Practices That Change The World #8

Time to read: 36 seconds

My son's homemade ramen

Today's practice to change the world is simple and immediately actionable:

EAT

Your day gets busy, you skip lunch, you probably skipped breakfast, too. By 1:00 you are depleted, tired, and crabby. That's because your brain is starving. Your body lacks energy.

We need you at 100% in whatever you do with your day. Solving complex engineering problems needs food. Managing human relationships needs food. Parenting children of any age definintely needs food.

Energy bars don't cut it. Coffee is not breakfast. Popcorn doesn't count as dinner.

Your brain and body need real food. A few years ago, I realized that I get so absorbed in coaching that I forgot to eat lunch. My goals for that year included "eat lunch everyday." That's not a lofty, glamorous goal and eating lunch everyday created profound change.

So, put down this newsletter and eat.

Then do it again tomorrow and this weekend and forever.

Have a great weekend!

The Holidays Are Coming!

Time to read: 21 seconds

Swarovski Christmas dogs. Yup, I love crystal animals.

In the USA, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and then it's the holidays!

This time of year is accelerated…year end at work, prepping for celebrations, time with family (and the complexities that can bring), and all the feelings and busyness that come with November and December. My clients already report feeling slammed.

So, until January, I'm going to make these newsletters short….a quote, a piece of advice I share often, a thought. The idea is you can dive in and in a few seconds, leave with just what you need. Easy. Effortless. You need your time elsewhere right now.

If you love the quote or thought, share it with your friends and colleagues. They can sign up to receive this newsletter here. It may be the best gift you give this year. It's free and takes up no space in your closet.

Here is today's: Pay attention to what you think about, talk about and do. If you don't like those things, change them. Talk about something else. Find something interesting to think about. Make a new choice. Even a small one.

Love to all of you! Please email anytime. I love to hear from you.

How Will You Spend Your Life?

Time to read: 28 seconds

How we spend our days...

Have you ever found yourself saying something like this:

When ______ happens, then I'll _____?

When….

• I retire
• my children leave home
• my aging parents move into assisted living
• I get the promotion
• I lose 10 pounds

Then I'll….

• be happy
• start dating
• pursue my hobbies
• start a side gig
• do work that fulfills me

The things you think postpone having fun/doing meaningful work/being happy is never ending. Until you decide to stop waiting. Sure, when you have a full schedule of meetings or young children at home, your time and priorities are allocated differently than when you were single (cue: every blog I've ever written about choices), and it doesn't mean you have to put off what you want for some distant "someday."

One of my favorite quotes (from writer, Annie Dillard) is, "How we spend our days is how we spend our lives."

You can have more fun now. You can rekindle a hobby or start a new one anytime this week. You can take steps toward a side gig today. You can find fulfilling aspects of the job you have by looking around with new eyes.

What's one small step you can take today toward spending your life the way you want?

When Your Day Is A Pile-On….Do This

Time to read: 1 minute, 2.5 seconds

Bird Murmurations, Tanya Hart, UC Davis

Oh my. Yesterday, everything exploded.

My husband and I squabbled at 6:30 am about food for our daughter's graduation party and the chaos lasted until midnight when I wrapped up a call with a frustrated volunteer. In between, my father was admitted to the hospital (He's fine, Nothing to worry about.), people across the country were texting and emailing with random questions, I realized picking up my son collided with a dinner meeting, client sessions were packed back to back, and a friend needed to decompress after being a first responder to a motorcycle accident on the highway. (The man was alive - saved by an excellent helmet.)

For the entire day, chaos kept coming and coming.

In the midst of the chaos, I noticed something else. Grace. Ease. Flow.

In the past, I would have found a day like this overwhelming. This time, I watched as help arrived and space opened, like a flock of birds changing direction in unison. My husband picked up our son so I happened to be free when my friend needed help. My father's admission to the hospital meant the doctors could treat something while it was still minor. Clients understood when I needed to end on time in order to call my mom. The dinner meeting resolved the questions about food for the graduation party. Time emerged to answer everyone's emails. Trust was forged in a late night phone call when we both happened to be awake.

Stuff happens. Even bad stuff. You and I both know that. Yesterday I learned that if you pay attention just beneath the visible circumstances of the stuff, you see grace and space. The day flowed, and all I had to do was ride, stay present, and respond in each moment.

Then the chaos passed. Today is calm and quiet.

I can't explain why stuff happens in a pile-on. It just does. When the pile-on happens in your life, tune your attention just beneath the surface. You'll be amazed by what you find.

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I Email (Text), Therefore I Am

Time to read: Email Mastery - Part 2 of 2. 1 minute and 15 seconds to read.

Last week I wrote about email as a distraction that we call "work." This week, I want to highlight another way that email invades your consciousness. First, a little background:

As an executive coach, I work from home, and I spend a lot of time with my dog alone. As an uber extrovert, I've been surprised at how ok I am with this arrangement. And, I love connecting - with friends, on the phone with clients, the person at the checkout counter, and other parents at my children's school. I love email. Email gives me an easy way to connect with all of you, and a great way to keep in touch with friends in countries far away.

And, email can get out of hand.

Geez, I hate to even admit this.

At times, email gives me a reason for being. Texting does, too. Tell me if you've ever experienced this (please really do tell me so I don't feel so weird): It's the weekend and you check your email more frequently than perhaps is necessary since no one is online, except they are, and when you receive an email (or a text), you get a little dopamine hit that says, "thank goodness, I matter."

Wow. Did I really admit that?

Here's the thing. I'm saying this as much for my sake as for yours. Your email does not equal your mattering. In fact, you matter just because you do, even if you never received another email in your entire life.

What does matter is your ability to connect. You matter because you show up, you're kind, and you make a difference in the communities you occupy, at work and in life. Your presence makes a difference to the people you love and even to the strangers who cross your path. That matters.

Your email has nothing to do with it, even if it feels like it sometimes. So, you really can put it down.

With rebel love,

Christina

P.S. Wanna share the mattering with your friends? You can! Just forward this email to them and they can join us here.