This Is What Easy Looks Like!

Time to read: 45 seconds

Hello rebels,

A client of mine is looking for work and has decided to use this opportunity to craft his career in his area of passion and life purpose. It feels risky and exciting and scary and wonderful all at once.

He was recently accepted into and attended an exclusive international training program in his area of passion. This training included luminaries in his field, people with gobs of experience, amazing possibility for connection, and the potential for tapping into the unpublished job market. He was simultaneously excited and terrified.

For the event, we set some tactical goals: 1. to get a photo with the biggest star at the conference; 2. come away with at least 5 new connections.

On our call this week, we reviewed his progress toward these goals. Photo with star - check! And the 5 connections... "well," he said, "the conference organizers sat us at tables according to our region so the 5 connections happened easily. I guess I didn't really do the assignment."

What?! Didn't do the assignment? He wanted 5 connections and got 5 connections. In fact, more than 5 connections fell into his lap easily. Something seemed wrong because he hadn't "worked" for the connections. He hadn't struggled.

And, this is how life and work happens when you are on the right track. This is how opportunities flow when you are following your purpose. Opportunities come easily. Connections happen naturally. The universe just seats you at a table with exactly the people you need to meet.

All that energy spent struggling and worrying about making the right connections at the conference? He got to use it to talk about the things he actually cares about and take the next steps toward what he wants.

What would it be like to let go of the struggle and achieve your goals this easily?

You can.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Do you know someone who feels they have to struggle to achieve their goals? Share this newsletter with them. They can join the fun here.

You Already Get It!

Time to read: Less than one minute then you are back at it!

Hello Rebels!

Today’s article is told with permission. Not just with permission but with, “OMG, a RESOUNDING YES!”

One of my new clients, let’s call him Ted, was telling me about…

• His discouraging, demotivating, and soul-sucking job.
• His beautiful, growth-filled, and conscious personal life.

Every day, Ted goes to work, serves up new business and watches his company disappoint and fail to deliver to those new customers in ways, that in his mind, lack integrity. (Why he has tolerated a work situation that lacks integrity is a newsletter for another day.)

And, Ted has made significant and brave changes in his personal world. He has embraced an alcohol-free lifestyle, committed to a wonderful and loving relationship, and prioritized a long list of amazing volunteer activities that feed his life purpose.

One part of his life is integrated and intentional. Another part is out of integrity. Have you seen this dynamic in your world - where one area feels great while another feels crummy?

Here’s the good news. You already get it. You already know what to do.

When I asked Ted what enabled him to be brave and intentional in his personal life, he said “reflection and positive action.”

Perfect. Ted took a homework assignment to think about how to bring his own wisdom of reflection and positive action to his work life. Then he can sit back and watch with awe as things start to change.

So, take a look at the parts of your life that feel great. What are doing to make those parts great? Make a short list and then apply your own wisdom to the parts that stink.

You already know what to do. You already have the tools that work for you. You just have to put them to use.

Then tell me all about it. I love hearing from you.

With rebel love,

Christina

Your Boss Wanted Me to Send You This Message

Time to read: 5 seconds. You've got a plane to catch.

Sedona, AZ

Hi Rebels,

Your boss wanted me to write to you with this simple message:

Take a vacation.

If you have stockpiled a huge bank of vacation days because you're "too busy to leave the office," this means you.

Seriously, take a vacation. Now.

And send me photos.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Do you have a friend who needs to be reminded to use their vacation time? Send them this little hint. They can sign up for more hints here.

Got a Secret Dream?

Time to read: Not more than 2 minutes. Not counting the pauses to breathe.

My dream

Top of the day to you, Rebels!

When you all write to me, you say that sometimes it seems like I'm in your head. That somehow, I knew exactly what you needed to hear. Today, I actually am in your head, and here's what I see in there.

You have a dream.

It may be a quiet dream that you've never said out loud. You likely have taken no steps to make it come true. You've told no one. It sits quietly in your brain and heart, popping up in the wee hours of the morning, slipping by your consciousness while waiting at Starbucks, and maybe disappearing for months to reappear again in a quiet moment.

