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If you've followed the past three weeks about giving 100% in your relationships (no more, no less), today might seem like a contradiction. Stay with me.
Maybe you're the one who always schedules the lunch or pulls the friends together for a road trip, and you've wondered, "Why am I the only one who...?" Being the person who initiates doesn't necessarily mean you're over-performing.
Every group, every pair, needs an instigator: the person who picks up the phone, sets the date, sends the group text. Without one, nothing happens.
On Friday, I went to a reunion of over 200 people who worked for the same company 20 years ago. It happened because one man sent an email saying, "Hey, let's get together next Friday." He booked the space, ordered the food, handled the communication, and recruited volunteers. He looked like he was having the time of his life. He wasn't over-performing. He was doing what he loved, and 200+ of us showed up because of it.
People play different roles. You organize the lunch, a friend remembers birthdays, you bring the food, another friend finds the perfect gift. Each one matters.
Still, the instigator role can feel lopsided, and that feeling is worth noticing. Ask yourself: is this a gift or a burden? If you enjoy it, appreciate what you bring and let the "Why me?" story go. If it's wearing you down, ask for help with the logistics or let someone else pick the date and place.
This week, think about which role you play, and whether you've thanked the people who play the others.
Just a thought. :-)
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