What To Do When You Feel Like You Can't Do Anything

Time to read: 1 second

My list of top line practices

Lately, I've talked with many clients about anxiety and exhaustion. It's year-end, and people are busy. Everyone is ready for a break.

Can you relate?

When you are overwhelmed, burned out, or you've gotten to the point where you can't imagine scheduling one.more.thing, here's what to do. (Credit for this idea goes to Liz Gilbert who was interviewed on Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things.)

Create a list of ten top-line behaviors you can turn to when you feel like you've got nothing left. This list is for low motivation. Sadness. Transition. Stress. Make a list of 10 things you know you can do easily.

Here are examples:

• organize your sock drawer
• meditate
• snuggle your dog
• knit
• read
• bake
• purge your pens of ones that don't work or ones you just don't like (I do this when I'm having trouble getting started on something)
• go for a walk
• call a friend

I keep my list on my phone and recommend that clients document their lists someplace easy to access. The whole point is you don't have to think about it. You simply look at the list and go. If you have to, you do the list for days until you find your mojo again.

I hope this helps.

One Word That Will Bring You Peace And Calm

Time to read: 42 seconds

Life and work change. You have a period of stability then things change again. Every day, I hear from people about layoffs, new babies, new bosses, retirement, sudden illness, reorganizations, and of course the stress of everything happening in our world right now.

I've thought a lot recently about what brings peace and calm. The best answer I've found is one word:

Complexity

When you grip the status quo ("But I loved my old boss") or cling to the one way something must be ("I am someone who works. No way I'm retiring.") you stay stuck, limit your options, and find yourself standing rigidly in one corner, certain that you're right.

The irony is that holding complexity helps you loosen your grip, and find ease in curiosity and understanding. Peace comes from being able to see how two contradictory things can be true at the same time.

When you can see that, all kinds of new possibilities open up.

Happy fall!

Ready For A Change?

Time to read: 1 minute, 46 seconds

When Deana called me, she loved her job as the Executive Director of Business Operations for a big company in a big city. Then the pandemic hit in the middle of her Clarity U cohort, and change came fast and furious. Work from home. The possibility of an early retirement. Maybe even a move.

Deana wrestled with these decisions. Retiring from her job...moving to a new city…what did that mean for her financially? What did it mean for her identity? Thanks to the tools she learned in Clarity U, Deana retired with style and picked up stakes and moved to a new home in her dream city.

Deana says,

"I would say Clarity U helped me sort through all the old patterns, voices and stories that were getting in my way. The program was chock full of tools, concepts, methods, and approaches facilitated by a strong, intuitive, and caring coach and undergirded with peer support, feedback, and encouragement. From my new home in Santa Fe, I am filled with gratitude for the tools and people who helped me get here."

If you want a slice of what Deana found, I'd love to talk!

I've opened my calendar to connect with you 1:1. Choose a time here . We'll talk through what's going on in your world, find a solution or two and explore if Clarity U is a good fit for you.

Clarity U starts on November 16 so the window to chat with me will close soon.

I look forward to talking with you!

How To Resolve Your Burnout

A vacation to Paris, although pretty great, isn't going to fix it.

One word for you. Burnout.

I hear about burnout a lot. Any of this ring true for you?

• Exhaustion
• Lack of motivation
• That sick feeling on Sunday afternoon
• Wondering if you need to quit or work at Target

A number of my clients have taken sabbaticals or in some cases, lengthly leaves which might end up lasting forever. Friends have resolved their burnout by quitting intense jobs to become baristas.

You think you can fix your burnout with a fruity drink under a beach umbrella? The thing is, when you return to work and life, all the conditions that led to your burnout are still there.

So it becomes a cycle.

Burnout, rest. Burnout, rest.

The exhaustion and lack of motivation never resolve.

Does this sound like you or someone you know?

Good news! I'm going to give you all my best tips and strategies for managing your energy at the live event, Energizing U. You'll be able to take what you learn into your life to change the conditions and resolve the exhaustion so you feel more energized and motivated in your work and life.

If you're not burned out, please come. What we're talking about has universal application wherever you are in life.

Energizing U is 11:00am - 12:00pm CT on Thursday October 26. If you want to amp up your energy and movtivation, this one's for you! Sign up here.

What I Learned This Summer Part 4: Trust the Magic

My dog wants me to work here

Today might be a little longer than usual as the story is so good. The point is to show you how to make the magic happen in your career.