This dream is probably creative. Say, painting. Or writing a novel. Or learning to belly dance. You tell yourself it's ridiculous, that you don't have time, that it's terrifying, that you don't know how to do whatever it is, and that other more important priorities deserve your attention. Yet, the dream persists in its quiet nudging.

I have such a dream, and I'm stumbling awkwardly (and slowly) toward doing something about it.

My dream? To tell a story on The Moth.

Which brings me back to you. What's the process for stumbling awkwardly toward your dream? As I'm in the middle of the process, here are the steps I'm following:

Step 1: Avoid your dream. Avoid it at all cost. Check Facebook. Push it away. Ignore it. Let years pass while you do nothing. If it sticks to you through all of that, move to Step 2.

Step 2: After avoiding, notice your dream. Make it real to yourself. Bring it forward in your consciousness. Start to tip toe toward what it would be like to do this thing.

Step 3: Tell people. Start with one person. Make it more real by telling a few more people. Let's say you publish a weekly newsletter. You can out yourself there. Bringing other people into your secret dream helps to create personal accountability.

Step 4: Remind yourself that you've done terrifying things before. Like apply for jobs. Or ask for a date. When I published my first newsletter to 80 of my closest friends and relatives, I thought I might die. Now, it's just part of what I do. You can do scary things.

Step 5: Take one little step. Do one little thing that will start the ball rolling. When I hit send on this newsletter, I'm going to click the button on the Moth website that says, "Tell your story." I'm terrified. And you know you can do one thing.

Step 6: Visualize your dream. I'm starting to be able to see myself on that stage, telling a story. I can picture publishing a link to the audio for all of you. This step feels tender to me. You can take your process as slowly as you want.

 

As for the rest of the steps, I'm not sure yet, because I am still somewhere between Steps 4 and 5. I'll report back on the rest once I know what they are. (Whew! My daughter just called me to pick her up from school. I'm saved from Step 5 and can go back to Step 1. At least for a little while.)

What's your secret dream? I'm happy to help you with Step 3. Write to me and tell me all about it.

With Rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Just breathe and take the first step.

P.P.S. If you know someone who has a secret dream, please forward this newsletter to them. They can subscribe for a weekly dose of inspiration about work and life here.

Waiting

Time to read: 30 seconds and change.

Waiting for Godot

In your fast paced, action-oriented life, what is your relationship to waiting?

Consider these situations:

• You feel like you are not appreciated and are being passed over for promotion.
• A director you know walked by you in the hall and didn't acknowledge you.
• You received your performance appraisal and there was some "feedback" that was hard to hear.

You say something you wish you hadn't said in a meeting. In situations like this, the temptation to do something is powerful. When you feel uncomfortable and confused, the desire to fix it, smooth it over, and make yourself comfortable again is a strong driver. In order to restore equilibrium, you might do any of the following: worry, talk to 10 friends about it, call your mom, talk to the person involved, or take a firm stand for what you want.

What would it be like to wait? What happens if you do nothing? What if your only action is to breathe and be still with it?

When you drop the urge to rush to create comfort and sit in your discomfort, my intuition says powerful things will happen for you.

Give waiting a try this week. Then write and tell me all about it.

I'm experimenting with waiting this week, too.

I'm curious to hear what happens.

With rebel love,

Christina

Struggle vs. Ease... Which Do You Choose?

Time to read: 1 minute, 35 seconds

Let's all move into Hotel Ease!

Hi Rebels!

This week, I had a fun email exchange with one of your sister rebels who asked me about the time it takes to write these newsletters. She writes a blog and said it sometimes takes her 10-12 hours to produce a blog post and that "writing is hard work." That got me thinking about all the things you do every day that feel like "hard work."

I had to really think about that before I replied.

1. Because I wanted to say something useful.
2. Because over the years, I have developed a very different relationship with writing and work.

For years, I was mired in a story that work was hard and required struggle. Think: No pain, no gain.

