My #1 Tip For Transition

Time to read: 43 seconds

Not actual dorm room. We're organized but not this organized.

This is the season of transition….last vacations, kids starting school, and work projects ramping up. Times of transition are discombobulating at best, and anxiety and conflict-producing at worst. Think of families bickering in the school supply aisle at Target.

We drop off our first child at college today. She's excited and ready. Bags are packed. Every imaginable closet organizer is purchased. I poured my feelings into a long to-do list. I vacillate between thrill to see her launch and agony over watching her go.

Which brings me to my hot tip about how to manage transitions.

Simply acknowledge you are in transition and be with it…discomfort and all. In the past, I fretted and tried to control change. Guess what I learned?

It's impossible to control anything change.

You can't speed up time. You can't muscle your feelings into submission. The transition is going to happen despite what you might want.

You are, however, strong enough to handle whatever happens and however you feel.

New job? Promotion? Seasonal change? Getting older? Moved a parent into a nursing home? This strategy works for every and all transitions, big or small.

The other thing that helps is talking to me! This is the one time of year that I open my calendar for free 30-minute chats about what's going on for you and help you develop a solution or two. I'm also enrolling the 2023 class for my signature group coaching program, Clarity U.

Here's what one graduate has to say:

"Working with Clarity U gave me insights and tools that I use on a daily basis. I tell my friends that this work has been more valuable to me than a lifetime of therapy. (And a lot more fun.) I wish I had done it 20 years ago. Christina is amazingly insightful and honest, and one of the warmest and most encouraging people I have ever had the honor to know.” - E.G.

Intrigued? Let's talk. We start in early October so the offer to chat is only open for a few weeks. Grab your spot.

Can't wait to connect!

The Power of Changing Your Focus

Time to read: 56 seconds

Change Your Focus

I spent last week working at a spa in Mexico called Rancho La Puerta. (If you've been to The Ranch, email me!) I love teaching coaching classes, hiking, eating vegetables, sleeping, hip-hop dancing and doing sound healing.

I arrived depleted. Exhausted. Anxious. (Can you relate?)

I left hopeful. Calm. Renewed. (You can have this, too without crossing a border or buying anything.)

How can you duplicate this transformation from the comfort of your couch and neighborhood?

Here's what you do: Change what you pay attention to. Decide what you want to make real in your life. What do you talk about? What do you notice? What do you think about? What do you do with your time?

If the answer to those questions is worry, read news, and check items off your to-do list…well…how do those things affect your inner landscape? For many of you, those things equal stress.

Changing your focus is easy:

• talk about something you love
• spend time in an interesting conversation
• take your headphones out and listen to the birds on your dog walk
• cook tasty food
• call an old friend
• find what's right in the people and situations in your life rather than what's wrong

You have more power than you realize to determine your daily experiences. Tune your awareness and suddenly, you'll see that a beautiful reality exists alongside the ugly one. The beautiful reality is just as real (and maybe more real) than the stressed-out one.

Be well and have a good weekend.

Returning To the Office?

Time to read: 30 seconds.

Many of my clients are returning to the office in some form in the fall. They have mixed feelings. Some are excited. Some are not.

When you’re staring down big, complicated, changes, please know that you don’t have to boil the entire ocean. Instead:

Start anywhere.

And start with just one thing.

You only have to do one thing at a time. Then you’ll do the next thing. And the next. Until the train is back on the track and you’re moving forward smoothly.

That’s it.

Anne and I have been leading a 90-minute live event for corporate teams to help them prepare to return to in-person work effectively and smoothly. If your team is having feelings about returning to the office, we can help.

In the words of a recent participant:

"This workshop helped me prepare to return with intention rather than simply winging it.”

You have important work to do. We will help you be ready.

Email me here if you'd like more information about hosting this workshop for your team.

Annoyed? Use It For Good

Time to read: 56 seconds

Years ago when I hired my first coach, I got 2-word responses when I emailed her. If I was having a "learning experience" between sessions (usually accompanied by tears and snot), I had to wait until my next session to tell her about it.

These things annoyed me.

