Is your "mental load" crushing you?

When I awoke at 2:30 this morning, the first thing I thought was, "^%&%$, why am I not asleep?" The second thing I thought was, "Yay! I have a topic for my newsletter." So I got up and got to work (because sleep was just not going to happen.)

The first thing I noticed in those wee hours is that I was strung out. Heart pounding, mind racing, wide awake. I wasn't emotional or freaking out about anything, just jacked up and stimulated in a not so good way. As I got to work and tried to put some organization to what was happening, I flashed back to a summer patio conversation with a jacked up working mom. She described her frustration over what she called her "mental load." Ding! Ding! Ding! Yup, that's exactly what was happening this morning.

People tell me that they lose sleep over their bursting to-do lists and constant running around.

Yes, those to-dos are real.

And something else is going on. It's not just the to-do list that creates the stress. Keeping track of and remembering what needs to be done is what puts you over the edge. Let me show you what I mean:

Here's a partial list of my mental load. See if you relate, Jenntest. Your assignment is to replace my list with your own mental load then read to the end to discover some solutions.

• Make sure the dog gets her daily medicine.
• Children's high school applications including deadlines, recommendation letters, and thoughtful essays. Deal with their desire to play instead.
• Plan meals. Plan when to cook meals. Actually cook meals.
• Make list for upcoming international family trip.
• Write and review copy and graphics for upcoming big project. Deal with the fact that business coach doesn't like the graphics.
• Keep track of and follow-up on business insurance requirements for a corporate master services agreement.
• Help son remember to talk to the teacher and actually re-take his science quiz.
• As the chair of the board, track ahead 5 steps to make sure people in the organization don't freak out over some tricky politics and personalities.
• About a thousand other details and things to remember that wake me up running all crazy at 2:30 am.

I imagine that you have a similar list, and that sometimes your mental load gets the better of you as mine did this morning. And, here are solutions that you can implement in a few short minutes to bring more calm to your mind and space to your day:

1. Release the martyr. Recognize the tendency to believe that all the weight has to be on you. (I don't relate to that martyr syndrome at all.)
2. Stop cold turkey. (Too bad that my coach doesn't like the graphics. I love them. Tell him to pipe down and move on. I love you, George!)
3. Share the love load. A nuance to sharing the love is delegate to people who will actually follow through so you can remove the item from your mental load. (Husband is handling the metrics quiz. Son is reliable to make is own lunch but not yet reliable to push through all the great socializing at school to remember to talk to the teacher.)
4. Outsource. Outsource whatever you can. For free or for money. Hire help (assistants, cleaners, chefs - yeah, dare to dream). If you can't hire it, get your family to do it. Partners can become responsible for birthday parties. Kids can make their own lunches. I've even heard they can learn to cook dinners.)

Feel free to email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com and tell me about your mental load or your magic strategy for resolving it. I could use the advice.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. I have been working in a big project that will be announced next week. It is a direct response to things I hear like, "I can't possibly make that change," "I'm too old to pivot," "my ideas are too weird to work." A huge dose of inspiration and motivation for your career is coming soon. Stay tuned!

3 Tips to Keep You On Track

It's 10:44 am, and I have a confession to make. 

I've gotten nothing done. Does this scenario sound familiar?

By nothing, I mean, nothing important. I've put away dishes, texted with my brother about a 2018 family trip, looked at my garden, and cooked some eggs. I even got up just now, mid-sentence, to make more tea and start the dishwasher. I'm wandering and unfocused.

My children are still asleep, and I have stuff I want to get done with these precious hours. Like planning all the cool things I'm creating for you for Fall.

The truth is... I don't like planning. I like executing and creating. So, I'm doing what any good rebel does when you have to do something you don't like.

Stall.

Avoid.

Putz.

This is a do as I say, not as I do, hypocritical Corporate Rebel Coach moment. I know what to do to remedy the stalling, and I'm even stalling on implementing them. Bad, I know.

In case you've been bitten by a case of summer wandering, here are three hot tips to keep you focused.

1. Choose one thing. Make this a creative, important endeavor. Checking your email and scrolling Facebook don't count.
    
2. Do the thing you don't like first. Get it off your plate so you can move on with the minimum amount of expended energy.
    
3. Shut off your email and turn off your phone. Remove distractions so you can do the thing.

Now I'm going to feed one child and shuttle the other to a friend's house. Then I will get down to business. Promise.

Today's Campfire Conversation about Creating Inspiration for Your Rebellion is well timed as I can talk about what it takes to be inspired when you're not.

