Sadness is part of your soul, test

Estimated read time: 1 minute, 57 seconds.

From the vigil in Orlando

The Corporate Rebel Series launched with an amazing recorded interview with Ann Betz about brain integration and success at work.

People asked me all day if I was excited for the launch. The answer was no.

Don't get me wrong. I love the series. Ann's interview is spunky and smart. I could muster some excitement, turn to friends for pep talks, present an excited face to the world, and I choose not to do any of those things.

I am profoundly sad about everything that has happened and continues to happen in the world. Rather than numb or deny my sadness, I want to honor it.

Shit happens to all of us. We face job losses, health scares, death, or terrible tragedies (like Sandyhook or Orlando). Even the monotony of working a soulless job can make us sad.

I struggled this week with whether to even refer to Orlando, and then I realized, that each of us has a responsibility to use our platform - whether it's a kitchen table, a board room, our FB page or a stage - to take a stand for love and peace: at work, on the street, at home, and in the public discourse.

We need our sadness. It's what connects us to each other and our own souls. Our emotions make us human. Staying connected to our dark emotions like sadness is part of the "without sacrificing your soul" part of being a Corporate Rebel.

Here are a few thoughts from this sad place:

1. Sadness is a natural human response when something is wrong. It's a sign that you are sensitive to the world around you and that you're paying attention. Be glad for that.
2. Sadness opens your heart. When you experience the full range of your emotions, you know you're alive.
3. Your sadness creates compassion for others: a customer who needs your help, a colleague who is struggling, a friend. Reach out.
4. Your sadness creates connection. People crave connection. (In fact, connection is one of the #1 factors that creates happiness at work.) When you share your vulnerabilities with others, the result is amazing.
5. Sadness leads to action. To give money. To write letters. To advocate for change in your workplace or community. To support those directly effected by tragedy and loss.

Own your little part of the universe. Love is bigger than hate. And it is our responsibility to live love every day in our souls and our actions.

Warmly,

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

What to do when what you really want is a nap.

Estimated read time: 2 minutes.

Here's one of my favorite images from the interviews. This one will be live in July. Don't we look like we're having fun?!

We've established that I have busted my butt for the last three months producing the amazing Corporate Rebel Series.

What I really wanted this afternoon was a nap. I didn't have it in me to do one more thing.

What I needed to do was conduct another interview and write this newsletter. To say that I didn't feel like it would be an understatement.

This got me thinking about you and all the times you don't feel like (fill in the blank).

Another story: When I was in a leadership program a few years ago we had to do all these terrifying things high in the trees, where we could, like, fall and die.

One of them was this balance beam that felt like it was 6 stories tall. We had to get from one tree to the other by walking the balance beam. As I was scooching across, legs shaking, stomach hurting, doing everything I could not to look at the ground (oh so far down there), our leader yelled out, "This is what commitment looks like!" My first thought was, "Nah. I'm a mess." Then I got it. That moment has stuck with me ever since.

Commitment is not pretty. It's not certainty. Commitment does not require you to feellike it. Commitment requires you to show up even when you don't feel like it.

Commitment requires you to focus on your purpose, your bigger reason for being. For me that means remembering the people in offices who are wondering if they are crazy... who crave the freedom to be themselves while still succeeding at work.

So I put on my mascara, conducted an awesome interview with an expert on executive presence and sat down to write this newsletter. This work matters. Yourwork matters. Let the mattering carry you forward even when you don't feel like it.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

A humbling look behind the scenes!

Estimated read time: 2 minutes

The official production studio for the Corporate Rebel Series (note the requisite Nerf blasters and penguin audience)

The Corporate Rebel Series is finally on its way! Alleluia, praise baby Buddha, thank you, universe!

The truth is I feel so vulnerable having this series out there that I can hardly breathe.

Today, I want to pull back the curtain to show you what it's been like on the inside so you can see that:

1. I struggle with the same things you do.
2. You can see what's possible when you face your fear, make a commitment to something big, and keep moving.

Sound like a plan?

First, the Corporate Rebel Series required me to face my fears.

In order to create this series, I had reach out to people I didn't know and ask them to be part of it. (Even for an extrovert like me, this was terrifying.)

I spent 2 weeks hitting send on email after email (139 to be exact). There were people who seemed so big and so important, I couldn't bring myself to contact them. With the encouragement of my friends, I finally did. Many of them said yes! (Amazing people like Ann Betz, Dr. Ron Friedman, and Henry Kimsey-House are part of the series.)

