Working Too Much?

Time to read: 1 minute, 4 seconds

Hey Rebels,

Today is "help, I'm working too much but not as productive" day.

You face an uncertain future. The situation changes week-to-week, sometimes day-to-day under Covid-19. Some of the stress is global, and some is specific to your industry, workplace or family situation.

Uncertainty breeds stress, and stress breeds over-performing. (It also breeds under-performing, which is the subject for next week.)

Do these symptoms of over-performing feel familiar?

• Working constantly
• Not taking time for fun and joy
• Believing that if you work just a little more, you'll fix it, solve it, or find the answer
• Trying to look good to your superiors or colleagues
• Feeling exhausted
• Working a lot, but not feeling productive

"Hello, my name is Christina. I'm an over-performer." Let me rephrase that, thanks to 9 years of intensive personal and professional development I am a recovering over-performer so I have a few thoughts about what to do. In a nutshell, here's what I've learned:

• Recognize when you have crossed the line from productive and effective to over-performing. (Hint: You feel like your self-worth is wrapped up in your work. You start to feel resentful and exhausted. You are focused on looking good rather than being creative and serving.)


• Create structures to support breaks. Shut down your computer. Turn off your phone. Go out of town for the weekend and don't take your laptop. Chronic over-performers have to be forced to slow down and rest.


• Get clear about the difference between what's truly important in your work and the busy-work that makes you feel productive, but actually isn't. Do important work. Let the busy-work go.


• Unhook your sense of self-worth from your job. You are not single-handedly going to solve all the world's problems as much as you might like to. You are not a failure if you haven't yet stopped world hunger or systemic racism. Trust that you always know the next right step and that your future and career will unfold in the way it is supposed to.

Over-performing holds you back from doing the work you are meant to do as you get stuck in exhaustion and self-doubt. We need you. We need you to feel worthy and free so you can get about the important work of making the world the place you want it to be.

I hope that helps. Next week is for all you under-performers. Motivation, anyone?

Crushed Between Working and Parenting?

Time to read: 2 minutes of pure validation and relief

The blissful days of parenting little ones

This one is for you, parent-rebels.

(If you're not a parent, keep reading as you know parents).

You are in an untenable position. The systems in the USA are not set up to support working parents under the best of circumstances. Trying to homeschool and entertain young children while simultaneously doing your job is impossible. If you are a single parent, the situation is even worse.

My clients and friends with young children face constant interruptions, no daycare, no school, no camp, and no peace.

Smart writers are sounding the alarm about the impossible position for parents in the Covid-19 economy. Read Deb Perelman's article, "We are Being Crushed," in the NYT here. Her article will validate everything you are experiencing.

What are you supposed to do? I put together this list as a parent-specific supplement to The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please keep in mind that I am not an expert on the COVID19 virus, the data in your particular location, or your family's personal situation. Make prudent choices for you and your family.

Here's what I've seen help working parents:

1. Accept the situation. Being locked at home with your children is less-than-ideal. The possibility that school could be closed in the fall is sub-optimal. You have to accept the situation as it is. Liberate, maybe even lower, your expectations so you can get creative. (If school is closed in the fall, I'll be challenged to accept it. You can remind me in the fall that I gave you this stupid advice.)


2. Examine your priorities and assumptions about what it means to be the ideal employee (available at all hours, immediately responsive) and the ideal parent. "Ideal parenting" and "ideal working" clash. You are likely holding impossible standards. Make sure your actions align with your priorities. To understand more about the clash of priorities for working parents, read this.


3. Raise the alarm with your employer. For the Covid economy to work for working parents, companies will have to get creative. Starting early. Working late. Split shifts. Fridays off. Mondays off. Talk to your colleagues. Talk to your boss. Employers will have to make changes in expectations and structures if working parents are going to have any chance of success.


4. Let go of guilt that you are failing at work and failing as a parent. This situation is hard. Don't add self-doubt and self-criticism to the pile on. If your kids watches 6 hours of cartoons so you can get to meetings, oh well. (See #1)


5. Vote for candidates who will take seriously the kinds of leave and family-work policies that make parenting and working possible in the USA.


6. Structure your home life as best you can. Create a kid-free work zone. You need maximum focus and productivity when working with kids at home so be clear that your work space is off limits unless the house is on fire or someone is barfing. Be efficient and focused when you're working. This may mean no "nice-to-have" meetings, no extra chit-chat. It sucks, and it preserves precious time for your family.