Here's to your focus! 

Christina

Speeding toward the holidays? Stay on track with these productivity tips.

Estimated read time: 1:02.81 minutes

It sounds weird. And seriously, this tomato-inspired strategy will help you get more done starting TODAY.

In the late fall, the pace of life and work speeds up. This year, there is much happening on the national and international stage. It can be exhausting. Things accelerate - annual reviews, holiday parties, travel, year-end analyses, family visits, and project deadlines. Does it feel like this in your world?

In response to the pace of the wider world, we are keeping things simple here at Corporate Rebel HQ.

I'll spend the next few weeks teaching you techniques for efficiency and productivity so you can focus, do excellent work, breathe, and have more time for fun and festivities.

Here's the first one, inspired by a process called Pomodoro. (Yes, the Italian word for tomato.) This super productivity strategy was developed by Francesco Cirillo who was inspired by his tomato-shaped kitchen timer.

I use a modified version of Francesco's process which you can implement immediately to make your work more productive. Here's how it works:

1. Text or instant message a friend or colleague who will be your virtual pomodoro partner. (You can also do this process alone.)
3. Tell your friend exactly what you are going to work on for the next 25 minutes. Choose one thing.
4. Shut off your email, FB, and phone ringer so you can focus.
5. Set a timer for 25 minutes.
6. When you're both ready, text Go! and start the timer.
7. Focus for the next 25 minutes.
8. When the timer goes off, account your progress and/or completion to your colleague. Celebrate!
9. Take a 5 minute break - grab coffee, step outside, throw in a load of laundry, listen to music.

Rinse and repeat as many times as you like.

I used this process to write this newsletter and am now going to take a break to make breakfast for my kids before school.

Let me know how this process works for you!

I hope this helps.

Warmly,

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

Who you are being matters!

Estimated read time: 4 seconds less than one minute.

Pets and kids get this concept without trying.

Like you, I have a lot to do this week - a long list of tasks, mundane and challenging. A few minutes ago, I was walking out the door laden with my laptop, anxious to start knocking items off my to-do list at the local coffee shop.

Right as I was about to leave, I stopped and remembered the words of my mentor. She said, "Trust that who you are is enough. Do your prep work and trust who you are being in the world." I put down my laptop and spent the next 20 minutes meditating.

The point here is simple. What you do is only part of the story. Who you are is just as important.

Here's an example:

One of my clients leads a large team. She is responsible for day-to-day management activities and projects that affect thousands of end-users. At her core, she is deeply empathetic. When she gets anxious about the things that need to be done, she has a harder time moving forward. When she taps into her deep well of compassion for herself and her team, the work gets done smoothly.

See how that works?

In the midst of all of your doing, remember who you are being is important, too. Have you heard the phrase, "you are a human being, not a human doing?"

Spend some time this week paying attention to who you are being. And my calm and centered self just easily completed one thing on my to-do list - this newsletter!

In love,

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

Are you stressed?

Estimated read time: 1.75 minutes

Focus (not stressed) Central!

I've had a lot going on for the past couple of months - buying and remodeling a house, selling a house, a HUGE project for my business (which you will get to see soon), kids, laundry, marriage, board meetings, fundraising, life.

Does this look like some version of your life?

I've noticed as I'm moving through these various things that friends and strangers alike say things like:

You must be so stressed!

Overwhelmed yet?!

Wow - you must be barely keeping it together!

I'm willing to own that perhaps I look messy because I went to the store unshowered on the way home from carpool in the clothes I pulled off my floor. But honestly, I'm not at all stressed.

Focused, yes.

Stressed, no.

It seems like culturally, we are attached to the idea of being "busy" or "stressed" so much so that we project it all over the place, even in casual conversation, even when we have no idea if the person is actually stressed or not.

Here are some thoughts for you this week:

• Pay attention to all the times someone casually assumes you must be stressed or overwhelmed and notice the impact it has on you (and them).
• Become aware of the times you say it (I was surprised at how often "stressed' words came out of my mouth).
• Then stop, laugh and say something more supportive - like, "Wow, that is so exciting!" "You must be so engaged!" "Are you thrilled?" "It must take a lot of focus."

Notice the shift that happens in you and others.

Let's see what we can do to shift from "stressed" and "busy" to "engaged" and "excited."

And that's what I've got this week. I hope it helps.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE. P.P.S. I'd love to hear why you think we are so focused on being "busy" and "stressed." So, if you like to share your opinion, hit reply to this email and tell me what you think.

What's your weird little process?

Estimated read time: 2 minutes.

