How to Transform Terror Into Triumph!

Time to read: one minute, five seconds

When you google "triumph image," you get a thousand images of this motorcycle.

I have no idea what it is, and the googles clearly wanted you to see it.

When I posted my story about the Moth to Facebook, I was struck by something a high school friend said. She posted, "I’m envious of your courage, I do not have any."

That got me thinking. Is it true that some people have courage and some don't?

I don't believe that for one minute.

Everyone has fear, and everyone is courageous. Many of you have told me about being laid off and then finding a job. Or learning to live with a chronic illness. Or jumping out of an airplane. Or saying no to a project for the first time because it doesn't align with your personal goals. That is courage.

Although the Moth event is very much about the content and telling my story, the deeper narrative is the triumph of joy over fear. I thought I'd pull back the curtain so you can see how the process worked.

1. Terror: I spent years dreaming of telling a story on the radio. Then I spent two years actively not clicking the "Tell a story" link on the Moth website.

Triumph: Finally clicking the button.

The lesson? No step is too small and no step forward is insignificant. Just take one tiny step.

2. Terror: A week before the Moth event, I tripped over my own feet and fell on my a** on the sidewalk while walking my dog.

Triumph: Once I recovered from the embarrassment and frustration of falling, I could see the wake-up call. I was indulging my fear. I decided to approach this event with joy and excitement rather than fear and anxiety. That decision changed everything.

The lesson? You can choose to indulge your fear or you can choose to embrace joy, excitement and ease.

3. Terror: Before the Moth event, I worried about all the other awesome story tellers and what everyone would think of me, especially if I told my story badly.

Triumph: I let go of the need to prove something, and all the pressure was released.

The lesson? You have nothing to prove. When you let go of that fact, you take a huge monkey off your back. You become liberated to step into your gifts.

And finally, when you move through the fear, you open the door for amazing things to happen.

What is the fear to triumph you wish for yourself? Write to me and tell me all about it. I love hearing from you.

With rebel love,

Christina

I Can't Stop Talking About Decision Making!

Time to read: 1:12.56 min

Hi Rebels!

Friends and clients are making big decisions this spring. I can't stop talking about decision-making, because it's a place where you can make your life so much easier. I'm going to share with you another nuance for efficient and effective decision-making, because as I witness the various processes, I'm reminded of one thing.

Life wasn't meant to be this hard.

I wrote a few weeks ago about gathering information and feeling your feelings. (If you want the full set of hot tips about decision-making, you can get them here.)

Today, I want to show you how to tune your antenna to open versus closed energy.

Have you ever experienced something like this?

You walk into an interview and things feel off. You don't connect with the interviewers. You don't like the building. Do you take the job or not?

You visit a house in a great neighborhood. The price is right. The location is good. It's new and pretty, and a good investment. Something feels funny. Logic says you should buy it. Should you?

In each of these situations, you are probably tempted to decide using your smart brain and logic. You are strong and can make anything work by motoring through.

OMG. No!

Stop the madness.

The truth is, you have an astute antenna for picking up energy. When something feels hard and stagnant, it might be that it isn't meant to be or you're stepping over something important. If you look back over times when you pushed past your antenna, you will probably see intolerable jobs, costly mistakes, and time wasted.

Let's relook at the situations above through the lens of energy and ease:

If you are making a choice like a job or getting a dog, feel into whether the options feel open or closed. Is the energy moving forward or feeling like a closed door? If the energy feels constricted, stale or random, don't take that job or get that dog. Go where the energy feels open and flowing, even if logically it seems like you should take that job.

Logic isn't the only driver in a decision. With something like a house, visit it again and ask yourself, "Is this my house?" Give the decision time. Then, be honest with yourself, even if your choice sounds illogical to your brain.

Your decisions will become much easier when you are honest with yourself about the energy in your options. You've got sharp antenna. Use them. Pay attention.

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. Are your friends and colleagues struggling with decisions like mine are? Help them out by forwarding this email to them. They can join us here.

Do You Dread Bad News?

My little bunnies many years ago.

When you apply for a new job, go for a promotion or put your hat into the ring for something you really, really, want, do you lie awake at night worrying, "What if I get bad news?"

I'm in this exact spot, and this week I realized there may be no such thing as bad news. Wouldn't that be awesome? Here's what I mean...

My daughter is heading to high school next year, and my son has decided to consider joining her at a new school. This means they have applied to a number of places, and we have waited MONTHS to find out if they are admitted. We find out this week. (I'm doing lots of yoga and meditation to stay calm as the minutes tick by.)

Yesterday a friend commented that she hopes we don't get the "bad letter." When I heard those words, something in me clicked and my nerves calmed the heck down.