After 39 emails and 5 live conversations, the next hundred got easier.

Second, this project has required me to stretch beyond what I thought I was capable of.

I had to figure out ethernet, learn to edit videos, conquer YouTube, and handle Skype glitches. (I'm no tech wizard.) I had to stay focused so my children continued to get to school and our dog got walked. I even managed one tea date with a friend and talked to my husband on occasion.

Then there was the &%#@$* opt-in video (the one on the sign up page. You can see it here). I've never done anything with video and certainly, nothing that was going to be public. I recorded about 100 takes, took the feedback from my coach, and did 100 more.

And then as soon as the #$&%*$ video was live, one of my best friends called to say it "sucked." After wondering for an hour if I should get a new best friend, my BFF and I re-recorded the video and now it feels like me.

Know what I discovered? I can handle the technology. I can put a video into the world. I can plunk a huge project into an already full life and still keep the wheels mostly on the bus.

Third, working on this series has forced me to let go of any illusion of perfection.

There are a couple of glitchy interviews. A broken link in an email? Yep, have that. Hair sticking out - got it. Dog whining at the door during an interview? Yes, that, too. Sucky opt-in video? Check!

Action over perfection is the mantra that got me through. (Feel free to steal that one.)

Fourth, I had to face rejection.

People declined to participate. I survived.

Fifth, the Corporate Rebel Series has reinforced that the world is a good place, people are generous, and all you have to do is ask.

Putting together this series has been like a giant scavenger hunt. Even the most famous experts, the ones I was afraid to contact, are lovely, normal people. They are thrilled to help and to be part of something that supports our mutual mission to make the world of work better for the people who go there everyday.

I have been surrounded by guardian angels who share their feedback honestly and love me enough to tell me the truth.

Their generosity has been inspiring.

The Corporate Rebel Series has grown legs. With each speaker, an ecosystem has developed of people who care deeply about the work we do and how we can bring heart and sanity to our workplaces. Now, the series is running on its own and the audience is gathering.

A number of people have asked me where this is headed. The truth is, I have no idea. At this point, I'm along for the ride and having a blast.

And I'm ready for a few more tea dates.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

Ever feel like a fraud? 6 Life Hacks to Handle Imposter Syndrome

Estimated read time: 2 minutes, 6 seconds.

Yup. This is what the Imposter Syndrome feels like.

Let's cut right to the chase today. Do you ever feel like a fraud?

See if this feels familiar:

You’re leading a meeting and a voice in your head tells you this is the moment when everyone will find out that you have no idea what you’re talking about.

You get a new job and worry that everyone will now see that you are not qualified and have no idea what you are doing.

You are thinking of starting a blog or a community garden or a new initiative at your children's school and you stop yourself because who are you to do such a thing.

Yeah – I relate. I feel like a fraud when I write this newsletter (I don't have anything new to say). I sometimes feel like I have no idea what I'm doing when I coach and this is the moment when my clients will discover that I cannot help them. Ugh. I hate these feelings.

This condition is so common that it has a name. It’s called the Imposter Syndrome.

Oprah Winfrey sometimes feels like a fraud. Even the most successful VP at your company cycles through feeling like an imposter (I know this because I coach them). It’s human to feel this way.

So, what do you do about Imposter Syndrome? Here are 6 life hacks that will help you through those moments when you know the game is up!

1. Remind yourself that it will pass. And that it will come back. And pass. And come back again.
2. Make fun of it! "Check it out. The jig is totally up this time." Laugh at yourself with humble recognition.
3. Tell someone. Bringing stuff like this into the light of day causes it to vaporize like the vampire that it is.
4. Keep a file of kudos and nice things people have said to you. Save every grateful email, every thank you card. Then pull them out to remind yourself that you and your gifts matter. To lots of people.
5. We need you! Stopping yourself from starting something new because you feel like an imposter denies the rest of us of your gifts. So get going already - even if you know you're not ready. You will never be ready.
6. Take action. Nothing proves your worth to yourself and quiets those soul sucking voices like actually doing something.

I hope this helps!

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE. P.P.S. I've been working on something big and cycling through Imposter Syndrome on a regular basis. In a few weeks you'll get to see it, and you can confirm that I really have no idea what I'm doing.

2 Secrets to Boost Your Success in Conflict

Estimated read time: 2 minutes.

Avoid conflict! Get both! (Ignore my messy bed.)

