas.

The presentation is due Friday. Did you follow up with that client? You should really call your mother. What if the project falls apart? Is it too early for lunch?

No app blocks those distractions. No tidy desk fixes it. This is internal noise — and for most people, it's the hardest part of focus.

Here's what's happening. Under pressure, your brain generates a constant stream of unfinished business. Undone tasks, unresolved worries, unmade decisions. It's not trying to sabotage you. It's trying to make sure you don't forget anything important.

The trick is to give your brain a place to put that stuff. Two things will help you manage your monkey mind:

• 1. Do a brain dump. Take 5 minutes to write everything down so your brain knows nothing will get lost. Then your brain can let go, and you can focus.
• 2. Work with your energy. You know the time of day you are sharpest. You have a 2–3-hour window when your thinking is clearest. That window is precious. Don't spend it on email. Mine is in the early afternoon. Many people focus best in the morning.

Answer email when your energy dips. Do the deep work when you're at your best.

This week: Try a brain dump before your next focused work session. Write everything down, work and personal. Then close the list and get to work. Notice if it's easier to stay on task.