7. Form community with other adults in your life as much as feels safe for you. Tag team parenting with your partner if you have one. Create child-care pods with neighbors who take turns taking kids to the park. Bring in grandparents. Hire a teenage nanny.


8. Turn work off and focus on your family. The temptation to work all the time when you're at home is great. Turn off your laptop and spend focused time with your kiddos. They will interrupt you less if they know they have your undivided attention at other times, and you need the break.


9. Did I mention vote?

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Here it is again, The Corporate Rebel's Unconventional Guide to Working from Home. Please share it liberally.

Feel Pressured By Ever-Increasing Demands?

Time to Read: 51 seconds to the middle. 1.5 minuets all the way down.

Hey Rebels,

A new client told me that she almost never leaves the office before 9:00 at night because it's the only time the fire drills and constant interruptions quiet down enough for her to work on strategic initiatives. One day she left at 6:00 and noticed with horror that it had been weeks since she had left the office in daylight.

Standing in the sunshine, she realized her strategies were not sustainable physically or mentally and that working "harder, faster and longer" is not yielding the results she wants for her work and life. She decided then and there to make a change.

You may not stay late at the office, but do you check your email as soon as your children are in bed? When was the last time you went to the gym? Or hung out with your friends? Are the hobbies that bring you joy a distant memory? Is Netflix all the energy you can manage in the evening? (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Game of Thrones. And for all you stickler's out there, I know it's on HBO.)

If you've been reading my emails lately, you know where I'm headed.

Life is too short to allow your job to burn through decades of your life.

I told my client that the secret to a calmer, saner, happier work life isn't in finding better strategies to organize your day. You'll find calm and fulfillment by shifting the foundation on which you work - your beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and structures that inform your day and your relationship to your job (and so much more).

If you're curious about how to completely change the way you work in order to be calm, productive, and wildly successful, consider chatting with me about the Corporate Rebel Clarity U coaching group. You can schedule a 30-minute spot here.

Why does this matter to you?

• You react instead of actively making decisions which leaves you feeling depleted and second-guessing your choices.
• Life and work feel chaotic and disjointed. You find yourself running from place to place, slamming out emails, and feeling like you're not actually accomplishing anything.
• You fall into the same ineffective patterns that have held you back for years.
• Every year you think, "This is the year things are going to be different." Then they are not different and you keep going with the same old, same old.

What's in it for you? Starting in October you will learn to...

• Shake off negative patterns of thinking and behaving so you can stop holding yourself back. Your life will be calmer and work more fulfilling.
• Gracefully navigate transitions so you feel confident in the unknown and able to handle the changes that work and life throw at you.
• Ground yourself physically and spiritually to allow radical transformation. You will look back and wonder why you didn't address this stuff sooner.
• Wield your new, portable Toolbox of Skills so you're ready to take action, make choices, and be in control of your career and life.
• Get clear about what you want and bravely take action toward making your goals real.

The Corporate Rebel Clarity U coaching group will help you put work and life on your terms. This link will take you to Christina's personal calendar to schedule a casual 30-minute chat. We'll talk about what's going on in your life, develop a solution or two, and determine whether our group program is the right next step.

You can also email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com to set up a time in the next few weeks or reach out to me privately with questions or inquiries.

Seriously, you spend more hours at work than anywhere else. Don't let those hours suck.

With Rebel Love,

Christina

P.S. Are you ready to change the way you work (and as an added bonus, thrive in all aspects of your life)? Let's talk! Click this link to choose a 30-minute spot on my calendar. We'll talk about what's going on and whether Corporate Rebel Clarity U is a good fit.

P.P.S. Wouldn't it be awesome to do this work with your friends? Invite them to explore the possibilities by forwarding this email to them. They can sign up to chat here.

Do You Like Where You Are Heading?

Time to read: 55 seconds (So you can get out in your garden. It's spring!)

Frank's holiday cards

A hundred years ago, I worked with an amazing man. Frank worked hard during the school year then adventured all summer in his car and on his bike. Each Christmas, he mailed a card with a photo from his travels and the exact same quote. The quote was:

"If we don't change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are heading." ~ Chinese proverb

This quote has been rattling around in my head as I've talked to friends and clients this week.