I hear from my clients that conflict makes their stomachs hurt or makes them want to pretend they never saw it in the first place.

Conflict? What conflict? Did you see conflict around here?

Among many weird things about me, one is that I LOVE conflict (so much so that I used to volunteer as a mediator in small claims court).

Are you on the LOVE it or HATE it end of conflict?

Here's some reasons I love conflict: There's creativity in conflict. There's heat. Conflict leads to cleared air, closer relationships, and more trust. Even if conflict causes separation, there's clarity in the dissolution. You're clear as you walk away and not stuck for years making up stories about what happened.

All this only works if conflict gets handled openly and strategically. Avoiding conflict isn't going to lead to more trust even though through your closed eyes and earnest prayers, you wish it would.

Here are two, actually, it ended up being three, easy to implement strategies to help turn conflict into something that works for you:

1. Shift your mindset about conflict. Start to see the creative power in disagreement. See the opportunities for ideas to get bigger and for you to learn about yourself.
2. Prioritize your relationships. When your relationships are on solid ground, they can withstand conflict. Even big conflict.
3. Find your places of alignment. Every fiber of your being in conflict wants to focus on the disagreement and on being right. (Notice the word is alignment, not agreement). Here's a light-hearted example to illustrate the point:

Say that you want to get a cat and your family wants to get a dog. Very quickly, you can end up in your respective corners taking a stand for CAT! DOG! Instead, experiment with finding where you share alignment - like having a family pet, wanting something to snuggle, maybe having a pet that feels easy to your family. From there it's easier to navigate toward a mutually acceptable solution.

Conflict is creative. Really and truly. Give these tips a try and let me know what happens!

I hope this helps.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.

Are you stressed?

Estimated read time: 1.75 minutes

Focus (not stressed) Central!

I've had a lot going on for the past couple of months - buying and remodeling a house, selling a house, a HUGE project for my business (which you will get to see soon), kids, laundry, marriage, board meetings, fundraising, life.

Does this look like some version of your life?

I've noticed as I'm moving through these various things that friends and strangers alike say things like:

You must be so stressed!

Overwhelmed yet?!

Wow - you must be barely keeping it together!

I'm willing to own that perhaps I look messy because I went to the store unshowered on the way home from carpool in the clothes I pulled off my floor. But honestly, I'm not at all stressed.

Focused, yes.

Stressed, no.

It seems like culturally, we are attached to the idea of being "busy" or "stressed" so much so that we project it all over the place, even in casual conversation, even when we have no idea if the person is actually stressed or not.

Here are some thoughts for you this week:

• Pay attention to all the times someone casually assumes you must be stressed or overwhelmed and notice the impact it has on you (and them).
• Become aware of the times you say it (I was surprised at how often "stressed' words came out of my mouth).
• Then stop, laugh and say something more supportive - like, "Wow, that is so exciting!" "You must be so engaged!" "Are you thrilled?" "It must take a lot of focus."

Notice the shift that happens in you and others.

Let's see what we can do to shift from "stressed" and "busy" to "engaged" and "excited."

And that's what I've got this week. I hope it helps.

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE. P.P.S. I'd love to hear why you think we are so focused on being "busy" and "stressed." So, if you like to share your opinion, hit reply to this email and tell me what you think.

Peace! Now! And how to find it.

Estimated read time: 30 seconds. You just got a bonus minute to use for a simple pleasure!

Speaking of weird little processes. Crabapples!

You life is full. Many days, maybe most days, you run from meeting to meeting, checking your email and texts as you walk. Or your mind is full of your to-do list or what you will say to that person when you see them. Not to mention taking phone calls in your car (tisk, tisk). Stress. Busy-ness. Yikes!

When I worked for a big company our campus was huge. I was back and forth through the halls multiple times a day.

And then spring would arrive, and I would detour myself through a particular parking lot. There was the most glorious crabapple tree at the end of that parking lot. I would stop, stick my nose right into those blossoms and sniff. The marvelous smell of crabapple flowers was enough to propel me forward into even the most stressful meeting.

What's something you can easily do in a few seconds that will bring you a moment of peace and deep pleasure? Here are some ideas to get your little grey cells firing:

• leave the building to grab a cup of coffee
• stare out your window at the blue sky
• call a friend for a quick hello
• go for a little jaunt outside

With just a few seconds, you can find more peace.

I hope this helps!

Christina

P.S. If you know someone who would like to receive this newsletter, they can sign-up for The Corporate Rebel Video Podcast and Newsletter HERE.