Other things that annoy me (it's a long list so I'll only give you a few):

• When people don't respond to emails.
• When people get aggressive or yell at me in traffic.
• When a group jumps straight to the work without establishing relationships first.

Annoyance provides insight into what's important to you. Other people get to design their lives and work however they like. I have no judgment for the 2-word email or the lack of response. (I do judge the traffic situation ever so slightly.)

Take a look at your annoyances and let them guide how you design your commitments.

For example:

• I value communication and connection so I reply to every email.
• I want my clients to feel supported out in the world so they are able email and text me between sessions.
• If it annoys you when people interrupt your focus, make sure you check before interrupting others.
• If you know the power of relationship to make work easier, then you do what's needed to prioritize connection.
• If getting cut off in traffic annoys you, be generous with those trying to merge.

Using your annoyances lifts being annoyed from something that's... well... annoying and elevates them into tools to create work and life on your terms.

What To Do When You Feel Angry

Time to read: still 5 seconds

If you feel helpless and angry, do one thing.

As always, I love to hear from you.

Exhausted? Foggy? Here's What's Happening...

Time to read: Less than a minute

How are you doing around 5:00?

I bet you find yourself reaching for a glass of wine, exhausted, barely able to put two sentences together. Without the wine, that's exactly what I'm like every evening.

so

so

tired

On the Corporate Rebel Daily call, everyone does a two-word check-in about how they feel in that moment. Lately words like, "weary," "exhausted," and "tired" have been popular.

What the heck is going on? We have more free time. We aren't rushing around. We're eating meals at home. It seems like we should be better rested, not worse.

Here's the answer. It's called allostatic load. Read about that here. The executive summary is that your brain is working on overdrive even if your body isn't. One of my coaches, Ann Betz, used the apt metaphor of your cell phone: All the apps and systems run down the battery even if you're not using your phone.

That is your brain right now.

You have stress and anxiety running in your operating system which explains why you can only handle The Bachelor after 6:00 and can barely muster the energy to pull yourself off the couch to go to bed.

The danger is that you start to feel that it is your inadequacy that causes you to be so tired. Now you know that allostatic load is a real thing and has nothing to do with your character or abilities. So, enjoy the Bachelor and take care of yourself.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Here are two free resources to help you and yours during this challenging time. Spread them around and enjoy!

1. Rebels at Home Challenge: This challenge is a series of eight 3-minute daily video exercises to uplift you and help you find your place in this global pandemic. And it will give you something new to talk about at your next Zoom happy hour. Sign up here.

2. The Unconventional Guide to Working from Home: This is a downloadable pdf of practical tips and big picture strategies to help you be efficient, focused and effective at home. Click to download the pdf here.

Is anxiety running you? There is a way out.

Estimated read time: just under one minute

You can be free! And keep your job. At the same time.

I hear from many people that their anxiety about work runs high. The economy is bad. They've lost their mojo. They feel stuck, pigeon-holed. They don't know the way out of the rut. Does this sound familiar?

My client, Todd, was run by anxiety. He was short-tempered in meetings, and his team's performance was suffering. He believed that only a buttoned up, carefully controlled version of himself was welcome at the office. That belief was stifling his creativity and happiness, and the stress of stuffing important parts of himself was coming out sideways. The anxiety was killing him and his team.

Working everyday from anxiety is never going to get you what you want. Certainly, it affects things like your sleep and fun, but it also affects your performance and engagement and therefore your opportunities, promotions and at the end of the day, your money. Todd turned his anxiety around, and you can, too.

In coaching, Todd created practices to manage his anxiety and took risks to bring the creative, funky parts of himself to work. He got familiar with his own unique processes and strengths. As a result, Todd's anxiety was gone. He became physically active again. His team got happy and productive. He became a vital, positive contributor in meetings, and his director couldn't believe the fast turnaround.

You can learn to manage your anxiety to take charge of your life and choices again. You can find meaning and bring joy and creativity back to your day.

If you feel ready to lose the anxiety and claim your success, let's hop on the phone. In 30 minutes, we'll create an anxiety-busting, creativity building strategy that will send you back to the office transformed. Email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com to schedule a time with me.

I can't wait to connect.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.