Week 7: How Do You Create Change?

Time to read: 58 seconds

Goodness, owls are cute!

All summer we've been talking about feeling well-used and being responsible for creating your life. I want to shift to how this applies to living in a chaotic world where it seems like people have lost their decency.

You can't choose the news cycle. You don't choose the driver who cut you off, how a stranger talks online, or whether the world gets kinder this year. If you could change these things, you would have a long time ago.

Here's what you are responsible for: how you treat the person in front of you.

That sounds small next to the size of national politics. It's the most important lever you have to enact real change, and it matters. Every interaction you have is a chance to either add to the noise or subtract from it.

Being the change doesn't mean fixing the world. It means refusing to let the world's worst behavior become an excuse for your own. Someone is going to be rude to a service worker today. It doesn't have to be you. Someone is going to assume the worst about a stranger today. It doesn't have to be you.

You're not responsible for how the world behaves. You are entirely responsible for how you do.

I find this concept liberating.

What To Do When Things Go Sideways

Vintage malachite and sterling necklace. Currently for sale!

You're walking along in your normal life when ka-pow! Something whacks you out of left field.

My life recently took a couple of hard left turns. Where there is before and after. When you know life will never be the same. I tell you this not to invite you to caretake me (no need; I'm good). I tell you this so you see that I understand the experience of life going upside down.

As many of you wrote to me, for all kinds of personal, professional, and political reasons, things feel topsy-turvy.

So, what do you do? That is my next series, starting today.

The first thing you do is hyperfocus. When your world feels chaotic and out of control, set your sights on two things:

1. Your doing: What are your priorities? Make those front and center, and let everything else go. Drop balls. Remove things from your life so you can do and be what you need to do and be. If you need to care for someone, make that #1. If you need to make doctor's appointments, do that. If you need to pursue an opportunity, charge forward. Your garden can wait. Those emails can wait. Your weekend plans can wait. Your vacation can be canceled. In some extreme situations, even that work project can wait.
2. Your being: Who do you want to be in this situation? How do you want to show up? For others and yourself. Anxious? A chaotic mess? A drama queen? Calm? Loving? Present? Connected?

Then choose accordingly. I am referring to emergency situations here, and the same principles apply to what has become our regular daily chaos (sigh, ugh). You choose who you will be, how you show up, and what you will do, no matter what is happening outside.

I'll talk more about this in the coming weeks. Stay tuned. And feel free to continue to send me your thoughts and questions.