Happy Bleepin' New Year!

Time to read: 56.48 seconds

I hate New Year.

I've always hated New Year.

Here's why: You are expected to wake up on January 1st and be miraculously different. But when you wake up, politics are the same. Your body is the same. It's the same world, layered with false expectations that everything will be shiny and new. I hate that.

Until recently, I've learned to enjoy New Year. (Don't tell anyone. It's much more fun to be the curmudgeon who hates New Year.) Here's what changed and what you can do if you are a New Year hater, too.

1. Change your expectations. Stop expecting everything to be shiny and new. Changing your expectations means you won't be disappointed when they aren't met.


2. Do something different. We started having people over and making sushi or taking sparklers outside in the snow. Throw out any prescribed tradition and make fun in your own way.


3. Go to bed. I never stay up to midnight. I like sleep. I like my cozy bed. If you like staying up, great! If you feel you should stay up, don't bother.


4. Make New Year one step in the larger journey of your purpose. The truth is, New Year is just a point in time on the larger journey of your life. Eight years ago, I started evaluating my year in order to set intentions and goals for the coming year. I love looking back to see how the past 12 months stacked up and by February or so, I have a document that steers the direction of the coming months. This process helps you stay on purpose and be conscious and intentional about what you create in your work and life.

I hope this helps.

I offer The Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan once a year as a stand-alone process. If you're curious to learn more, hit reply and shoot me an email. We can hop on the phone for a quick chat to see if this is exactly what you need to move forward with intention.

Happy New Year!

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend or family member who hates New Year? Share this blog with them. If they choose to receive more, they can join us here.

P.P.S. The New Year is the perfect time for a Corporate Rebel Strategic Plan for Work and Life OR a Corporate Rebel Year End Reflection and Plan. Both offer the chance to reflect on 2019 and plan for 2020. Email me for more info.

The Secret to Getting What You Want

Time to read: 1:01.82. I timed it.

Think about things you want:

• To be appreciated at the office
• To feel like your work is valuable
• To be recognized when you do a good job
• To have some "me time" on the weekend

Keep reading. This story will show you how to get what you want:

I'm an extrovert. (Are you surprised?)

My husband and children are introverts.

My weekends look something like this:

• Kids sleep late.
• Daughter gets out of bed, does homework, then takes a 3 hour nap.
• Son hangs out with friends, plays video games and emerges for food.
• Husband does projects in the garage and works.

I'm exaggerating to make my point, and I'm lucky if there's a party or play practice or hockey game, because those involve other parents. I would die without those other parents.

I understand my family's need to recharge after a week of extroverting at school and the office. And by Sunday, I'm chewing off my own arm from a lack of stimulation. I've been known to pick fights with my kids to generate interaction. I've complained that my family does little to support my social needs.

Then one day it hit me.

Why am I waiting for my family to fulfill my social needs?

If I need to see more people on the weekends, I need to take responsibility to make that happen.

Here's the secret to getting what you want: Give it to yourself.

If you want more appreciation, appreciate yourself. If you want to feel like your work is valued, value your own work. If you want to be recognized, bring a treat and recognize the good work at your next staff meeting. If you want more "me time," claim some time on the weekend. (My house has an over abundance of "me time." Come on over. I have some to spare.)

Here's to getting what you want!

All the best,

Christina

What Is "Reasonable?" Does It Matter?

Time to read: Take a 30-second break and read on!

I was working with a client recently and in the course of our coaching, she said, "It's reasonable that I quit that committee."

Well... yes... and no.

I paused her so we could examine the word "reasonable." She had committed to quitting. (You know you who are. Yay for quitting!) And, instead of owning her values and priorities, she was hiding behind comparison to others and the benchmark of "reasonable."

Reasonable doesn't matter.

Try this on:

You're driving down the highway at 70-miles-per-hour (speed limit = 55mph). So is everyone else. You think to yourself, "it's reasonable that I'm driving 70 miles per hour. I'm keeping pace with the other drivers."

Not really.

You are choosing to drive 70. The fact that everyone else is also driving 70 is irrelevant. You may feel like "reasonable" gives you cover, and it's simply hiding behind other people to justify your choices.

So, notice the next time you make a choice and call it "reasonable." Are you giving yourself a pass for something that feels out of integrity to you? Are you missing an opportunity to take a stand for your values and priorities?

My client took a powerful stand for her values and dropped any comparison to "reasonable."

What's the stand you want to take?

Comment on the Corporate Rebel Facebook Page and tell me all about it. I love to hear from you.

Christina

P.S. If you love the Corporate Rebel newsletter, share it with your friends and colleagues. They can join the fun by clicking here.

Celebrate!

Time to read: 15 seconds. Take the extra minute you would have spent reading to pause
and celebrate something!

Hello Rebels!

It's my birthday week. Although you all will kindly and generously send me birthday wishes now that I've told you, trolling for birthday greetings isn't why I'm writing about it.

I'm writing about it because birthdays are an obvious reason to celebrate. When I worked in corporate, our department was small enough that we made homemade birthday cakes.