One process option; Freaking out

I was talking with a client this morning, and she told me she was feeling indifferent about some work she needed to do. Then she proceeded to judge her indifference and talk about how bad it makes her feel. Do you do some version of this to yourself?

Years ago, I was sitting in a circle in a leadership program, and one of my close friends was sharing how frustrated she was with her own apathy. She was feeling sad and useless. Then our mentor landed a golden nugget on us. He said, "What if apathy is part of your process?"

Whoa! Life changing moment! I want to share it with you!

You have a process. You've probably been following it for years. And when you are in the "not so productive" part of your process, you probably judge yourself and give yourself a hard time for being "not productive." The guilt and judgment sap your energy which is not useful. Make sense?

Here's the thing, assuming you eventually get your project / homework / phone calls / meetings done, your weird little process is working for you. Imagine that? It's working! Who knew?

Another example. My process is that I make a stop in FREAK OUT (and I clean). I spend 1-3 days in self-doubt and questioning and general panic when I'm stepping into something new. Then I pull myself up and get to work with a clarity and determination that the magic pixies generated in the FREAK OUT.

The FREAK OUT is the springboard to productivity. I used to pile on judgment, fear and guilt about not getting anything done. That was oh, so helpful. And now, I'm all, like, "check it out. Here I am in my weird little process. Even though I hate this, I'll pop out in a day or two and get to work." Weirdly, it works. Every time. Even when I fear that this time it won't.

So, what's the place you stop on your way to productivity and courage? Apathy? Indifference? Fear? Doubt? Resistance? Anger? Resentment? Avoidance? Get to know that weird little stop on the track to action, creativity, and production. Then you can drop the judgment, ride it out, and get to work with even more energy.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

The "F" Word. What Do You Do With It?

Smart, interesting and insightful people populate my world (like all of you). You are full of opinions and share them generously. I am grateful.
 
Last week, one of those smart, interesting and insightful people generously shared this challenge about growing corn in Minnesota (if you missed it, read last week’s newsletter here for context):
 
“Ok so I am on board with the ‘larger message’ but I think there is a lot of value in asking, Coach Boyd-Smith, what happens when you do just that, set that intention, stretch, leap, live large - and there is no promotion, no baby materializes, the big job is really big and wrangling it may be doable but is all consuming …  the corn grows but never produces something to eat.  That’s the piece that I think is the true nut to crack … “
 
So let's crack - or at least fracture - the nut about what happens when things don’t work out. (Do I dare use the “F” word? Failure. Eeek! She said it.)

The rebelicious live large, take risks, operate from your truest, authentic self. When you are out there on the edge, failure is inevitable. In fact, welcome, encourage, and embrace it. Failure is your most efficient teacher.
 
And most of you are terrified just reading the word failure on this page.

Failure…failure…fail…ure!

Let’s crack that nut.

Here are three things to do when (notice it's not "if") you fail:

1. Be with your emotions: Failure doesn’t stall many successful entrepreneurs and business people. Good for them. For the rest of us, it hurts. Grieve. Be pissed. Be despondent. Do this without blame – for yourself and others. Move through the emotion so you can move past it.
   
   Client story! Peter (not his real name) took a big financial risk on a company that kinda screwed him. He was disappointed and shaken. His first step is to acknowledge and be with the hurt and betrayal so he can move on to the next opportunity with a clear head and clean energy.
    
2. Mine the learning: Once you’ve moved through the emotion, failure is chock full of learning. When the job is “big and wrangling and all consuming” – that’s a time to look at your priorities. Maybe your life balance is more important than the job. Maybe you want to give your all to the challenge. Maybe being a VP isn't all it was cracked up to be. There's a practical or life lesson in failure. Find it.
    
3. Choose: These big life moments can set you on a completely different path. You are not a victim of these moments. You get to choose what you do with your path. When the business doesn’t work out or the baby doesn’t materialize, choose what you want next. You might choose to give the job a year. Or to look for something less overwhelming. You might decide being a parent is your #1 priority and open your possibilities. Or not. Each journey is different. And the choice is yours.

 Client story!  Alia's day job didn’t turn into the innovative, leadership role she had hoped. So instead, she followed a passion into volunteer work outside the office which turned into huge leadership growth, a significant contribution to her city, and a role that made her deeply happy and satisfied.

You aren't in this life to play it safe. You are here to live! To thrive! To contribute! And the big F word will show up on that path. Welcome it. Use it. And choose.

I hope this helps.
Christina

P.S. If you or someone you know could use some support, grab a free session on my calendar here.