Time to Say Good-Bye

Time to read: Less than 2 little minutes of your day.

Good-bye old dream.

Thanks to Marie Kondo, I've put every item in my house through the "joy-o-meter." When I started this process, I could not have foreseen the depth of the letting go.

This process has taken more courage than I anticipated.

One of the hardest pieces has been saying good-bye to old dreams and accomplishments. That got me thinking of you. Where do you allow old dreams to clog your present and your future?

Here's what I mean.

I have a PhD, and 20 years ago I spent months traveling in India, interviewing women dairy farmers, and learning from them how they work within a system of powerful dairy cooperatives to find their own power. It was an amazing project. Women gave generously of their time and stories, and we formed life-long bonds. When my dissertation was complete, a book publisher asked to meet. At that meeting, I knew I didn't want to publish a book. I didn't want to be an academic.

I walked away.

In times of doubt, I look back wistfully thinking I could have been a leading expert on cooperatives, traveling the world to conferences and interfacing with the luminaries in international development. Maybe I could have been a luminary. In times of self-judgment, I chastise my young self for being stupid and selfish.

A well-organized box of cassettes, transcripts and notes has moved with me from apartments to houses. This stuff pre-dates my children. The box has sat there for 20 years radiating the tiniest ray of hope that maybe, someday, I'll publish that book.

Marie Kondo forced me to be honest with myself. I'm never going to publish that book, and it's time to let it go. Here is what I learned from throwing those cassettes, transcripts and notes into the trash:

1. Your old dreams mattered. They mattered then, and they are in you now. You don't need to keep artifacts to take the meaning with you.


2. If you haven't written the book, or built the invention, or taught the class, or started the business, you aren't going to. Be honest with yourself. There is no shame in changing your dream and letting the old ones go. In fact, you have to.


3. Holding onto an old dream, even subconsciously, is blocking your ability to allow what wants to emerge in your life now.


4. When you let it go, honor it. I sent love and prayers to the women who helped me. I read some of my notes to remember the hilarious and challenging moments of that research. I texted my best friend from graduate school who completely understood.


5. Own your choice. If you let the dream slide or you consciously walked away, a wise part of you knew it wasn't your path.


6. Let the past go and get about the business of allowing what wants to happen in your life now.

I'll be honest. This process is exhausting. My couch has been my best friend. And, I can't wait to feel what's possible in this new future.

Warmly,

Christina

P.S. Have a friend who wants to open their future by letting an old dream go? Forward this newsletter to them. They can join here.

Sparking Joy - Why Does It Matter?

Time to read: 1 minute and 25 seconds to change your life!

Thank you, Marie Kondo.

If you've been one of my private clients, you know that I love getting rid of stuff. Purging stuff makes me weirdly happy, and many of my clients catch the discarding bug, too. It's one of the free gifts with purchase. (BOGO coaching. Buy "get happy at work" and get "clean your house" for free!)

I've always known (since requesting a file cabinet for Christmas in 8th grade) that clarity in your physical space, creates clarity in your mental space.

Enter Marie Kondo and her KonMari process. If you have not yet read her book (The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up) or watched her TV show on Netflix, I highly recommend it. She has taken cleaning and discarding to a whole new level, and I LOVE her. Here's why:

1. Although on its surface, it looks like Marie is about getting rid of stuff, she's about something much deeper. What starts as cleaning your closet, becomes a calibration in what brings YOU joy. Through her process, you not only get rid of the stuff that weighs you down, you also tap into your sense of joy. That joy then spreads from your stuff to your relationships, your work, and what you want for your life.


2. In releasing your stuff, Marie gives you permission to release stagnant energy. In doing her process with a friend of mine, I donated 50% of my jewelry to her thrift store. The next day, she called to tell me about a Congolese refugee woman who was thrilled to buy three of my necklaces. The stuff that was creating stagnant energy in my life was released to bring joy to someone else. By releasing your things to realize their purpose, energy starts moving in your life, too.


3. Your stuff weighs you down - with old memories, fears of the future ("I might need that someday") and the energy it takes to organize and care for it. By letting go of your stuff, you free your creativity. You free your future. And once you start, that liberation is catching. My daughter asked if we can do the KonMari process in her room. Time for the stagnant pile of stuffed animals to be released to create room for a passionate teenager. (Mom - are you reading this? Did you hear? It's catching. Not that I'm hinting or anything.)

It's cold out there (in Minnesota at least). This is the perfect time to release stagnant energy so you can enter spring with all the joy and newness of the season. Anything is possible out there.

Really and truly. Give it a try.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Marie's book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is available in any bookstore. Like here.