Birthdays are not the only reason to celebrate. In fact, there are thousands of reasons to celebrate and all of them deserve CAKE! Try these on:

• It's Thursday! Thursday is the new Friday. Cake time!
• You sent 100 emails today. You are a rock star of efficiency. Reward = cake.
• You made a live phone call. Yay connection! More cake.
• You have a staff meeting. Bring cake.
• It's Monday morning. Celebrate the possibilities of the coming week. Cake for breakfast!
• You got everyone off to school, fed the dog, and got yourself to the office relatively put together. Eat cake.

See how easy that is? What else can you celebrate?

Happy Everything!

Cake time!

Christina

Let Go of Guilt

Time to read: less than one minute, guilt-free

Hello Rebels!

Let's talk about guilt. Here's what I mean:

You exchange texts with an old colleague and say, "Let's have coffee soon." Then you never do.

Insert guilt.

Your mother is in a nursing home. You feel you should visit more often. You don't.

Insert guilt.

You promise to make networking introductions for a college friend who is job hunting. You "forget."

Insert guilt.

Guilt sucks.

Here's the kicker. Guilt isn't real. It's what's known as a "false emotion." You throw guilt up in front of true emotion to feel like you're taking action while you are actually avoiding. Let's look at the above examples through this lens to uncover the real emotions.

The old colleague: If you really wanted to hang out with this person, you'd make it a priority. Instead of guilt, feel sad that you don't choose to make this person a priority. Then, own your choice and let it go.

Your mother: The real emotion here is regret and sadness. It may be grief over the loss of your mother (if she's lost to Alzheimers, for example) or sadness that you don't have the kind of relationship with your mother that makes you want to visit her more often. Or maybe, it's fear about losing her. Rather than false guilt, give yourself permission to feel your actual sadness or fear.

The job hunter: If you're not motivated to help, there's a good chance you said yes to something when you wanted to say no. Maybe you're frustrated by your lack of boundaries and embarrassed that you want to get out of this commitment. You are avoiding the fact that you are out of integrity with yourself and the other person. Instead of hiding behind guilt, take responsibility for your decision and let the person know you're sorry and you can't make the introductions after all.

Guilt is a waste of your time. Instead, put that energy into feeling your real feelings and take ownership of the truth. You'll feel a lot better.

I hope this helps!

Christina

2 Questions to Defeat Doubt

Time to read: a teeny bit over one minute

The stage at Hadestown

You're in a meeting. You say something risky. The room goes silent. One of your colleagues replies, and the meeting moves on. After the meeting, you run your words over and over in your head. You wonder if your colleague thinks you're an idiot. You wonder if you should have kept your mouth shut.

Doubt runs roughshod over your confidence and energy.

Doubt is a story older than time.

My daughter and I spent Labor Day weekend in NYC eating and going to Broadway. We saw Hadestown, a sublime retelling of the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. (If you have a chance to see this show, go. Amazing music. Wonderful story. A parable for life and work.)

Spoiler alert.

If you know your Greek myths, you know how the story ends. Orpheus and Eurydice strike a deal with Hades that they can leave hell, but only if Eurydice walks behind and Orpheus doesn't turn around. The voices of doubt overtake Orpheus, and he turns his head to check that Eurydice is there. As soon as he turns, Eurydice returns to hell and heartbreak ensues. When the show was over, I was sobbing in my seat. (My daughter was mortified.)

Of course, I was sad by the unhappy ending. More than that, I was pissed that doubt won. I wanted so badly for this old tale of love and trust to end with trust. It didn't.

So, what does this have to do with you and your work?

Very often, doubt wins. Doubt overtakes you, and you metaphorically end up in hell, even if it's only the darkness and confusion in your own mind.

What do you do about it? Here are two questions to ask yourself when doubt creeps in:

1. What am I trying to get away with? Maybe you want to hide after the meeting and wish your comment would disappear.


2. What do I not want to be responsible for? It might be a good idea to check in with your colleague. Talking to her feels uncomfortable and vulnerable. You'll get feedback. You don't want to take responsibility for whatever impact you had in the meeting. Not asking about it means it didn't happen (see #1).

What to do: Go straight into the discomfort and ask, "I'd like to check in with you about the meeting. Do you have a minute?"

You'll feel better. You'll defeat doubt. And trust will win.

I hope this helps.

Christina

My Moth Story - Finally!

Time to read: 30 seconds. If you listen to my story on the Moth, 4 minutes and 53 seconds.

Remember this?

Hey Rebels!

My Moth story is finally ready for prime time! Beyond a small handful of family and a couple of friends, you are the first people to see it.

Besides being fun, why does this Moth story matter to you? Here's why:

Getting on that stage...

• is a tale of triumph over fear.
• demonstrates that you can choose how you feel. (i.e. I chose fun and excitement over terror.)
• shows that it's possible to step away from the need to prove yourself and still get amazing results. In fact, you will get better results with less energy and more calm.
• proves that you can do new things. New hard things. New scary things.

Doing this story was one of the most courageous and sublime experiences of my life and sharing it with you feels tender and vulnerable. I'm glad we've built the kind of relationship over the years that makes sharing something like this possible.

So, if this Moth story is a metaphor for your triumph over fear, what will you do?

Enjoy it here!

Email me and tell me all about it. I love to hear from you.

With Rebel Love,

Christina

P.S. Feel free to pass the story around to any of your friends you think would enjoy it.