Consider this: You're on a path in your career. Although that path is not controllable or predictable (e.g. layoffs, health issues, babies, and winning the lottery to name a few possible interruptions), you can visualize the path ahead of you. Look at the people who are 10 or 20 years older than you. Look at the leaders who are a few steps above you on the food chain.

Do you like what you see? Do you like the way they live? Do you share their personal and professional priorities and values?

Now, take a look at your own thoughts and choices. Do you feel in integrity with yourself? Are your work and life in balance in the way you want them to be? Are you taking care of your body, mind and spirit? Do you tell yourself, "When I retire, I'll ____(fill in the blank with your dream for the future)?

I offer you a slightly modified version of the quote I received every December for many years. "If you don't change your direction, you are likely to end up where you are heading."

How do you like where you are heading?

If you love it, great! Keeping going.

If you don't, now is the time to change your direction.

As always, I love to hear from you. If these thoughts struck a chord, email me and tell me all about it!

With all kinds of rebel love,

Christina

P.S. If one of your friends or colleagues needs a nudge to consider a change of direction, share this newsletter with them. They can join our merry band of rebels here.

The way you spend your day….

Estimated read time: 1 minute

I want to check in with you about how things are going in your job.

I know you struggle with burn-out, overwhelm, and what to do next. You keep thinking things will change if you just work harder, take on more responsibility or give the changes in your company more time. Being stuck is a total drag.

These struggles have me thinking about a funeral I attended for a colleague from my corporate days. He worked hard, sometimes staying at the office on Christmas Eve, traveling internationally, sacrificing for the company and putting many things off “until retirement.” The church was simultaneously crying and laughing hysterically at the stories his children told of the things their dad was finally doing in his retirement. He was just beginning to enjoy all the things he had worked for when he died 2 years in.

When I hear you say, “I’ll wait until next year. Maybe things will get better on their own,” or “I can put up with anything until my kids are out of college,” it breaks my heart. Time is short. Your life is valuable. The time to bring back joy, balance, health, and meaning is NOW. Retirement is too far away. Even next year is too far away.

This quote makes me think of you everyday:

How you spend your days is how you spend your life. ~Annie Dilliard

You are the one with the power to make things better for yourself. Waiting for your company to make things better for you is only going to make you another year older.

If you are:

• waiting to see if things will get better on their own;
• procrastinating on making a change because you’re scared of the financial consequences;
• skeptical that things can ever be better in your job;
• wishing you had the roadmap to professional fulfillment,

Let’s hop on the phone. Email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com to schedule a session with me.

I promise you they can be better. Don’t wait another year to create your life and work on your terms. The time to be happy at work is now.

We’ll spend 30 minutes creating an inspiring and empowering plan for things to be better NOW.

Whether we end up working together or not, I can't wait to connect.

Happy Halloween!

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

Do you choose work? Or life? Or both? Ack!

It's short. One minute tops!

My daughter, choosing NOT have her energy sucked by a photograph.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to the Boyd-Smiths, real or imagined, is purely fictional.

Imagine this morning: You were up in the middle of the night with a sick child. A text awaited from a dear friend wanting to chat about something. You are preparing a presentation. Even this morning, you might be recreating something because you had a better idea (like, for example, this newsletter) while your kids are getting ready for school and the dog is whining for her breakfast.

Ack! Work/Life Balance!

Can you relate?

Here's the thing, sometimes managing work/life balance is a minute-to-minute affair.

There is so much more to say on this subject and for today, think about how you choose to use your precious time and energy in each minute. Here are some examples to get you started:

A sick child. Yes seems like a good choice. You can motor through the next day a little tired. Not ideal but workable.

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I would love to do nothing more than yack with a friend. In fact, it's my favorite hobby (and honestly, avoidance tactic). To stay focused, sometimes you have to counter-offer with support that will take less time. And tell your friend how much you love her and be transparent about what's going on.

Create a new newsletter? This choice is a toss-up. Depends on your priorities, timing, and what else is going on. In this case, I can ignore that my son is eating Cheetos for breakfast and watching YouTube. The commitment to get quality content to you each Thursday, is non-negotiable.

Get dressed? Later. No one cares if you drop off at carpool in your PJs.

This, my friends, is what wild, weird, dynamic and real life balance looks like. Really and truly.

And now, I must return to preparing next week's presentation. Besides client sessions, YOU are my #1 focus today.

I hope this helps.

Christina