There really is no possible "bad letter" that could arrive this week. They will either be admitted or they won't. You will either get the job or you won't. Those are the simple facts. It's the story that you make up about the facts that causes the late-night worrying. Try these on:

"If I don't get the promotion, it's because I'm not respected by senior management."

"If I don't get this job, it was my last chance and my career will stall, and I'll eventually be homeless."

"If my kids don't get into this school, then…. what?….Their lives are over? They are destined for a horrible high school experience? Their future is in jeopardy?"

Can you see how ridiculous this thinking is?

The arrival of supposed "bad" news, is simply the arrival of additional information. And with that information you make your next choice. Do you stay at the company or move on? Do you do something different in your job search or try again? Do you retool your skills so you are better qualified next time?

The fact of the matter is that things always turn out. Something always results, and you are always ready to handle whatever it is, even if it's painful. My children will go to high school. You will have opportunities if you want them. They are growing into amazing people. You are an amazing person. That's what matters.

So, you (and I) can let go of the fear of the "bad" letter and know that all you have to do is be ready to make your next move.

So simple.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. I'd love it if you'd share this post with your colleagues, friends and family. Word of mouth is the best way to spread good stuff. Your friends can sign up here to get the a weekly dose of insight, wisdom, and good humor to make them happier and more fulfilled at work (and in life).

Do You Get In Your Own Way?

Over my 7 years of coaching, I've heard time and again from people who see that the #1 thing that holds them back from getting what they want is themselves. Their thinking, fears, and unconscious reactions are the things that stop them from taking that next step or breaking out of an old and tired pattern.

Do any of these stories sound familiar to you?

• You are unhappy in your current job or perhaps your current profession, and are willing to "tough it out" for fear that you'll never find the same security someplace else.
• You're a talented professional who keeps seeking a new job in the hopes that things will finally be different only to get there and find it's the same. (Or my favorite version of this: Keep overworking in the hope that you will finally "get there" only to find that the line to success keeps moving, and there's always more to do.)
• You want to take that next step in your career and stories of past failures or fear stop you from taking action.

In all my years of working with clients, I've seen that making an emotional shift is what creates lasting change. Change comes from releasing the anger, frustration or sadness and learning to use those emotions to unlock the mysteries to long-standing habits that do not serve you. We all have these habits, and we let them hold us back.

You have them. I have them.

I've been exploring my ingrained habits and beliefs since the fall. I have been enrolled in an advanced coaching training to develop my toolbox to include strategies to help you break free of unhelpful patterns of thought, feeling and behavior. Wouldn't you love to put work and life on your terms and to feel like the driver of your life?

You can!

You can get started with a live webinar at noon CT on Friday, February 2nd.

Carol Ross, a dear friend of mine, and a popular guest in many Corporate Rebel events, is presenting Live Your Great Story in 2018!

In this free 60-minute webinar, you will learn:

1. The three stories (Victim, Overcoming, and Great) that you live--and how these stories can either lift you up or take you down.
2. A tool for understanding which story you--and others--are living, at any moment. This tool will help you put work and life on your terms by letting you choose the experience you want to have.
3. The breadcrumbs to find your way back to what you want, no matter what your current circumstances.

This webinar is free and open to everyone. All you have to do is register right here.

The Live Your Great Story in 2018 webinar will start you on the path to create what you want.

I'll see you there!

Christina

Is fear of failure holding you back?

I wrote you this great newsletter about Adele's public fail at the Grammy's this week as an example of how failing is part of being a rebel. And then wouldn't you know it, the universe delivered my own public fail to share. Here you go. Up close and personal.

I see it all the time. Maybe you don't say what you really think for fear of looking stupid. Or you fear changing careers because it's too late. Or you don't do the thing (publish a blog, ask someone to be your mentor) for fear of falling on your face publicly.

For me that fear is technology - that my newsletter system will send something that isn't finished or that I won't understand an app and will make a fool of myself in public.

Just minutes ago, in the middle of the community call with my Rebel Leadership Group, the internet and the phone went down - like in my whole neighborhood down. The women on the other end of the web interface heard me drop off into space and on my end, crickets were chirping where there had been a lively conversation. Ugh. My worst fear was coming true - public tech issues with no way to reach out for support.

Know what I did?

I panicked. (For a luxurious 10 seconds.)

Then I kicked into recovery mode, figured out solutions to complete the call, and realized that all the lessons I shared with you about Adele's failure, were lessons for me, too.

Did the Grammys stop? Nope.

Did the world end? Nope.

Did the women in my group lose faith in me because the internet didn't work for 10 minutes? Nope.

Failure connects us deeply. Every artist in the Grammy theater has failed in front of a stadium full of people. The people in my Rebel Leadership Group face failures at work. We don't wish public failure on others, and it connects us as humans when it happens.