Hint: Wait. Pay attention.

Here's the background of seemingly unrelated things that have been rolling around in my head for a couple of years:

• I live near a college and walk my dogs on campus everyday.
• I love the energy of early adulthood, and paid for my PhD by working in student affairs as a Residence Hall Director.
• My clients now include a number of 21-year-olds, and it's thrilling to teach them the lessons I wish I had known at their age.
• I have loosely thought about creating a program for young adults and have done nothing with that idea.
• I miss having colleagues that I see every day and the ambient conversations that happen in the cafeteria and hallway.

Here's the story:

My husband and I were walking on campus, and he suggested I might do a program for college students. I couldn't shut the conversation down fast enough. It was my restorative August, and I could not tolerate even a fun, inspirational conversation about work.

As we continued to walk, a door opened and hundreds of new students poured out. We pivoted our route to avoid the crowd and found ourselves walking next to a woman. I asked if she had just presented to the first years, and it turns out she is the VP of Student Affairs. We discovered we're neighbors, discussed her kids, our kids, and then I mentioned how much I loved my time in student affairs. Then she said, "Might you be interested in a part-time job?"

For the first time since I became a coach, I thought... "yeah, maybe."

We're having tea soon.

I don't know where this will lead or I want to add a part-time job to a full life, and here's my point. The magic happens when you least expect it. I wasn't just not looking, I actively shut down the conversation. Then one minute later, an opportunity fell out of nowhere.

So, let yourself long for things. Let ideas roll around in your head. Think about and even talk about unrelated interests. Then say hello, be out in the world, watch for the open door, and walk through with curiosity.

I'm amazed as you are.

My next live event, Energizing U, is coming up on October 26. If you want to amp up your energy and movtivation, this one's for you! Sign up here.

What I Learned This Summer Part 3: You'll Know When Its Time

Time to read: 36.25 seconds

Last week I told you I took the month of August off. The truth is I was bone tired. Not burned out because I love what I do, and after the pandemic and a bunch of personal stuff, I needed to put everything down and recover.

I was unmotivated. I slept until 8:30. Going to the gym was a victory. Major sources of entertainment were walking my dogs, hanging with friends, and reading. I could not muster the energy for anything related to work. I couldn't even talk about it. (You'll hear more about that next week.)

A little voice wondered if my drive would ever return. If my new normal would be nothing but dog walks and tea.

Then, in the past week, as I've started seeing clients again and planning for a new cohort of my signature group program, Clarity U (more coming about that later), I started to imagine a couple of free online events and what I wanted to write in my newsletter. Ideas started flowing, and I'm excited to create events and content for you.

The takeaway for you is that you can trust yourself to know when it's time to turn it off. And when you're ready to turn it back on. Your motivation and energy ebb and flow. Be ready to move when it flows, and honor your need for the ebb.

You can get more information and sign up for Creating U here and Energizing U here.

What I Learned This Summer Part 2: Change Is Possible!

Time to read: 52 seconds + the links to sign up for 2 free Live Events

Couch necessities

Welcome to fall, everyone!

I took the entire month of August off. For the first time in my life, I took an extended break, and I learned a lot.

For the next few weeks, I'm going to share What I Learned on Summer Vacation and invite you to two live events inspired by my time off.(Details and sign-up below.)

Part 1: Change is possible

Fifteen years ago, I was so "busy" that I was unable to sit down to read a book. During winter break, a friend from work called every day to ask, "have you laid on the couch reading a magazine yet?"

Of course not! With my free time, I cleaned closets, sorted my children's toys, and ran to appointments. There was much to do, and all of it felt urgent. At my friend's suggestion, I lay down to read. I made it three minutes.

Fast forward to this August. Not only did I shut everything down for 5 weeks, I got Covid and spent 5 days isolated in my bedroom watching season after season of British mysteries. Not only was I able to slow down and watch TV for 5 days, I enjoyed it.

I'm sharing this story so you can see how the characteristics you think are "just who I am" can change. Through coaching, reflection, and practice, I've changed from a woman who felt like life was urgent to a woman who can exist in spaciousness. It felt revolutionary when I realized how much I've changed.

The bottom line: If you decide to, you can change old habits and behaviors, too in order to create your life according to who you want to be and what you want to do.

I've created two live events this October to help you make those changes. Get more info and sign up for Creating U here and Energizing U here.

Cool, isn't it?

Delighted to be back!