To produce a dissertation, I became unreliable to my friends, unavailable to my partner, and worked many, many hours because I believed "hard work" was the only thing that would get me that darn PhD.

In my corporate job, I believed that long hours and "hard" work made me successful and got me recognized as a top performer. Toward the end of my time at my corporate job, I was working late at night, struggling to keep up with email, and working "hard" while sacrificing time with my family and frankly, my sanity.

The truth is... this "hard" work got me a PhD and did get me recognized as a top performer. And, there were huge costs associated with my choice to see work as "hard" and as a "struggle."

A couple of years ago, I decided to change my perspective toward work, and it has made all the difference. Here's what I said (among other things, like it takes me 20-30 minutes to write a newsletter) in the email exchange. I share this because I'd love for you to be able to shift from "hard" to "ease."

"I hold writing these newsletters (like I hold most things) as fun and easy. It’s part of my personal practices to let go of struggle so I practice ease (not struggle) with things like my newsletter. Holding it with ease liberates the process to take less time and actually be easeful. Sometimes, I don’t have a clue as to what to write, and then it takes a little longer."

Think about a place in your life where you believe "hard work" and struggle are the key to your success. Where can you breathe ease into the process. (Notice, I'm not saying "easy." Even ease has elements of challenge. The question is, what would it be like to drop the struggle and do the same work with ease?)

Give it a try then write and tell me all about it. I love hearing from you.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. If you love this newsletter, please share it with your friends and colleagues. The more, the merrier. Just forward it to them. They can join us here.

Time to Say Good-Bye

Time to read: Less than 2 little minutes of your day.

Good-bye old dream.

Thanks to Marie Kondo, I've put every item in my house through the "joy-o-meter." When I started this process, I could not have foreseen the depth of the letting go.

This process has taken more courage than I anticipated.

One of the hardest pieces has been saying good-bye to old dreams and accomplishments. That got me thinking of you. Where do you allow old dreams to clog your present and your future?

Here's what I mean.

I have a PhD, and 20 years ago I spent months traveling in India, interviewing women dairy farmers, and learning from them how they work within a system of powerful dairy cooperatives to find their own power. It was an amazing project. Women gave generously of their time and stories, and we formed life-long bonds. When my dissertation was complete, a book publisher asked to meet. At that meeting, I knew I didn't want to publish a book. I didn't want to be an academic.

I walked away.

In times of doubt, I look back wistfully thinking I could have been a leading expert on cooperatives, traveling the world to conferences and interfacing with the luminaries in international development. Maybe I could have been a luminary. In times of self-judgment, I chastise my young self for being stupid and selfish.

A well-organized box of cassettes, transcripts and notes has moved with me from apartments to houses. This stuff pre-dates my children. The box has sat there for 20 years radiating the tiniest ray of hope that maybe, someday, I'll publish that book.

Marie Kondo forced me to be honest with myself. I'm never going to publish that book, and it's time to let it go. Here is what I learned from throwing those cassettes, transcripts and notes into the trash:

1. Your old dreams mattered. They mattered then, and they are in you now. You don't need to keep artifacts to take the meaning with you.


2. If you haven't written the book, or built the invention, or taught the class, or started the business, you aren't going to. Be honest with yourself. There is no shame in changing your dream and letting the old ones go. In fact, you have to.


3. Holding onto an old dream, even subconsciously, is blocking your ability to allow what wants to emerge in your life now.


4. When you let it go, honor it. I sent love and prayers to the women who helped me. I read some of my notes to remember the hilarious and challenging moments of that research. I texted my best friend from graduate school who completely understood.


5. Own your choice. If you let the dream slide or you consciously walked away, a wise part of you knew it wasn't your path.


6. Let the past go and get about the business of allowing what wants to happen in your life now.

I'll be honest. This process is exhausting. My couch has been my best friend. And, I can't wait to feel what's possible in this new future.

Warmly,

Christina

P.S. Have a friend who wants to open their future by letting an old dream go? Forward this newsletter to them. They can join here.