Here are four important lessons from my (and Adele's) failure this week:

1. When you put yourself out there in a big way, you will fail. It's part of the deal when you choose to play the life game. My work requires technology and vulnerability. There will be failure.
2. Something is more important than the failure. For Adele, that was her tribute to George Michael. For me, it is supporting the changes and commitments the people in my coaching group are experiencing. Your important commitment helps you move quickly from failure to recovery to learning.
3. The bigger fear is NOT doing the thing. Over time people are more sorry when they don't do the thing than when they do the thing and fail. To be a Corporate Rebel, you are about taking risks and putting yourself out there. What if you never ask for a mentor? Or go for that new project? Or say no to things that suk your time and energy. What's lost by letting fear drive is greater than anything gained by staying safe.
4. Your graceful and public acceptance of your own failures gives others latitude to take risks. Witnessing someone else's failure and recovery is a huge relief. It promotes innovation, risk-taking, experimentation and growth.

Whew. I hope this is helpful. Ahhhh….failure.

Then email me at christina@boydsmithcoaching.com and tell me all about a failure of yours! I love to hear from you!

Christina

5 things I want you to know in these tough times

I've struggled with what to write this week. The news has been like drinking from a political firehose. It's hard to keep up.

I wanted to find a brilliant answer for you. A salve that would solve the pain in the world. I haven't found the shiny solution yet. If you spot it, will you let me know?

That said, I have uncovered some truths about Corporate Rebels that I'd like to share. My hope is that they give you hope.

1. Corporate Rebels understand that uncertainty is the only certainty. If you don't know where to put your attention or what to do in the current climate, you are not alone. You don't have to know your final destination in order to take action. (Just like your career.)
2. Corporate Rebels know that change is inevitable, and hard. We are in the midst of significant change. If you have lived through an acquisition, a divorce, or a relocation, you know that change is disruptive and anxiety-producing, even if it's change you wanted.
3. Corporate Rebels are complex thinkers. You see beyond either/or and us/them. You can hold complexity, even things you disagree with, in service of a larger vision. It is going to take creativity and innovation to navigate the divisiveness and pain. We need unique voices right now. Like yours.
4. Corporate Rebels know that how you show up is as important as what you do. Staying silent on important issues at work keeps people unhappy in their jobs. With everything that's going on in the world, it's important not to sit quietly on the sidelines. Some people will march (see the peace dove my children, husband, and I marched under in St. Paul), some write letters, others reach out with compassion to their Muslim neighbors, some pray. Do what you do best. Write. Bake. Reach out. Show up at work with kindness and love. You have tremendous power to make a difference with your gifts from where you are right now.
5. Corporate Rebels know that self care if crucial. In order to be involved in your community, to do your job well, to show up for your family, and to navigate the work that needs to be done, you have to take care of yourself. Maintaining your inner peace and health will ensure peace and health in your outer world, too.

As has been said many times, we're in uncharted waters. It would be lovely if there was a simple solution and a best action. There isn't. And, you have tremendous power to be what you wish to see in the world. Go be that.

With deep respect and love,

Christina

Before you sink into your new year's resolution, read this...

It's 2017, Christina! You've eaten all the eats, slept in for a few days, and are now back at the office. Thank goodness 2016 is in the rearview mirror.

Now what?

This process will help you create your now what. I've used this process myself and with my clients for 6 years, and it has created powerful intentions and results each time. It's easy and at the end, you'll have a guiding theme to launch your success for 2017.

Instructions:

Take 3 pieces of paper.

1. On the first page, write down all your disappointments, failures, losses, and breakdowns.
2. On the second page, write all your successes, celebrations, accomplishments and breakthroughs.
3. On the third page, write everything you learned about life and yourself in 2016.
4. When your lists are complete, sit down and analyze them for themes. Look at the big picture. What do you see?
5. While looking at the big picture of your year, use what you see to create the theme/words/intentions that will guide your new year.

Here are some examples to help you:

• One of my clients saw that she spent the year doing what everyone else wanted for her. Her theme for the new year became "Trust myself."
• One year, I noticed that my failures and disappointments list was too short. I hadn't taken enough risk. My theme for the new year was, "Go big or go home."
• Another client had dealt with a significant loss and through that recovery had set a beautiful foundation for a new year of Live! Love! Fly! Laugh!
• One year I spent a great deal of time traveling away from home. My theme for the next year was, "Compassion, Creativity, Come Home."

It can help to talk about your lists with a friend or coach who may be able to illuminate patterns in your successes and failures and help uncover where you are being pointed for 2017. When you're done, hit reply to this email and tell me your theme!

I wish you health, prosperity and happiness!

Happy New Year.

Christina