Time to read: 1.3 minutes
Last time we talked about the 100/100 rule — you give your 100%, and so does the other person. Simple in theory. But there's a catch: 100% isn't a constant number.
100% effort fluctuates depending on how you feel and what's happening in life. When you are sick, 100% looks different. If you're super tired, your 100% will be less than when you are rested.
Think about it in practice. The friend who's usually the first to text back might go quiet for a week because they're drowning at work. The partner who normally initiates plans might not have it in them the month after a parent's diagnosis. Their 100% just shrank. It didn't disappear, and it isn't a downgrade of how much they care.
That's not you slacking, and it's not the other person slacking either when their 100% dips. The rule was never"always perform at your peak." The rule is: "show up honestly with what you actually have."
The tricky part is telling the difference between someone's 100% shrinking for a real reason and someone quietly settling into a smaller, permanent version of it. One is a season. The other is a pattern. It's worth paying attention to which one you're actually looking at before you decide whether to extend patience or ask for more.
Next week we'll talk about over-performing in relationships. I don't know anything about that. :-)
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